"Rattlin' Bog"

[Chorus:]
Oh ho the rattlin' bog
The bog down in the valley-oh
Oh ho the rattlin' bog
The bog down in the valley-oh

Now, in this bog,
There was a tree,
A rare tree,
A rattlin' tree,
The tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

Now, on this tree,
There was a limb,
A rare limb,
A rattlin' limb,
The limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

Now, on this limb,
There was a branch,
A rare branch,
A rattlin' branch,
The branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

On this branch,
There was a twig,
A rare twig,
A rattlin' twig,
The twig on the branch
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

On this twig,
There was a nest,
A rare nest,
A rattlin' nest,
The nest on the twig,
And the twig on the branch,
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

In the nest,
There was an egg,
A rare egg,
A rattlin' egg,
The egg in the nest,
And the nest on the twig,
And the twig on the branch,
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

On the egg,
There was a bird,
A rare bird,
A rattlin' bird,
The bird on the egg,
And the egg in the nest,
And the nest on the twig,
And the twig on the branch,
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

On the bird,
There was feather,
A rare feather,
A rattlin' feather,
The feather on the bird,
And the bird on the egg,
And the egg in the nest,
And the nest on the twig,
And the twig on the branch,
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

On the feather,
There was a flea,
A rare flea,
A rattlin' flea
The flea on the feather,
And the feather on the bird,
And the bird on the egg,
And the egg in the nest,
And the nest on the twig,
And the twig on the branch,
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in the bog,
And the bog down in the valley-oh!

[Chorus]

And the bog shall live in the valley-oh!

Wayne Rooney Song, to the tune of "champions league, youre having a laugh"

"I saw my mate, the other day,
he said to me Ive seen the white Pele.
So I ask, who is he?
He goes by the name of Wayne Rooney.

Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney
He goes by the name of Wayne Rooney
______________________________

United Road - To the tune of "country roads"

Take me home, United Road,
To the place, I belong,
To Old Trafford, to see United,
Take me home, United Road.
__________________________________
 _

Stretford End Arising

I see the stretford end arising
I see theres trouble on the way
Dont go out tonight, unless youre red and white
I see theres trouble on the way
________________________________

Cantona Song

What a friend we have in Jesus,
hes our saviour from afar,
what a friend we have in Jesus,
and his name is Cantona

oooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Cantona
oooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Cantona
oo ahh, oo ahh, oo ahh Cantona
oooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Cantona
____________________________

If you want to go to heaven when you die

If you want to go to Heaven when you die,
You must keep the red flag flying high
you must wear a red bonnet
with fvck the scousers on iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
If you want to go to Heaven when you die
______________________________

United Calypso

Whenever theyre playing in your town
Get yourself to that football ground
Take a lesson you will see
Football taught by Matt Busby

Its Manchester, Manchester United
A bunch of bouncing busby babes
They deserve to be knighted
___________________________

Matt Busby Song

Bertie Mee said to Matt Busby
Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury?
No said Matt, you cockney tw*t
but Ive heard of the stretford, enders
___________________________

You are a scouser


You are a scouser, an ugly scouser
youre only happy, on giro day
your mums out stealing
your dads drug dealing
please dont take, my hubcaps away

___________________________

"U.N.I.T.E.D. united are the team for me,
With a nick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone,
Take your fans and fuck off home....."
------------------------------------------------

You are my Solskjaer my Ole Solskjaer,
You make me happy when skies are grey,
And Alan Shearer was fucking dearer,
So Please don't take my Solskjaer away.

----------------------------------------------------

If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the arse of a crow,
I'd fly over Maine Road tomorrow,
And shit on the bastards below, below,
Sh1t on, shit on,
Sh1t on the bastards below, below,
Sh1t on, shit on,
Sh1t on the bastards below.

---------------------------------

In you're bitter blue world,
You don't go to Cardiff,
You don't win no cups,
You hate Man United ,
And hope for fuck ups,
In you're bitter blue world.
--------------------------------

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiin your liverpool slums
You look in the dustbin for something to eat,
You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat,
In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums,
You shit on the carpet, you piss in the bath,
You finger your grandma, and think its a laugh,
In your Liverpool slums.
In your Liverpool slums,
You speak in an accent exceedingly rare,
You wear a pink tracksuit and have curly hair,
In your Liverpool slums.
In your Liverpool slums,
Your mum's on the game and your dad's in the nick,
You can't get a job 'cos you're too fuckin thick,
In your Liverpool slums.
----------------------------------------

We're on the march, we're Fergies army,
We're all going to Wembley,
And we'll really shake 'em up,
When we win the F.A. cup,
'Coz United are the greatest football team.
---------------------------------------------

Drink, drink, wherever you may be,
We are the drunk and disorderly,
And we don't give a shit and we don't give a fuck,
We're going home with the European cup.

The College Lads Rules

Shotgun:

shotgun can only be called on the day of shotgun,
u do not have to see the car to call shotgun,
no illegal calls (ronan)

Nites Out:

1 Every nite should be started with redka (kinsey vodka and red rooster)
2 Redka should be downed to enhance your drunkness!!!
3 we all have to be in a club withi 20 mins after redka is downed after that its a disaster...we all remember that fateful nite
4 sean will always turn up no matter where we go...hes got a radar..even wen gar went to time he was there
5 when some one calls SHOTS!!!! and swings there hand in the air...shots must be consumed
6 when some1 calls DOWN IT!!! and catches you off guard you must down your drink
7 when tom is hammered he will become painfully honest about ppls physical appearance even 2 ppl he dont know...cause he's a nice bloke
8 when tom is on the dancefloor and a quick song comes on and ppl shout TECHO TOM he will jump around like a mad man scaring everyone in sight
9 gar and jay probaly will get into a fight with complete strangers
10 tom will try and stop it
11 ro will b so pissed he just hits ne1 in sight (on the sly)
12 ste will never get drunk
13 sean will say "c'mon we get a round of shots in lads...then make everyone pay for their own even tho its his round!!
14 gar will probably meet anyone
15 sean will definately meet a fat minger (we all know who i mean)
16 tom will be there to slag and shout at that fat minger while sean is meetin her!!
17 ste wont meet anybody...except maybe the hamburglar!!
18 jay will meet most girls in the place once they are nice lookin!!
19 if its the playhouse jay will get kicked out sooner or later on that night
20 tom and ro will meet the same girl (guess who!!)
21 foley will meet a bloke or two...or three!!
22 leanne will meet a girl or two..!! or three!!
23 if chelsea is there she will get sick at least once!
24 we'll all wake up the next day in a ball and still locked not remembering anythin!!!

The nexy day
25 every will be in a jock (contd from rule 24)
26 u will probably be on the doge from a bird you met the nite before
27 u will have a new phone number on your phone(thanks to tom)
28 do not reply!!
29 remember the rule:if i dont remember it, it didnt happen
30 in order to have a good nite you must follow all of the above rules.