The entries so far.

Hall of fame

John Meikle for talking about fanny farting with my mum. Truly a jaw dropping moment.

Blue Sweater Guy in the Keg for being a dancing legend. If you haven"t seen this wonderful dancing you haven"t lived.

Dougie Woogie Marr who came out with a belter on Saturday night. John was talking about Fiona, Dougie"s sister and being a filthy bastard as usual. Dougie came back with "That"s horrible John, I"d never talk about Scott like that."

The Welsh guy, who"s name I am reliably informed is Selwyn Evans who was doing quality tricks with cards, string and beer mats last night in the Keg. He was rocking! Legend.

Princes Trust Team 7 Galashiels for making sure our residential at Wiston Lodge was an excellent week. We all had our issues but everyone mucked in together and worked together well to make sure it was a great week all round.

What"s that coming over the hill? It"s Ricky Foster. IT"S RICKY FOSTER!! The Aberdeen winger goes in for somehow capping off a truly woeful 91 and a half minutes at Fir Park last Tuesday with a corking 30 yard wondergoal. How someone who couldn"t trap a bag of cement for the whole game conjured up that I"ll never know, but it was a corker nonetheless.

Calum Shanlin for beating John in the most amazing game of Pro Evo ever! John 3-0 up after 15 minutes and Shanlin down to ten men. Game over? not quite. Shanlin found himself 4-3 up BEFORE half time! Then went on to go 6-3 up. John got a couple of goals back to make it 6-5 and with the last kick of the game hit the bar. Shanlin won 6-5. I was pissing myself.

John Meikle for a hilarious shopping incident. I was doing my shopping and he nabbed the basket to stick some of his stuff in. No problem I thought. So he pissed off to the Kiosk and I got to the checkout to pay for my grub. What has he hidden in my basket? Just two packets of Always Ultras!! Bastard.

Andrew "Broonaldo" Brown for the Lesbania prank. We spotted some butch women who I commented may be commonly known as "Lesbanians" to which Bruno quickly quipped "We have to convince John that that's a real country!" So it became Lesbania, a small provence in the South-East of Romania, broken off much like how Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia etc had broken up in the past. Not only that but they were playing Scotland in a friendly! John came so close to falling for it, but we kinda fucked it up. Karen, Bruno's better half, is going to the game though. Rather than thinking about how ridiculous it sounded, she thought it sounded cool as fuck and wants to go! She was disappointed when we told her the unfortunate truth that we were being a pair of plectrums.

Bristol City for gaining promotion to the Championship. Brilliant day and very much looking forward to next season!

Hall of Shame

Gerard Rossi for the boxing day jersey. An absolute shocker of shockingly shocking proportions.

Jamie Langfield for being a mong in the Scottish Cup reply at Hibs. OK the 4-1 defeat wasn"t ALL his fault, but he was in no mans land for the first and made a pathetic effort for the 4th. Not to mention his rubbish attempt to stop Benji rounding him for the 3rd. Not cynical enough to blame the 2nd on him as that was a ripper!

BA for just being BA. Perhaps a bit harsh, but the only reason he hasn"t done anything deserving in my eyes recently is because I"ve hardly seen him recently. Still he"s in, and he"s staying in! When he does something utterly stupid I will justify it.

Mike Macdonald for an appaling haircut that makes him look like Alan Marr. To fight the good fight, visit www.mikesbarnetmustgo.com

Radio Bristol for deciding to have a "No footy night" on their online service on the night of the first Bristol City vs Bristol Rovers derby in 5 years. Shocker! I could have then put the City in for actually losing to the Rovers but I shall refrain, as promotion is the main aim!

Noby. For texting me earlier saying "Hey pop for cooking we ne

Well thought I may aswell stick something in here. After all, I've had this account for months and haven't said a word. So rather than bore the shit out of you lot and write a load of pointless stuff about how my day was or what I'm doing tomorrow, I thought I'd actually make proper use of this.

At the end of the day I want people to make use of this thing. What will you gain from reading about how Dundee United beat Aberdeen 3-1 today? Nothing as you'll fall under one of two things. You'll already know or won't care. Or both I guess. But yaddah yaddah.

A friend of mine died last week. Suicide. I've had one or two stories about this and that and why it happened. However, there is likely one reason for it to have happened. David was unhappy and made a rash decision. 23 years old is no time for anyone to be checking out. It's not as if we'll be here for long, so I want people to understand one thing about life. It's not ALL bad.

It was Dave's funeral this morning. I didn't go after being talked out of it. Do I feel guilty about that? Yeah I do but I have my reasons. I respected the wishes of his brother and his girlfriend for not going. I do feel guilty that I wasn't there but I was told I should get away for a few days and I've done just that. I know that Dave would have rather I'd got away. Knowing him like I did he's the type who hates a fuss and would have hated the fact that he even had a bloody funeral. I know he'll be up in the sky bitching and moaning about the fact that people should get on with their lives and we shouldn't be upset. However it's not as easy as that. The people who know me and have spent any sort of time with me over the last week have known that I've had up times and down times. But everyone understands grief. You don't fall into a pit of never ended depression, nor do smile through it. I'm not telling you anything you don't understand already, right?

What has gotten me thinking is the fact that obviously suicide has become a talking point for me at the moment. It shocks me not only how many people have been affected by it indirectly, that so many people I've spoken to have either considered it, or even tried it. I myself have had my eyes opened a bit over the past week, and as usual, when a topic has grabbed my attention for whatever reason, I tend to keep it floating around my head till I feel I've found a solution.

Now when I talk about a solution I'm not talking about chucking myself of a bridge. While suicide is on my mind at the moment, it is solely because of David. It's not crossed my mind and hopefully never will. Those who know me well know that I tend to be in one of two mindsets. Positive or grumpy. And the grumpiness tends to kick in due to a lack of sleep.

I'm lucky in that sense. The cup is always half full. If you are the same, this ramble may do nothing for you. If you're cup tends to be half empty, then I hope you gain maybe just a little from what I'm about to say.

I said to a friend yesterday in Peebles that there is only one thing I want to be in 5 years. Happy. I could be using 20 pound notes as coasters and be content, or I could be sweeping the streets and be happy. Given the choice? Give me that brush!

Some people just don't see life for what it really is. That's not their fault neccessarily. After all, everything is taken on face value I guess. One guys cup of tea is another guys cup of piss. I just think there's a lot to be cheerful about in life. I've learned in my life that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you may never find that reason out and that isn't always a bad thing. Trouble is we are on a quest to know everything and anything we are unsure of is automatically seen as a negative. Will I ever find out why David decided to end it all? Probably not, but that won't stop me remembering the good times and leaving him at peace.

I could be bitter. I could call him a selfish bastard or whatever. But I'm happy to have been able to class Da