Ok boys and girls, it has come to our attention recently that allot of people do not fully understand the correct use of the word ‘gang’. So here is a little guide on how to correctly use the word in everyday circumstances without making you look like a gimp. Firstly, forget any ideas you may have on what the word gang means. To put it simply gang is a word stopgap. Let’s say that you are mid sentence and you can’t think of the word you are trying to say...simply insert the word gang and continue. In this regard it has no specific meaning and is subjective and open to interpretation.

It can however be used as a verb & adjective. Being used as a verb it is most commonly used in the first person. “I ganged it out of it...” Translation...I did it with great enthusiasm. “Let’s gang it out...” Translation...Let’s go. “I ganged some food out of it...” Translation...I ate some food. “Are you ganging it into town to get bolloxed...” Translation...Are you going into town to enjoy a few light drinks. To which the correct answer would be “Yeah man, we will gang the fuck out of it” or, “Nah man, I am ganged” Translation...Yes lets go or, No I am too tired. “I ganged this bird out of it...” Translation...Well, maybe that’s best left up to your imagination

Gang can be used flippantly as an adjective also. “This is gang food...” Translation...This is nice food. “Look at that gang bird...” Translation...Look at that very attractive woman. “Look at that gang car...” Translation...Look at that shit box heap of junk over there or it can equally mean that’s a very nice car and must have cost the owner a pretty penny. This is a classic example of when gang can have mixed meanings. “I got a gang burger...” Translation...I got a nice burger.

There are also a few gang phrases which have specific meanings relating to specific activities.

Gang climbing – Climbing a mountain, choosing the most dangerous, stupid, difficult route up and down.

Gang factor – A phrase used to describe a situation. The gang factor describes how weird, dangerous, lucky, sick or gay a situation is.

Gang shinning – Taken from the film the shinning where two or more people say the exact same thing at the same time. Made all the more interesting because the people are usually talking some short of irrelevant shite.

Other non gang related phrase used to visually describe a situation or circumstances are;

Breakdance Juice – Alcohol.
Hyena master – Robbing some else’s drink when they leave it down in a night club.
Predator face – Ugly looking woman.
Brain shaker – A method of increasing ones hangover by shaking their head violently.
Murder gaff – Dodgey looking house with boarded up windows.
Murder light – A flickering light as seen in every single horror film ever made.
Slippery Pigeon – A drunken dance move involving involuntary movement of the head from side-to-side.
Junk bag – A person who is on drugs or chav like.
Gun show – “Going to the gun show” Working out or going to the gym.
Family box - Derogatory term used to describe a woman’s “special” area.

I hope you have found this lesson somewhat helpful....

Remember gang it out to the max...

funny shit 177 days ago

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WIT NESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law this very day!

ROCK ON!
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