You know you're a wog when…
You ask your Nonna for a bit of a snack and you end up with 5 kilos of pasta in front of you, with 3 cotaletti and a glass of vino.
Your boyfriend ends up being related to you- he's your zia's cousin's nonna's daughter's comare's son.
You end all your sentences with 'mate'.
When you tell your friend something unbelieveable the conversation always starts with 'omigod mate listen to this ok?'.
If you take a guy home to meet your parents it's already assumed that you're gonna marry him.
You have at LEAST 30 bombonaire in your lounge room- and not one of the sugered almonds has been eaten yet.
You at least own 2 pairs of moccasins with the back of them all squashed.
Your mum has to clean the house 3 times a week.
You have a beach house at Portarlington.
You over hear your Mum's conversation to your Nonna on the phone and the three things that are ALWAYS said are 1. hi mum 2. how are you 3. have you eaten yet?
You don't call Aussies skips you call them shkips.
When someone dies in the family everyone wears black for the next seven years.
All your sauce for the pasta is home made- along with the wine sitting in the garage with the salamis hanging from the roof.
Whenever you hear music with the beat going more than 150 beats/ minute you have a tendency to start raving.
You have that vibe about you that can get you 33 honks from truckies driving down st. kilda rd.
Deaf people know what you're talking about coz of the way you use your hands.
You're already taller than your nonna at the age of 10.
You are related to a Maria, Enzo, Gino, Frank, Tony, and Giovanni.
When you go to a wedding there are always 500 people there- and you are somehow related to every one of them.
You can spot a P plate from 1 kilometre away.
Your favourite movie is The Wogboy- coz you can relate to every bit of it.
You come home 4 minutes late to see yourself on the 5 o'clock news reported as missing.
You tell your parents that you're having a few people over for your birthday and you end up having enough food to cater for 200 people.
If you miss out on one meal during the day your mother reckons that you're gonna die from starvation.
You hang out at safeway to check out the guys in the fruit section.
You're somehow connected to the Mafia.
Your parents like to shop at Franco Cozzo .
After you visit your relatives your cheeks are red and swollen from all the pinching and kissing.
You have about 50 cousins on each side of the family- but each side ends up being connected in someway anyhow.
You either go for Carlton or Collingwood.
The first thing you get asked when you visit your Nonna and Nonno is 'you hungry?'
At every reception dinner you do the Tarrantella.
You're favourite radio station is Kix fm- even though it's off the air you still listen to tapes that you taped while they were on.
When Italy played Australia in the Olympic soccer you were cheering for I-TA-LIA! I-TA-LIA! (don't worry, we know that half the reason is coz the italian soccer players are more sexy!)
(Thanks to Kate D for sending me this joke!)