*1 star hangover*
• No pain and no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones or random people in there with you.

• You are still able to function quite well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls.

• However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel
as parched as the Sahara.

• Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and fries.
*

2 star hangover*
• No actual pain, but something is definitely wrong. You
look okay but you have the attention span of a stapler.

• The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only
making your rumbling gut feel worse and you have intense cravings for a full Irish breakfast.

• Although you have a reasonable demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you can
handle is some light filing, followed by surfing the net and writing junk
e-mails.
*

3 star hangover*
• Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are feeling rather spaced out and totally unproductive.

• You gag when someone walks past, because the perfume/aftershave they are wearing reminds you of the random flavoured shots you necked with your alcoholic friends the night before.

• Life would be much better right now if you were in your
own bed with a massive kebab and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.

• You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water and a litre of coke, but you haven't wee'd once.
*
4 star hangover*

• You have lost the will to live.

• Your head is throbbing and you can't move suddenly incase you spew.

• Your boss has already bo****ked you for being late and given you a lecture for reeking of booze.

• You put on clean clothes, but you smell of socks.

• You can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an obvious spot shaving, or, it looks like you put
your make-up on whilst riding on the dodgems.

• Your eyes are one big red vein and your hair makes you look like a reject from 1976.

• You would give a week's pay for one of the following:

home time
a Big Mac and fries
somewhere quiet to be alone
a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
*

5 star hangover*

• You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is annoying the employee who sits next to you.

• Vodka sweat is seeping out of every pore and making youdizzy.

• You have crusty toothpaste in the corners of your mouth from when you brushed your teeth this morning.

• Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so you are being suffocated by your tongue.

• You would cry, but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.

• Death seems a pretty good option right now.

• Your boss doesn't even get annoyed at you and your co-workers think that there must have been a death in the family because you
look so pathetic.

• You should have called in sick because, let's face it,
all you can manage to do is breathe ........very gently.
*

6 star hangover*

• You arrive home from your night out and collapse onto the bed.

• You pass out instantly, as you were fighting going into a coma all the way home in the taxi.

• You get about 2 hours sleep, then the noises inside your head wake you up.

• You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room.

• No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck.

• You stumble out of bed and find that your room has transformed into a yacht in full sail on a stormy sea.

• After feeling your way along the skirting boards, you find the toilet.

• If you are lucky you remember to lift the toilet seat before you hurl and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of
walrus mating calls.

• You sit there on the floor in your underwear, cuddling the toilet - the only friend in the world you have left, randomly co

Signs That You are Too Drunk
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job is interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor..

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in..

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

I'm as sober as a judge.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night.


Stages of Drunkeness
0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of pretzles one by one.

5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.

6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing ass.

7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatela.

8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.

9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.

10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.

11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.

12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.

robbed form emma who nicked it of eoghan...... do it any way ,,,

I _______ Graham
Graham is ________.
Graham rocks because___________.
When I think of Graham, I think of ________.
What I have learned from Graham _______.
If I were alone in a room with Graham, I would _______ him!
I think Graham should _____.
Graham loves ______
I want to ____________ Graham
Graham can ______ my _______.
If I had 2 describe Graham in 1 word: _______.
I hope Graham ___.
I _____ Graham because_______________. Graham ______ my ______!!
If I had 2 chose a nickname 4 Graham it would b ________, because_____________!