Many of you who know me will remember I seem to have a strange, sometimes ridiculous love for making new words. So I thought for your veiwing pleasure, I'd list a few of my favourites and their meanings. If you get a kick out of stupid words, I hope you'll like this, and I've included a few 'logical progression' nicknames I've come up with over the years. It's worth noting that these changes came about over time, and each intermediate step in the chain lasted for between a few days to a few years.

Ventersisms
G - anyone from the hostel (and Laura now) knows this means coffee. It's origins are a Knorr advert. Funnily enough, I first started getting into proper ground coffee at the time that Knorr advert with the welsh guy calling someone's mum "a proper gomper" was airing on TV. Proper coffee = proper gomper. So after a short lives phase of calling it proper gomper, it went to gomp, then simply G.

D - smoothie. Marcus helped in the conception of this one. Smootie > Smoothoid > Thyroid > Thyro > Thyro The Dragon > Dragon > D.

Herse - pasta. Co-founded with Grousey. Pasta > Past Arse > Arse > Herse. We were both satisfied with calling pasta 'arse' but Herse arose out of necessity - you can't very well ask, in polite company, if anyone would like any arse. That's just not right.

Lunchbag - douchebag. I felt douchebag is a bit cliched. Calling someone a lunchbag though, is as confusing as it is brilliant.

Ristos - nickname for Iain Mackay. We all know he has the nickname Harry, that's old news. So, Harry > Harris > Haristotle > Haristocrat > Risto > Ristos.

Grousey - nickname for Douglas, partially inspired by Team America. Douglas > Dougrus > Dug-grous > Grouse > Grousey. (Note: though Grousey is what I most often call him, Grubles is the next, as of yet seldom used, link in the chain.

Hank the Tank - nickname for Gothzilla, Chewbacca (her real name is widely unknown, emphasis on the wide) - Don't honestly know where that came from. She was as big as a tank and she looks like a geezer. She's a sheezer, if you will. This name was made before I'd seen 'Old School: Unseen' and hence was not aware of 'Frank the Tank' at the time of creation.

T - derivation of chod (i.e. poo). Chod > siod (pronounced "see-odd", which is a nod to gaelic culture. It's not a coincidence that the only reference to gaelic is made in a term for shit.) > Sweeney Todd > Todd > Tiod > T.

Babylonius (pronounced bab-ah-low-nee-uss) - shite. Contextually more common as an exclamation of disbelief, similar to bullshit. Derivation of baloney, though the intermediate steps have long since been forgotten.

Rufios - Potato waffles. Waffles > Rofls > Roofuls > Rufios.

'Ra Derivation of Laura. Arose out of sheer laziness, quite obviously just chopped off the first few letters to allow for monosyllabic ease. Now that's phenomenally lazy.

Shazeep, also Shatzub, ma-grozub - derivations of what's up, though intermediate lineage is forgotten. The latter was influenced by Morrowind though.

A : You are a menace to society.
B : You like people.
C : You're wild and crazy.
D : You like to drink.
E : You like solitaire.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You have a very good personality and looks.
I : You are a menace to society.
J : You are a menace to society.
K : You are really silly.
L : .Everyone loves you
M : You are a menace to society.
N : People adore you.
O: You are one of the best in bed
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : Freakin crazy
S : Easy to fall in love with.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : One of the best damn bf/gf ne one could ask for.
Z : Always ready.

J: You are a menace to society.
A: You are a menace to society.
M: You are a menace to society.
I: You are a menace to society.
E: You like solitaire.

Wow, who knew there was so much hate in such a lovely, talented and handsome lad? Alright, you know the drill, another list of 100 things I hate. Before reading this, you might wanna catch up on the previous 300 sprewn between my two profiles if you haven't read them already. Anyways, on with the hate!

1. 'Umbrella' by Rihanna. Who the fuck writes a song about an umbrella?! She should get together with that woman who did 'Milkshake' and together they could write the shittest song ever about a common everyday item. For example:

~Verse 1~
Fairy Liquid's getting stronger,
Squirt for squirt, lasting longer,
All the bubbles it creates:
Great on mugs and ceramic plates.

~Verse 2~
Clearing away all the muck,
Smells better than Toilet Duck,
Though it's 'Fairy', it don't grant wishes -
Just cleans stubborn stains from your dishes.

~Chorus~
Scrub a dub dub,
Two plates and a tub.
Scrub a dug dug,
4 seives and a mug.
Scrub a doon doon,
5 bowls and a spoon.
Scrub a daze daze,
A cheesegrater and...

~rapping breakdown~
Those little teflon pockets you get to put in the toaster, you know, the wee baggies that you can put most foods in (amazingly including beans!) and then you can pop them in a toaster and it'll cook them. Although it's just as easy to put them in a pan and cook them on the hob, and that way you can stir so it's not just burning around the edges while the rest is still cold. Speaking off the record, they're a pretty shit invention actually, cos who the fuck cooks beans in a toaster anyway? I mean seriously, not cool. ~end of song~
...and so on.
2. Contact lenses can cunningly trap wee pieces of dust between themselves and your cornea. And oh how it stings! And if you get an eyelash in your eye when you're wearing contacts, it feels like you're getting a firehose of boiling acid shot straight into them. Almost makes being able to see not worth it.
3. Goldfish. Rumours would have you believe they have a 5 second memory. I wish my memory was that good.
...wait, what?
4. I'm not saying P.E. teachers are necessarily evil, but if I were looking for the devil incarnate, let's just say I know where I'd start looking.
5. Football. The beautiful game?! Fuck right off! Tiddly-winks is the REAL beautiful game. Oh, and Ape Escape is way up there too. Yeah, Ape Escape is freakin' sweet.
6. Comedy T-shirts. You see one in the catalogue and think, "YES! YOU MUST BE MINE!". But by the time it comes, the joke has already worn thin. And after your mates have seen it once, that's it. You don't ever wanna wear it again. Might as well have thrown my money at a hobo without hands. At least that'd be more entertaining, seeing them try pick it up with the wee nubs. It'd be like novelty sized chop sticks.
...Christ, I'm a horrible person.
7. The phrase 'let some air out of your head'. In a literal sense, that can only mean exhale. And I'm gonna do that anyway, with or without your blessing. It's like telling the sun to shine. Idiots!
8. Cinnamon. It's kinda spicy but not in a way that burns your tongue. It just kind of titilates, and nobody likes a tease.
9. Kiera Knightley. She has the jawline of Desperate Dan and the eyebrows of a bear. She's so thin it's line her skin is shrink-wrapped to her skeleton. I don't see the attraction.
10. White boxer shorts. Way to ask for trouble.

11. The Arctic Monkeys. Kinda shite. Like all the other music you like that I don't.
12. Arse hair. As if the solid mass of fat isn't enough to keep it warm. And I know most guys will secretly kudos this, isn't it a fucking ordeal when they tangle over your ring? Suddenly, you're unwittingly cheese-wiring your shit.
13. Hotel Managers that snoop around their employees bebo pages, most likely ON COMPANY TIME, WHILE THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE.
14. Ever blown into a pestle and mortar to get them clean of cajun spices? DON'T. Your breath whips round the bowl and back into you