Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

--Full Name : Casey Marie Crothers
--Nicknames: Planet, Bubbles
-- Birthdate: 26th July 1991
-- Eye Color: Brown
-- Hair Color: Brown
-- Zodiac Sign: Leo

-----------------DESCRIBE------------------
-- The shoes you wore today: sneakers
-- Your eyes: dark brown
-- Your weakness: guys and relationships
-- Your fears: gas bottles
-- Your style: anything i guess

-----------------WHAT IS------------------
-- Your most overused phrase online: ur an idiot
-- Your thoughts first waking up: whats the time?
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eye colour
-- Your best physical feature: my long eyelashes
-- Your bedtime: sometime after 11
-- Your greatest accomplishment: not sure
-- Your most missed memory: i got heaps

-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
-- Pepsi or coke: coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or Nike: neither
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

-----------------DO YOU------------------
-- Curs(swear): sometimes
-- Take a shower everyday:? yup
-- Have a crush?: hell yes
-- Do you think you've been in love?: yup i do
-- Want to go to university: still deciding
-- Want to get married: yep
-- Get motion sickness: no
-- Think you're attractive: depends
-- Get along with your parents: depends
-- Like thunderstorms: y wud i?
-- Play an instrument: used to

------------IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU--------------
-- Smoked : nope
-- Done a drug: nope
-- Gone to the mall: yup
-- Eaten sushi: nope
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Gone skating: nope
-- Been in love: maybe
-- Dyed your hair: nope
-- Stolen anything: nah

-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
-- Flown on a plane: yes
-- Missed school because it was raining?: maybe
-- Cried during a movie?: maybe
-- Ever thought an animated character was hot?: hell no
-- Had an imaginary friend: wen i was 5
-- Cut your hair: yup
-- Had crush on a teacher?: hell no
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing? : no
-- Gotten beaten up: not saying

-----------------THE FUTURE------------------
-- Age you hope to be married: 30's
-- Numbers and names of Children: 2 not sure on names
-- How do you want to die?: in my sleep
-- What do you want to be when you grow up? Early Childhood Teacher
-- What country would you most like to visit?: Noumea

--------------OPPOSITE(or same)SEX--------------
-- Best eye colour-- Greeny/Blue
-- hair color: Brown wif Blond highlights
-- Best height: bwt 6ft
-- Best weight: dnt mynd az lng az i cn wrap ma armz around hm

-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: NONE
-- Number of CDs that I own: 2 many 2 count
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 4 tyms
-- Number of scars on my body: 6
-- Number of things in my past that I regret and why?: hmm do friednships count?
-- Broken the law: let me think on that one

----------------FAVORITES------------------
-- Shampoo: Garnier Fructis
-- Color: Pink and black
-- Day/Night: night
-- Summer/Winter: summer
-- Fave Food: not sure
-- Fave Movies: The Dead Will Tell

----------------RIGHT NOW--------------
-- Wearing: Cantebury shorts and a support the cause tshirt
-- Drinking: 500 ml V
-- Listening to: Mr Mista - Nesian Mystik

---------------LAST------------------
-- Person you talked to on the phone: Jareth =]
-- Thing you ate: umm a BBQ
-- Song you sang: hmm Mr Mista?
-- Person you gave the finger to: -- some guy who had a nut at work

Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas.



1: I prefer breasts to legs

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

5. I've never seen a better spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

14. you still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you put it in? .

16. you'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning.