If I could be anything in the world that flew
I would be a bat and come swooping after you
And if the last time you were here things were a bit askew

Well you know what happens after dark
When rattlesnakes lose their skins and their hearts
And all the missionaries lose their bark
Oh, all the trees are calling after you
And all the venom snipers after you
Are all the mountains bolder after you?

If I could be anyone of the things in this world that bite
Instead of an ancient ocelot on a leash, I'd rather be a kite
And be tied to the end of your string
And flying in the air, babe, at night
Cause ou know what they say about honey bears
When you shave off all their baby hair
You have a hairy minded pink bare bear

And all the balls are rolling out for you
And stones are all erupting out for you
And all the cheap bloodsuckers are flying after you

Yesterday, Daisy Mae and Biff were grooving on the street
And just like in a movie, her hands became her feet
Her belly button was her mouth
Wich meant she tasted what she'd speak

But the funny thing is what happened to her nose
It grew until it reached all of her toes
Now when people say her feet smell they mean her nose

And curtains laced with diamonds dear for you
And all the Roman Noblemen for you
And kingdom's Christian Soldiers dear for you
And melting ice cap mountain tops for you
And knights in flamming silver robes for you
And bats that with a kiss turn prince for you
Swoop, Swoop
oh baby,
Rock Rock
Swoop, Swoop, Rock, Rock

"Veni, Vidi, Dormivi" (I came, I saw, I slept)

"Corripe Cervisiam" (Seize the beer!)

"Merda taurorum animas conturbit" (Bullshit baffles brains

Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur. (It is a wise man who speaks little.)

Non Gradus Anus Rodentum! (Not Worth A Rats Ass!)

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? (Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?)

"Stercus accidit" (shit happens)

"Exitus acta probat" (The outcome justifies the deed)

"Nemo nisi mors" (No one but death (shall part us))

"Res melius evinissent cum Coca" (Things go better with Coke.)

"Contra Felicem vix deus vires habet." (against a lucky man a god scarcely has power.)

"sunt lacrimae rerum et mentem mortalia tangunt" ((Vergil: the Aeneid: ) these are the tears of things, and our mortality cuts to the heart)

"Meliora Cogito" (I strive for the best")

"Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est" (A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands")

Homines libenter quod volunt credunt. (Men freely believe what they want to.)

Quidquid id est timeo puellas et oscula dantes. (Whatever it is, I fear the girls, even when they kiss.)

Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi. (Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.)

Raptus regaliter. (Royally screwed.)

Totum dependeat. (Let it all hang out.)

"Amor vincit omnia" (love conquers all)

"Veni, Vidi, volo in domum redire." (I came, I saw, I want to go home.)

"Propino tibi salutem!" (Cheers!)

"ascendo tuum" (Up yours)

"coitus non circum." (No Fucking around)

"Ne conjugare nobiscum" (Don't fuck with us)

"in vinculis etiam audax" (in chains yet still bold(free))

"Carpe Canum" (Seize the Dog)

"Carpe Narem" (Pick your nose)

"In caecus terrae, luscus rex est." (In the land of the blind, the one-eye-man is king.)

"Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum" (A wise man doesn't piss into the wind)

"Musica delenit bestiam feram." (Music soothes the savage beast.)

"Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!" (Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.)

"Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est." (Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.)

Braccae tuae aperiuntur. (Your fly is open.)

(At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? (Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?)

"O diem praeclarum!" (Oh, what a beautiful day!)

"Absconde obesito illegitimo" (Get outta here you fat bastard (Buddy Hacket))

"Lupus in fabula" (Speak of the devil)

"Ut sementem feeceris" (You reap what you sow)

"Fiducia virorum in sinistra non in dextra est" (Real men don't attack)

"Sapienti sat" (Enough for the wise)

"Res ipsa Loquitur" (The thing speaks for itself)

"Derevaun seraun" (The end of pleasure is pain)

"Gustatus similis pullus" (Tastes like chicken)

"Te Amo" (I Love You)

"Quod licet bovi, non licet bon jovi" (If a cow can do it, it doesn't mean bon jovi can do it)

"Sed semper ubi sububi in caput meum" (But I always wear my underpants on my head)

"Visne saltare? 'Hylobates Fungosam' scio" (Do you want to dance? I know the 'Funky Gibbon')

"Veni, Vidi. Flati" (I came, I saw, I farted)

"Cibum amo!" (I love food!)

"Cemel Dosce" (Know Thyself)

"Veritas Vos Liberabit" (The Truth Shall Set You Free)

"Non torsii subligarium!" (Don't get your knickers in a twist!)

I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants! (Blackadder 2)

Where haven't I been? (Blackadder 2)

Hey Melchie! Still worshipping God? Last time I heard, he was worshipping me! (Blackadder 2)

I like it firm and fruity. (Blackadder 2)

She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils. (Blackadder 2)

WOOF WOOF! (Blackadder 4)

Treat your kite like you treat your woman... Get inside her five times a day and take her to Heaven and back. (Blackadder 4)

Well, well, well, if it isn't captain slackbladder. Couldn't resist, eh? Told you you thought I was great! (Blackadder 4)

Hey! Any girl who wants to chain herself to may railing and suffer a jet movement gets my vote! (Blackadder 4)

That's how I like my girls...straight and to my point. (Blackadder 4)

Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't like them on my conscience. Not when they ought to be on my face! (Blackadder 4)

Enter the man who wears no underwear, ask me why! (why do wear no underwear lord flash?) Because the pants havn't been built yet that can take the job on! (Blackadder 4)

Bring me Melchett's driver Parkhurst, she's used to hanging around with a big knob, so she'll be used to a fellow like me! (Blackadder 4)

Gosh potatoes George, you said noble brother fliers were in the lurch. If I'd have known it was captain slack bladder and the mound of the hound of the baskervilles, I'd have let them stew in their own juice. And let mw tell you if I ever did that, I'd probably drown! (Blackadder 4)

Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it. (Blackadder 4)

Hey girls, look at my machinery! (Blackadder 4)