You know you're Asian if...

1. your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
2. your dad is some sort of engineer
3. your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
4. you ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing
5. you have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
6. you shop 99 Ranch
7. everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from
8. you've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
9. your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
10. you've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
11. your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
12. you drive mostly Japanese cars.
13. you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
14. you've eaten (and possibly enjoy) parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
15. at least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say . . ."
16. you know what bok choy is
17. you've ever gotten little red envelopes around February.
18. piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
19. you hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you. (e.g., Jean- ee - yah! or Mary - yah!).
20. you have NO eyelashes.
21. idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc. . .
22. your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
23. the Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
24. your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
25. at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses
26. your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
27. your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian
28. any random Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
29. your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
30. your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
31. everyone thinks you're good at math.
32. your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's"
33. you like $1.75 movies
34. you like $1.50 movies even more
35. your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.
36. your parents insist you marry within your race.
37. you never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
38. you either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
39. your parents have never kissed you
40. your parents have never kissed each other in public
41. you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents
42. "You want a stereo!?" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
43. people see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate
44. You have to call all of your parents' friends "Auntie" or "Uncle."
45. you have 12+ aunts and uncles
46. at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage

i have nothing to write here so please just ignore this