My Beloved Severus!!!
My obsession and my life!

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My broom can reach, when flying out of sight
Till the ends of Magic and ideal Enchantment.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's Charm.
I love thee with a love no spell can erase
In a house amoungst snakes, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if JK Rowling choose,
I shall but love thee Forever after death.

My slight rip off of How do I love thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station bathroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay??
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Double Bay Barbie: This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble.She has a master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary.
Comes with a Prozac Prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately.
Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late."
Available at all eastern suburbs Starbucks retailers.


Northshore Barbie: This Barbie is only sold at David Jones. She comes with an assortment of Gucci handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Range Rover and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey."
Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.


Bankstown Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit.This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash- preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at participating pawn shops.


Blacktown Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bankstown Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes slow-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely free.
Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Big W Store.


Cronulla Barbie: This tan model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2Sizes too small, a "100% Aussie" T- shirt and the southern cross tattooed on her shoulder. She has a six pack of VB and comes with Jimmy barnes CD's. She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last bigfight. Comes with Barbie's Dream fibro house. Available at K-Mart.


Central Coast Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with A stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi and a Centrelink cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford pickup are optional.Available at Target


Byron Bay Barbie: This Barbie is made
out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up,and Birkenstocks with white socks.
She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional combi van, you will receive afree rainbow flag sticker.
Available all over Byron Bay and Nimbin


Surry Hills Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at The Columbian on Oxford st. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit.
This model is being phased out.