Andy Davies
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männlich, 21,
5
- von Garstang/Glasgow
- Profilaufrufe: 3.222
- Mitglied seit: October 2005
- Zuletzt aktiv: 37 Wochen her
- www.bebo.com/Blind_Pilot
- Ich über mich
- Andrew Davies; all round good guy, man of culture, pretentious arsehole and some time poet. You know the deal.
- Music
- Jeff Buckley, Bloc Party, Muse, Ray Davies, Biffy Clyro, Flaming Lips, Radiohead, My Bloody Valentine, Arcade Fire, McLusky, Regina Spektor and loads of things you won't have heard of because i'm indie as fook.
- Films
- High Fidelity, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, The Shawshank Redemption, Donnie Darko, Trainspotting, Goodbye Lenin!
- Sports
- Preston North End, Widnes Vikings (Rugby League), and i quite like badminton nowadays.
- Books
- Catcher In the Rye, Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-time, Mr. Nice, High Fidelity. Currently attempting to become more au-fait with literature as a whole; mainly entails reading The Guardian a lot.
schließen Widgets
schließen Blog
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Another Gem From Newelly
Particually good for any of you at a Scottish Uni...
How Many Students Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?
GLASGOW UNI - Seventy-six - one to change the light bulb, fifty to
protest the light bulb's right not to change, and twenty-five to hold
counter protest.
STRATHCYLDE - Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Scotland using that
nuked light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program
that controls the wall switch.
GLASGOW CALEDONIAN - Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party
because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
EDINBURGH- One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
ST. ANDREWS - Five - one to arrange the party, two to co-ordinate the press,
one to call the electrician, and one to get daddy to pay for it all.
HERRIOT WATT - Three - one to change it and two to figure out how to get
high off the old one.
NAPIER - Only one, but he gets 10 course credits for it.
DUNDEE - Ten - one to buy and fit the bulb, and nine to petition for the
electrification of Dundee.
ABERDEEN - Two - One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the
pressure.
STIRLING - None - Stirling looks better in the dark.
RSAMD - Five - one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance
about it.0 Kommentare 1084 Tage
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God Bless Newelly...
Courtesy of Sir David of Newell (English lecturer and all-round legend), i give you an excellent definition of what a University is. So lend him an ear... oops; i think i'm going to hell. Anyway:
University is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two
thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread
out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to
get dates.
Basically, you learn two kinds of things in University:
1.Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). These include how to make collect telephone calls and get beer and crepe-paper stains out of
your pyjamas.
2.Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours). These are
the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, -osophy, -istry,
-ics, and so on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them
down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them,
you become a professor and have to stay in University for the rest of your life.
It's very difficult to forget everything. For example, when I was in
University, I had to memorize -- don't ask me why -- the names of three
metaphysical poets other than John Donne. I have managed to forget one of
them, but I still remember that the other two were named Vaughan and
Crashaw. Sometimes, when I'm trying to remember something important like
whether my wife told me to get tuna packed in oil or tuna packed in water,
Vaughan and Crashaw just pop up in my mind, right there in the supermarket.
It's a terrible waste of brain cells.
After you've been in University for a year or so, you're supposed to choose
a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most
things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: Be sure to choose a
major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers.
This means you must *not* major in mathematics, physics, biology, or
chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. If, for example, you
major in mathematics, you're going to wander into class one day and the
professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid
binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If
you don't come up with *exactly* the answer the professor has in mind, you
fail. The same is true of chemistry: if you write in your exam book that
carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He
wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have
agreed on. Scientists are extremely snotty about this.
So you should major in subjects like English, philosophy, psychology, and
sociology -- subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody else
is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts. I attended
classes in all these subjects, so I'll give you a quick overview of each:
1. ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read
little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good
grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody
with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying
Moby-Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big
white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white
whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in *your* paper, *you* say Moby-Dick
is actually the Republic of Ireland. Your professor, who is sick to death of
reading papers and never liked Moby-Dick anyway, will think you are
enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic
interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English.
2. PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there
is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in
philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.
3. PSYCHOLOGY: This involves talking about rats and drea0 Kommentare 1095 Tage
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A realisation that i might as well fill this stupid empty space that has been staring at me for ages
Well, i give up. I'm commiting to a "blog". (Errrgh, dirty emo, no-ones cares etc. etc.). Given that i've proudly left this space blank for a good 350-odd days, i have figured that instead of actually writing something about the banality of my working days, or the injustices in Darfur or pretty much anything meaningful, i will instead dedicate the space to anthing i find on the internet/read/bump into on a lonely night in the coming weeks/months/millenia. So, first up, a quite good column from Charlie Brooker- World's Best Columnist™:
Supposing ... We invent some decoy doomsday scenarios
I always wondered what the end of the world would look like. Now I know. Let's face it - we're doomed. Each time I pick up a paper or catch a bulletin, the news is 15% worse than before. Seriously, if I switched on the TV and they were showing live footage of an army of fire-breathing pterodactyls machine-gunning people to death on the streets of London right outside my door, I'd be horrified, but not entirely surprised, nor any more scared than I already am. I'd probably just shrug and wait for them to smash the door down.
