when u get hit with one of these, girls.....well....ur jst powerless... 438 days ago

Is your surname Jacob?
Because your a cracker!

Pick a number between 1 and 10?
em...(picks any number)
No sorry,take of ur clothes

Can u touch your elbows behind your back?

Are u a parking ticket?
excuse me?
Because you've got fine written all over you.

Are you Jamacian?
Because your jamakin me crazy!

Can i borrow some money?
what for?
i want to ring my mom and tell her i've just met the girl of my dreams

Is that a polar bear?
what?
oh no its just something to break the ice

Arnt you tired?
why?
because you've been running through my mind all day

Pick up a bag of sugar which actually says 'sugar' on it and say:
excuse me you dropped your nametag

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well then i guess u no what im here after

Do you have a bandaid? Because i just scraped my knee falling for you

Baby, you must be a broom..because you just swept me off my feet

There must be something wrong with my eyes, i cant seem to take them off you

Girl you better have a licence...because you're driving me crazy

Hi, i make more money than you can spend

You better know CPR because you take my breath away

Damn girl, if being sexy was a crime...you'd be guilty as charged!

I must be in heaven...because im standing next to you!

If i could rearrange the alphabet,i'd put U and I together

You must be from outer space, because i can see the stars in your eyes

Can i have directions?
To where?
To your heart

Hi,im Mr Right..someone said you were lookin for me?

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say:
I'm not nearly this tall...i'm sitting on my wallet

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should i walk by again?

When i saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so im going to need your name and number for insurance purposes

You know what? Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche.

Do you have a map? Because i just keep getting lost in your eyes

Is there an airport near by, or is that my heart taking off?

Are you religious? Good because im the answer to all your prayers

Can i get your picture.. to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist

Baby,if you were words on a page u'd be what they call fine print

Baby, someone better call God...because he's missing an angel

The way the light is hitting your eyes,i can see myself in them...and damn..i look good!

Can i get a picture of you so i can show Santa what i want for Christmas?

Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me

(CLASSIC)
Excuse me but do you have tickets?
Tickets to what?
(points to arm and flexes)
To the gun show!

Sorry but iv lost my phone number...can i have yours?

Excuse me, i think you have something in your eye...Nope its just a sparkle

Has antone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands?
eh...no?
No of course not that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say,wouldnt it?

Hi i'm a thief, and im here to steal your heart.

Hi i just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down;go ahead say no

Hi im Batman, wanna see my Batmobile?

Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless

My love for you is like an energizer bunny, it just keeps going and going

Ok im here, what do you want for your next wish?

This is your lucky day,because i just happen to be single

Is your father an alien? because honey, on planet earth, there aint nothing else like you!

Was your dad king for a day? he must have been, to make a princess like you

Your hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power!

wanna see my stamp collection?

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to life!

You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.

I'd buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the gla

If u cant dance flail suggestively..Phelim..he insists it has worked in the past

I am a dinosaur...orlaith as we tried to tiptoe into will and Ciaras room while absolutely wasted!

U look like Ciaran with a fine bushy mustache...Phelim in reference to my dapper moustache i made out of my hair!

My name is Phelim but the ladies call me Phelim... Orlaith

Im gonna rock ur world in quite a gentle way like a chocloate cake rather than a bag of drugs...David O' Doherty/ Orlaith

This is like the post sex cigarette....Me..after i raped orlaith and lit up after..very satisfying

Ready 4 round 2?...Me again..speaks for itself...and oh was she ready!

Hav u got a magnet in yer head, coz ur attracting my buns of steel... Phelim..stealing lines from family guy..and rubbing his ass in Ciaras face..genius.

Thats how she likes it - unnecesiraly duuuuuurty nd painful
Fuckin lob it in nd none of that fancy stuff..jen

Phelim: im running out of space on my thingy, alan: thats what she said

yeah cool ill just batter sausage sean...orlaith

Me(Talking about my Jesus brand lipgloss): look at my lipgloss, returns lips to their near virgin quality..Orlaith: You should put that on your vagina...durty bitch

shut yer bush!!!...ciara..does exactly what it says on the tin

that must hav been moist for you..orlaith

Me *puts on lipgloss* orlaith: "next u'll b puttin it on and kissing people." Me *kisses orlaith's cheek* orlaith "i didnt mean on the face..."

