Joey (watching old videos of Monica): Some girl ate Monica!!! "
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds. "
Chandler: so how many cameras are actually on you?

Joey: Oh! Sorry... did I get you?
Chandler: NO, you didn't Get me! It's an electric drill! You Get me, you Kill me!

CHANDLER: What are you doing?
JOEY: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
CHANDLER: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
JOEY: That's right! I'm taking the essence.

Joey: But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Rachel: Exactly! Unisex!
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Rachel: No! No, Joey! U-N-I-sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that

Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I'm getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler: When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me

Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!

Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer

Ross: How's Monica?
Phoebe: She's calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you Ross. It doesn't look good.
Joey: Can we see her?
Phoebe: No, your hair looks too good. I think it would only upset her.
Rachel: Oh.
Phoebe: Ross, you can go on in.

Ross: Your moneys mine Greene.
Rachel: Your fly’s open Gellar

Rachel: It’s like all my life people have been telling me “You’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe” but then I thought, maybe I don’t wana be a shoe anymore. Maybe I wana be a… a purse… or a hat………………. NO im not saying I want you to but me a hat, im saying I am a hat…. it’s a metaphor Daddy!

Chandler: You know on second thought gum would be perfection.

Ross: Wasn’t it supposed to be just a fling? Shouldn’t it be…… flung by now?

Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it's *not* that common, it *doesn't* "happen to every guy, " and it *is* a big deal!
Chandler: [pointing] I *knew* it!

Monica: Honey that was a really good idea nailing the boxes to the floor.
Chandler: I didn’t nail the boxes to the floor.
Monica: Oh so you can move them?

Ross: Oh, really? Well, I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: What happened in Atlantic City?
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
Chandler: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude"?
Ross: ...and this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after a while he just goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right. Chandler's not the type of guy just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: You kissed a guy? Oh my God.
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy

Phoebe: Hey. Why isn't it Spiderman? You know, like Goldman, Silverman.
Chandler: Because, it... it's not his last name.
Phoebe: It isn't?
Chandler: No. It's not like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider *man*. You know, like Goldman is a last name but there's no gold man.
Phoebe: Oh, oh okay...
Phoebe: There should *be* a gold man!

Ross: [leaning over and talking to Rachel's lap] I can't wait to play with you all day, and to hear your first words.
Phoebe: [wide eyed] Why are you letting him talk to your crotch that way?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick!"