We're so screwed, I don't even know what to worry about first. Terrorist extremists? Yeah, they're frightening - but what about those North Korean nukes? Or global warming, come to think of it? I need a personal bloody organiser to sort it out - a gizmo that'll set me a "timetable of concern" just so I can break down my overall sense of creeping dread into manageable, bite-sized flurries of panic. Otherwise, I'm in danger of forgetting to worry about some things - like bird flu, for instance. I haven't seriously crapped myself about that since, ooh, February? Whenever it was, a top-up's long overdue.
I'm not the only one. I was reading a George Monbiot piece about climate change on the Guardian website the other day, and it painted such a bleak vision of our potential future, I swear I physically felt my will to live draining through the soles of my feet, as though it were being flushed out of me and replaced with a sort of heavy, porridge-like despair.
Below the article, in the comments section, a passer-by remarked, "I have two pieces of advice for anyone reading this: 1) Keep an overdose-sized supply of sleeping pills stashed away that is sufficient for yourself, your family and anyone else you care about. 2) When things start getting bad, use them." And this was one of the cheerier entries.
Still, the news isn't always violently upsetting. No. Sometimes the bad headlines turn out to be a false alarm - like the other day, when early reports of a second 9/11 happening RIGHT NOW turned out to be a comparatively minor accident involving a light aircraft. Can't be much fun being one of the victims, of course - for one thing, you've just been killed, and for another, your death was announced by an anchorman mopping his brow, and drowned out by a worldwide sigh of relief - but for the rest of us, it was the closest we've come to hearing good news in ages.
With this in mind, perhaps news journalists everywhere would like to make our lives a little more bearable by running several deliberately petrifying and utterly fabricated stories a week, just so the genuine terrifying stuff feels a bit less terrifying by comparison. And at the end of the week, simply reveal which stories were true, and which were fake. That way, we'll spend our last few years on Earth feeling like we've lived through a string of lucky escapes, rather than a protracted, dispiriting meltdown.
Start with the pterodactyl example. A week later, invent a health scare - some new hyper-contagious disease that makes your eyes boil and burst and run down your cheeks. The gorier the better. Then invent some bogus knuckle-whitening bullshit about a maniac on the Korean peninsula who's got hold of a nuclear bomb and ... Oh. Oh bugger.
Charlie Brooker
Friday October 13, 2006
The Guardian0 Kommentare 1112 Tage
schließen Whiteboard
schließen Fotos
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Fresher's Week at Glasgow
(42)
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The Ball
(48)
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The Ball Uncut
(48)
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The Ball Uncut 2
(5)
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Leeds Festival 2005
(36)
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Philippa's Party
(48)
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Philippa's Party (Cont.)
(48)
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Philippa's Party (Yet More)
(31)
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Jenny's Party
(48)
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Jenny's Party Continued
(33)
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My Album
(14)
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Obviously Four Believers
(10)
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Rich's 18th
(48)
schließen Kommentare
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53 Wochen her
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Gav Legg76 Wochen herbad.....250 quid bad
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Gav Legg77 Wochen her
oi oi u upper class, detached house living wanker!i do know how 2 send stuff thru th post office.no sent it yet tho.will do it soon tho.i promise. u heard th price of our last bill!?fuckin insane!
ps.keep ur dirty preston hands off davie weir!he's my hero an if he ever played for preston i'd die alittle
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84 Wochen her
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Ashleigh Blaney85 Wochen her
That is very spooky! Good Lad!! I hope you will be joining me in getting royally fucked
Oh and i will be decked out head to toe in glowsticks/uv paint ayet! xx
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Cat Newsham109 Wochen herOk, we actually havent spoken in DECADES (because iv bin around for SO many..) and i hav SOOOO much to update you on (i got my belly button pierced btw, its cute)- the rest im not going in2 on bebo but wher hav you beeeeeeeen?!?! i got ur txt but havnt had credit for the past 50 million years or sumthin so i cant txt back and i dont have ur house number so i cant ring... altho i cud ring ur mobile and get it... yeh, i'll try that. ANYWAY come on beo and comment me back and tell me everything that uv bin doing. Actually, dont, just come hoooooooooooooooooome!! I hav nothin to do with my friday nights now... i go in2 the tyde barn on my own and order a coke and a lemonade and the guy that used 2 go to ur primary school laughs at me even more.... haha, ok i dont reely. well, mebbe once. Rite, so this is now the longest comment in the history of the world so i'll try ringing u soon ok? hope evrithin's ok!!!!! love to aaaaalllll xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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122 Wochen her
Mark Alexander Devlin
Goood Stuff!!!!