Forget You BIIITCH!!!...Phelim after being told by orlaith that he was a Wide load...it was his time of the month

Were gonna booze like tom cruise...?...Eh Clearly!

U absolute whore mobile...Phle to Me after i stole all the cushions to make myself a nice bed and left him with only his jumper for a pillow and a petty sheet. I still stand by my decision

Ill nobby ur nuts...orlaith..shes a slut.

At the bottom of Jen, Jen and maeves list of things to do before they left edinburgh was a classic: "whoever is the first girl to orgasm must shout out at the end..ooohhhhhhh I'd love a cup of tea!!!!!!!!

So we've only been in Toronto two days but we figured it was time to get a start on handing out CVs and trying to bag ourselves a job. So while bumming around the apartment and getting ready to head out i find a site on the internet that advertised "exciting opportunities for university students looking for summer jobs - Great pay, flexible hours and valuable experience" - How could i not click into it??? So Me and shinners fill out an application form online, may as well, and basically sent it off not really expecting any reply or anything! straight away we both get an email back telling us to ring this number to "organise our interview". Again what was the harm so we both rang up and got us an interview which was like two hrs after we filled out the application form! We got ourselves into some Suitable attire which was pretty damn unsuitable considering how fucking hot it was outside but we thought it was worth it considering this "exciting job opportunity". The guy on the telephone had given me pretty simple directions and it sounded pretty strate forward so we got on our way. We got the subway to Eglington as the guy had told us and decided to head west as he had said following a big sign saying WEST. but it wasnt west. So on and on me and sinead walked and Basically ended up in the Toronto Ghetto surrounded by lovely shops such as "EuroWear..the best from the EU" and "Mr. Lube". aswell as some shall we say rather unsavoury characters. after walking for about a mile nd a half we decided this wasnt the right place and hailed a taxi to take us to the right place which turned out to be around 3miles in the other direction!!! anyway we eventually made it to the place and entered the room to be greeted by a room full of "hopeful applicants" and a whiteboard saying "welcome fill out an application and take a seat". Already everything was looking a bit shifty but we decided to go with the flow. After filling out an application we were introduced to Phil..a young go getter district manager who was going to conduct the interview and put us thru a pre screening. the pre screening seemed all well and good and except from the fact that he kept calling Sinéad Shin-ad it was just a quick look through our CVs and some info about what the co. did...the company VECTOR were a marketing company and we wud be sales reps for a co called "CUTCO".."have u ever heard of cutco?" phil asked..oh his disappointment when we didnt..but he seemed interested in our CVs and told us we had been apporoved to move forward to the next stage of the interview which would be in a group setting and oh btw would last around 90mins! again we went with it..didnt want to be rude. Phil - in his oversized man suit - proceeded to tell us about the co, give us a demonstration of how great these knives were which included cutting up a penny some rope and some leather! have to say the knives were rather impressive but everything was getting a little bizarre. We were asked questions such as "why wud the knives have edges like these" which one rather bright man replied "so u dont get cuts by the sharps". Totally serious. Me and shin has to stifle our laughter and continue our insistance that we really wanted to be a part of the "VECTOR family". More questions ensued and we reluctantly began to take part "Yes shin-ad u had your hand up?". All our answers were enthuasiastically answered by our mate Phil with "Yeah! for sure!" again stifled laughter. the talk continued and continued and we found out that our clientelle wud be based on who in toronto we knew...and this was ..in our case, no one! at this stage it was getting hard to keep a straight face but thankfully Phil moved onto the third stage an individual interview where we found out if we had been accepted while the rest of us waited outside and nice phil put on, of all things, Austin Powers "Goldmember" to keep us occupied. We waited and waited fighting the temptation to just cut and run we figured it would be worth