Heres a little prayer for all u beer drinkers.......

Our larger
which arts in barrels
hallow be thy drinks
thy will be drunk (i will be drunk)
at home as in the tavern
give us this day our foamy head
and forgive us our spillages
as we forgive those who spill against
us and lead us not to incarceration
but deliver us from hangovers
for thine is the beer
the bitter and the lager
forever and ever

barmen.

Homer Quotes

1."Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like love"

2."God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion"

3."All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer"

4."If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such"

5."Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family"

6."Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English"

7."Prohibition? HA! They tried that in the movies and it didn't work"

8."Operator! Give me the number for 911"

9."Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

10.Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

11.Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

12.Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

13.Homer (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! hits tree

14.Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

15. Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

16. Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

Ralph Wiggum Quotes

1.Me fail English? That's unpossible.

2.Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

3.Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?
Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.
Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens

4.Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!

5.Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

6.Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

7.Ralph: When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.

8.Ralph: Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants.
Chief Wiggum: Just relax and it'll come, son.

9.Miss Hoover: Now, take out your red crayons.
Ralph: Miss Hoover?
Miss Hoover: Yes Ralph?
Ralph: I don't have a red crayon.
Miss Hoover: Why not?
Ralph: I ate it.

10.Ralph:"Slow down Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours."

I think the life cycle is all backwards

You should start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then
when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like
conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters
everyday,
--- and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.