I'm fine cheers..got me resits in 3 weeks
Cheers mate..i dunno whats wot but i dunno if rossco is gonnae enter a team sumwhere or not!!??
Cheers, i also hope that you are having a good summer aswell Andy!!
And have sum love
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Cat Newsham122 Wochen her
well. for someone who dusnt like bebo, you were only online 3 hours ago.... ok, i sound lyk a stalker. but admit it, ur hooked now, rite?!
. what ru dooing? im booooooored. going 2 c harry potter agen 2nyt!!!! woooooooo!!!!!111 ok, im a saddo. anywauy, wb cos u kno ur hooked!!!! mwah xxxx
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Mark Alexander Devlin124 Wochen her
Alright stranger??!
Hows it goin in En-ger-land??!
Whats happening this year regarding football??
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Gav Legg124 Wochen her
sorry mate,wrote that last comment while under the influence of something!lol.i'll let you make up your own mind about what that is.aye, im gan up on the 28th so you should defo head up with a few folk!
anyways,im at work at 12 on sunday so if you dont fone before then i shall fone you in my break
In a bit u wee man person u!
ave fun an dnt do owt i wldnt -
Gav Legg124 Wochen her
yeh single beds,im well pissed off bout tht like!aye u ave 2 gan pick up ur keys but its only bout a 10 min walk from th actual flat. yeh we dont ave ny duvet covers,cnt remember bout duvets like. Didnt get a gud luk like cos th glasweigin guy came in 2 clean an shit an made it clear tht i was jus getn in th way.
know wot i mean!?lol
nyways give me a buzz on th dog an bone wen u get bac an il tel u more.
Think im gan up th las weekend of july 4 ma bday so get u fine selfs up 2 celebrate wi me!
in a bit!u mall sized man an ave a gud holiday -
124 Wochen her
Cat Newsham
Hahaha that made me laugh. I drove past your house 2day! i waved, and i nearly crashed an then i got shouted at. bless me.
very excited about the dolphin swimming with, you can tell me aaal about it. and yay, i have a present!!! .
when do you get back btw? ring me as soon as you're in the country and we'll go drinking and ill fill you in on all the gossip.
hope you're having a fabby time, and come back sooooon!
and you kno you miss me like hell really.
lots of love! xxxxxxxx -
Gav Legg128 Wochen her
andy,fuck u an ur stupid fuckin football team! ave u seen wot th bastards ave dun!uv nicked karl hawley from carlisle cos ur scum!thts y carlisle hates u!1st u nick th best manager in years an now our goal scorer!u fuckin prick!
(il probs apologise 4 my language wen i calm down but until then...) -
Gav Legg129 Wochen her
andy is as big a legand as his cock
fact -
Mark Alexander Devlin132 Wochen her
Hello there Andy!
Hows it goin in Sidlaw??
Good stuff.
By the way, did Preston miss the play-offs by a point??? 
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Tom Conroy138 Wochen herI am very much looking forward to out idle chit chat and exclusive banter...though not as much on the exam front!!! Iv got my shorts on today as I am mediatating and visualising Leeds!
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Gav Legg138 Wochen her
i think like lisa you also love me,but maybe just a little more.aye im good mate apart from working all the time.working 10 hours a day but i finish on friday!woop! how dare you slag off th mighty PNE!i was in a pub in northern ireland when healy scored for leeds.i was the only person that was annoyed.im back monday afternoon,what time you back?my doors defo locked aswell because i only found my room keys a week ago after i thought i had lost them...they were in the boot of my car and i dont have a clue how they got there?
(notice how i used FULL words ALL the way through)
have fun anyway you dirty leeds person
ps.did you like my pic on your whiteboard of your awesome pulling jacket? -
Emma Holloway139 Wochen herANDREW! how are you? it was good to see you again.
xxxxxxxxxxxx -
Natasha Natasha Natasha140 Wochen hersorry i heard u gt upset that i didnt reply lol
so here i am
anyway i hear u live in glasgow which i s so fantastic because cat wants to take me to glasgow so we can totally go out with u yeah? cat says ur cool so i hope u dnt mind lol
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Cat Newsham141 Wochen her
Come home, it's boring here
. I miss you AND IM STILL ILL. xxx
wot wld u do without this splendid jacket? th amount of shags uv got while wearin this fine specimine of a jacket is astoundin!lol
Gav Legg 0 Antwortenjust a reminder to always say no to beer funnels!! ive learnt my lesson
Ashleigh Rainey 0 Antwortenyou dancing madman you!
Tom Conroy 0 Antworten