"Crazy Rap"

(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning, ladies.
You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man.
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes.
But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo', fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
See, I met this woman from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy.
That country music nearly drove

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

THE BASiCS<3

Name: Leanne Porter

Nicknames:none well not ne more since i left skol

Birthday: 15/3/89 remember it!

Gender: female

Hair: pink & black...... yes it got dyed again!

Eyes: Blue

Height: very fuckin small - i blame mam

Zodiac Sign: da one wit da fish

Status: in a relationship lucky enough!

Graduation Year: 2006 ya no da year wit all da jocks

FAVORiTES<3

Movie: hmm the saw films and scary moives and wot ever is on my profile thin

TV Show: lost, csi, desparete housewives, home & away, holby city, casualty, americas next top model, south park, family guy & the simpsons

Book: Nuts its actually quite a gud mag if u take out all the nakedness

Color: Black & pink

Food: chips, chinese, & kebabs..... totally addicated to kebabs!!

Drink(Non-Alcoholic): coke

Drink(Alcoholic): wkd im not adventrous when it cums 2 drink

Scent: tresseme shampoo!

Actor: orlando bloom & jason statham

Actress:

Sport: darts

Cartoon Character: cartman!

Store: any place that has make up

City: i dont travel

Vacation Spot: as above

Band: metallica


Song: any song by metallica

Football Team: liverpool

Animal:by beuatiful doggies i miss them sooo much

Magazine:metal hammer

Sweets: i dont eat sweets

Restaurant:does the chipper count?

Jewelry: dont wear it

Day of the Week: fridays thats when i get paid!

Ice Cream Flavor: strawberry

Number: ??? stupid question

PEOPLE<3

Your Best Friend: meself im da only person i can trust

Your Shoulder to Cry on: my shoulder haha

Do You Have More Girl or Guy Friends: both

Who do You Consider a Sister: i better not say i dont have one eh danielle

Who do You Consider a Brother: eh wayne duh

Who Knows All Your Secrets: NOBODY

Do You Have An Enemy: Oh yeah and she nos who she is

Boyfriend or Girlfriend: boyfriend

Do You Like Someone: duh im wit sum one

HAVE YOU EVER<3

Been in a Car Wreck: no lucky enough

Been Arrested: nope im a gud liitle girl

Broken the Law: yeah but they dont about it..... so does that count???

Been Skinny Dipping: No but gimme a pool and i mite

Been in Love: Yes

Smoked: no

Drank: Yes

Been High: yes

Smoked Pot: i dont smoke it...... haha

Been Kicked Out of School: yes and it woz well worth it

Skipped School: yes

Failed a Class: No

Broken a Bone: No

Shoplifted: No

Tried to Intentionally Hurt Someone: oh yeah dats why i got suspended from skol

Fell Asleep in Class: yes, plenty of times in french!

Been in a Fight: yep & i enjoyed it

Been Out of the Ireland: yes

Had Surgery: no

Spent the Night in the Hospital: Nope

Snuck Out of Your House: yes

Lied to Your Parents: Yes

Showered at Someone of the Opposite Sex's House: no

Saw Someone Die: No

Had a Near-Death Experience: No

Liked Someone Who Didn't Like You Back: Yes

Had a Broken Heart: it happens but i get over it eventually

Broke Someones Heart:no

Cried Over The Opposite Sex: Yes

Played a Game Requiring the Removal of Clothing: ha no

Laughed Until You Cried: Yes plenty of times

Slept Under The Stars: No

Mooned or Flashed Someone: No jaysus im a dry bastard!

Killed an Animal: No but mam killed my dog

Prank Called Someone: no thats just sad

Slept in the Same Bed as the Opposite Sex: Yes

YOUR FiRSTS<3

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: im not namein names when all my gud friends no da answer

Kiss: rather not say

Car: i dont need one he he

Trip Out of Your Country: to england

Job: ere were im workin now

School: cabra

Slowdance: ???

Trip to a Beach: sum beach

Celeb Crush: leo di caprio

Best Friend: Sarah

Pet: a cat

True Love: ???

LASTS<3

Time You Were Out of Your Country: like yonks ago

Slowdance: ???

Movie You Saw at the Theater.. underdog!!!!! haha i liked it!

Person You Talked to on the Phone: dont remember!!!

Song You Heard: in flames

Broken Heart: well o