The Butterfly

Sapphire blue, and electric purple
He displays his wings for all to see
Endless pride and shameless vanity
Beauty radiating like a blooming orchid
Delicate antennas protrude pryingly
He knows you're looking and continues to parade
His wings beat together like two rhythmic fans
He’s got you mesmerized
You’re in a tranquilized state of awe
His ego fueled by your attention
Satisfied, he knows his job here is done
Like a crafty magician, he performs a slow disappearing trick
Leaving with an aesthetic escape

By Khanh Mai

11/01/08

Hey guys I'm back with my 3rd volume. I know how you've all been desperately waiting so i worked extra hard to give you guys these tips. Spread the cheapness to the world !! Leave a comment if you have read it =]

15. If you're a girl, when you go to the hairdresser, dress up in guys clothing. Now you also have to talk and act like a guy. Since guys haircuts are cheaper than girls you will save a lot of money. If the hairdresser questions your sexuality by poiting at your pertruding breast, chuck a pms and say 'its not my fault i have man-boobs'.

16. When you run out of deoderant these are some things you can do. Go to your toilet and use the air freshioner as deoderant, you will smell fresh and clean. If you don't have an air freshioner, sneak into your neighbors flower garden. Collect some scented flowers and stick them underneath your armpits. You will be smelling fresh as a daisy all day long.

17. If you have a dog and a car, this is what you should do. Leave your dog and car for a couple of weeks until they both get dirty. After they're both dirty, place your dog on top of the car and sprinkle soap and Car Shampoo on top of both of them. Turn on the hose and wash both of them at the same time. This will save both time and money.

18. When you're at the hairdressers, after they've cut your hair ask if you can keep your hair.
If you keep your hair you can actually sell it for $$ which you can use to pay the hairdresser with. The only hard thing is finding a person who would actually want to buy your hair.

19. After winter ends, Summer can get pretty hot. Take out a pair of worn out jeans that you have and cut the legs off. This will leave you with denim short shorts which you can wear any summer. If you want a pair of g-strings but are afraid of going to buy one. Get out your underwear, now tell your crazy little brother to give you a biiiiiiig wedgie. This will leave you with your underwear wedged between your ass which gives the feel and look of a G-string.

20. When going to the cinemas, dress in completely black clothing - it's also good if you have dark skin like me. Also make sure you bring a bucket of honey which you stole off a bee hive, a long straw and large plastic bag. Buy a ticket for a scary movie but don't buy pop corn. Sit at the back of the room and wait until there's a scary bit where everyone is either focused at the screen or hiding underneath the palms of their hand. When that moment comes, stick your hand in the tub of honey and then stick your hands into people's pop corn. They will be too consumed by the movie to notice you. If you're lucky they may have a Coke slurpy, now use your long straw to reach for their slurpy and suck it dry. When the movie finishes and the credit ends, you will see heaps of pop corn lying on the seats and ground. Use your large plastic bag to collect the pop corn left on the floor so you can save it for next time you go movies.

21. If you're on a date with your gf/bf bring along only a credit card. Take them to a dodgy restauraunt where they only accept cash and choose the most expensive meal. When the waiter asks you for the money, give him the credit card. He will not accept it and your date will end up paying. This way, your date doesn't think you're cheap because you have a credit card but you also don't end up paying and get a nice meal. Love is important, but trust me, love cannot buy you want you want all of the time. *Jennifer Lopez's love don' cost a thing starts playing*

OMGG first of all i juss want to say thanks for all yall support for my first volume. I didn't know all yall was so cheap like me well i hope they helped. You people have motivated me to become more cheap if thats even possible and write EVEN MORE tips to be CHEAP LIKE ME!!

so enjoy cheap bitches !!

9. When at school, if you ever need free glue this is what you do. Look underneath your table for some bubble gum some jerk has stuck there. Peel it off and lick it. After that stick it on your paper and glue it in your book. This is very strong glue and gives your book a lumpy texture too.

10. If you have saggy boobs a great place to look through is your grandma's lingerie closet. You can find really good bras here for breast that like to hang. If you find high wasted underwear, this is also a good tip. Tuck your saggy breast underneath the underwear if your breast are capable of doing that. This is good if you don't like the discomfort of wearing a bra.

11. Fishing is a very fun past-time but can suck if no fish be biting that line. So this is what you do, feed your dog a lot of high protein foods such as a large piece of steak and sausages. Take your dog to the river and when he needs to 'do his business' put him over the river and let him release the 'sausages' into the river. After that, fish will rise up from the water due to the unbearable stench of the smell. Catch the fish quickly with a net or if your cheap, I found out that fly-nets are also useful so you can tear that off your window.

12. When you call someone on your mobile phone, let it ring once then turn it off straight away. If they don't answer you won't get charged. They will see a missed call on their mobile and call you back. This way you won't waste money on credit.

13. If you need a work out, walk up an elevator that's going down. But don't be an idiot and block the way for people or else you'll get your hair pulled and face slapped. 'bi keo top gia mien' (tip from bryan he's a cheaper bitch den me lols)

14. When you catch a bus, give the driver a $100 note. He will not have change and let you go on for free.

more to be added ....