Genesis
IN the beginning there was the Stage, and the Stage was without lights or sets, and darkness was on the faces of the actors. And the Technical Director (hereinafter referred to as the TD) said, "Let there be Lights!" and the TECHIES worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and backlighting - yea, lights of all shapes, size and hues. And the TD saw the lights, that they were well aimed and focused, gelled according to the scene, and no more was there darkness on the faces of the actors. And it was good. And the evening and the morning were the First Day.

AND the TD looked upon the actors and saw that although they walked in light, they did walk upon a bare stage, and had no place to be, and the TD was moved to pity. And the TD said, "Let there be a Set!" and the TECHIES scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, wagons, stairs, and furniture of various types and sized, each according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the TD saw the set, that it was good, and the evening and the morning were the Second Day.

AND the TD saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools, for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And in his heart, the TD was moved to pity. And the TD said, "Let there be Props!": and the TECHIES worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. And they were good, and the evening and the morning were the Third Day.

AND the Costumer looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth in blue jeans and the Costumer knew that this would not due. And the Costumer said, "Let there be Costumes!": and the TECHIES did cut and sew and shape, and there were costumes, each sized to the actor, according to the play, and keeping in with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans, and the Costumer saw the costumes, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the Fourth Day.

AND the TD watched the play, and saw that the actors did wait in silence, and was moved to pity. And the TD said, "Let there be Sound!": and the TECHIES worked and taped, and there were sounds, each according to its place and cue, all at the proper levels. And the TD heard the sounds, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the Fifth Day.

AND lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient TECHIES in the first place, He would have finished sooner


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PROVERB
Behold, my son here is wisdom. Pay heed to these words, and in the days of thy play, in the hours of thy performing, thou shalt not be caught short. For truly, it is said, pay heed to the errors of others and youshall not make them yourself, and again, as we have been told from on old, to thine own self be true.

I. Give not unto the actor his props before his time, for as surely as the sun does rise in the East and set in the West, he will lose or break them.

II. When told the placement of props by the Director, write not these things in ink upon thy script for as surely as the winds blow, so shall he change his mind.

III. Speak not in large words to actors, for they are slow of thought and are easily confused.

IV. Speak not in the language of the TECHIE to actors, for they are uninitiated, and will not perceive thy meaning.

V. Tap not the head of a nail to drive it, but strike it firmly with thy strength.

VI. Keep holy the first performance, for afterwards you shall party.

VII. Keep holy the last performance, for afterwards you shall party.

VIII. Remember always that the TD is never wrong. If appears that he is, then you obviously misunderstood him the first time.

IX. Leave not the area of the stage during the play to go and talk with the actors, for as surely as you do, you will be i

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."