1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
anotherman.
In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At
that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
Weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask
the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.

14: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

15: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

16: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding s*x pending your response.

17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

18: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating,both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
need.

19: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

20: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
friend"have carnal, drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling
weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again
before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

21: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
her to drive yours.

22: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime
green,orange or sky blue.

23: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an PS3.
End of story.

24: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.



We've all heard about people having guts or b@lls. But do you really
know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed
below.


"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts
to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"B@LLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the a$s
and having the balls to say,

"You're next!"


We hope this clears

eoghan geoghan was once a young man who loved love. he loved the whole idea of love. he once thought himself as a relationship guru.he would tell his older but less mature friends how to treat ladies. afta a nasty break up this once loving young man was changd.....he quickly bcame wat he calls a malaker...dis is wer he gets a few drinks in him nd decides 2 destroy wat eva is put in front of him...dis left ova shell of a man traveled to new zealand wit one intent, and one intent only..too get get laid and get paid. On der travels his group of friends, self named the CORE 4, stopped by drug capital of the world Amsterdam. It was there eoghan enjoyed 3 nights of constant hookers. As they left for New Zealand Eoghan felt he had enough experiance to fully satisfy the maori woman of New Zealand. Once the CORE4 had landed in there new destination Eoghan immeaditly began to sleize on anything without a penis...As he promised the CORE he would keep up, in was he refers to as a fine art, the 2 week rule, 4 months into the holiday he had many noches on his bedpost....sadly soon after he hit da 27 mark he began to feel less then ideal..his caring friends led by rugad manly Matthew Baston accompanied him to the hospital..as Eoghan was busy having tests done the CORE4 eagerly waited to hear what was wrong with there friend...Hours past, but finaly he came out with the doctor...both had a rather sad face...He den informed us that he had caught the aids.
Eohgan had fallin in love with this country and did not wish to return home but rather spend his last few weakened days in bed...As the time crept closer for his last breath he called the remainder of the CORE into his room...He took a deep breath and announced his final words loud enough for all to hear..

"UNPROTECTED SEX MAY HAVE KILLED ME...BUT BEFOR I DIE I WANT EVERYONE TO NO.....I HATE MARK MAHON!!!"

>> >>MALE COMEBACKS TO FEMALE COMEBACKS TO MALE CHAT UP LINES

>> >>

>> >>Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

>> >>Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

>> >>Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls

>>you a fat slut. >>

>

>> >>Man: Is this seat empty?

>> >>Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

>> >>Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my

>>c&^% just yet >>

>

>> >>Man: Your place or mine?

>> >>Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

>> >>Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the

>>back of my >>car, I don't give a shit where you go.

>> >>

>> >>Man: So, what do you do for a living?

>> >>Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

>> >>Man: That explains the moustache then!

>> >>

>> >>(CLASSIC!!!!)

>> >>Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

>> >>Woman: Unfertilized.

>> >>Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

>> >>

>> >>Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

>> >>Woman: But would you stay there?

>> >>Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that

>>is >>impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.

>> >>

>> >>Man: Would you like to dance?

>> >>Woman: I'd rather eat glass.

>> >>Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in

>>those pants. >>

>

>> >>Man: Where have you been all my life?

>> >>Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.

>> >>Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while

>>your dad watches.

>> >>

>> >>Man: You're pretty

>> >>Woman: Piss off.

>> >>Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat

>>bitch. >>