As most of you will be aware I am out of work at the moment, so please excuse me while I promote a few sites to try and get a few pennies in my pocket.

http://www.redbubble.com/people/mrth...

http://www.sexshop365.co.uk/cgibin/a...
( We ARE all adults here right ?! )

http://www.virtualworlddirect.com/17...

http://www.virtualworlddirect.com/re...

Peter Kay's Universal Truths;

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when
your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger

You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps

Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008
into a calculator - then turned the figures upside down

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
a fire in your back garden

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl

You never know where to look when eating a banana

It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat

Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly

Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity

Some days you see lots of people on crutches

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush

Old women with mobile phones look wrong

It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited

You never ever run out of salt

Old ladies can eat more than you think

You can't respect a man who carries a dog

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
got your hand or head stuck in something

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping
on an upturned plug

People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood specifically to stir paint with

I am heart broken, Avril Lavigne has married her rocker bloke.