* The world does revolve around them, they chose the coordinate system
* They know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship
* They have significant figures
* Projectile motion: do I need to say more?
* They know how to apply the right head pressure
* They have taken classes on the motion of rigid bodies
* They know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force
* They know how to dissipate heat due to friction
* No "couple" enjoy a better "moment".
* Engineers do it to specification.
* According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.
* They know the RIGHT HAND RULE!

# You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
# You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
# You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
# You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
# It is sunny and 30 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
# You frequently whistle the theme song to Top Gear.
# You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
# You think in "math".
# You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
# You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
# You have a pet named after a scientist.
# You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
# The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
# You can translate English into Binary.
# You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
# You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
# You are completely addicted to caffeine.
# You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
# You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy".
# When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
# The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
# You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
# The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
# You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
# The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
# You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
# You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
# You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
# You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
# You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
# You have never backed up your hard drive.
# You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
# You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
# You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
# You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
# You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
# Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
# You understood more than five of these jokes.
# You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)

CHUCK NORRIS RENTS VIDEOS AND NEVER REWINDS THEM, EVER.

WHEN CHUCK NORRIS WAS A CHILD, HE MADE HIS MOTHER FINISH HIS VEGETABLES.

EVERY MATHEMATICAL INEQUALITY OFFICIALLY ENDS WITH "< CHUCK NORRIS".

IF YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT'S BECAUSE CHUCK NORRIS SPARED YOUR LIFE.

CHUCK NORRIS WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE ON A UNICYCLE TO PROVE TO LANCE ARMSTRONG IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL. HE THINKS YELLOW WRISTBANDS ARE GAY.

EVERY DAY IS THE LONGEST DAY OF CHUCK NORRIS'S LIFE, FOR TERRORISTS, THE SHORTEST.

WHAT COLOR IS CHUCK NORRIS'S BLOOD? TRICK QUESTION, CHUCK NORRIS DOES NOT BLEED.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE FORGOT WHERE HE PUT HIS KEYS. HE THEN SPENT THE NEXT
HALF-HOUR TORTURING HIMSELF UNTIL HE GAVE UP THE LOCATION OF THE KEYS.

WHEN CHUCK STARES INTO THE SUN, THE SUN FLINTCHES.

IF IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN, LOOKS LIKE CHICKEN, AND FEELS LIKE CHICKEN, BUT CHUCK NORRIS SAYS IT'S BEEF. THEN IT'S BEEF.

LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT, THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE CONSCIOUS RIGHT NOW IS BECAUSE CHUCK NORRIS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE CARRYING YOU.

JAMES BOND HAS A LICENSE TO KILL. CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T NEED ANY LICENSES.

CHUCK NORRIS' CALENDER GOES STRAIGHT FROM MARCH 31ST TO APRIL 2ND, NO ONE FOOLS CHUCK NORRIS.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE DOUBLE TEAMED A GIRL, BY HIMSELF.

1.6 BILLION CHINESE ARE ANGRY WITH CHUCK NORRIS, SOUNDS LIKE A FAIR FIGHT.

CHUCK NORRIS WAS NEVER ADDICTED TO HEROIN. HEROIN WAS ADDICTED TO CHUCK NORRIS.

WHEN THE KIDS BORN IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY GROW UP THEY WILL NOT
HAVE HEROES, BUT RATHER CHUCK NORRIS. CHUCK NORRIS IS THE ONLY HERO.

CHUCK NORRIS PLAYED RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH A FULLY LOADED GUN AND WON.

WHEN LIFE GAVE CHUCK NORRIS LEMONS, HE USED THEM TO KILL TERRORISTS.

CHUCK NORRIS HATES LEMONADE.

CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T MISS. IF HE DIDN'T HIT YOU IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS
SHOOTING AT ANOTHER TERRORIST TWELVE MILES AWAY.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE WON A GAME OF CONNECT 4 IN 3 MOVES.

YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER. CHUCK NORRIS CAN MAKE HIM DRINK.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE ATE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS. THEY MADE HIM BLINK.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE KILLED SO MANY TERRORISTS THAT AT ONE POINT, THE #5 CIA MOST WANTED FUGITIVE WAS AN 18-YEAR-OLD TEENAGER IN MALAYSIA WHO DOWNLOADED THE MOVIE DODGEBALL.

WHEN CHUCK NORRIS MASTURBATES, ALL WOMEN WITHIN 3 MILES HAVE ORGASMS.

WHEN YOU OPEN A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS, CHUCK NORRIS JUMPS OUT.

SIMON SAYS SHOULD BE RENAMED TO CHUCK NORRIS SAYS BECAUSE IF CHUCK NORRIS SAYS SOMETHING THEN YOU BETTER DO IT.

KILLING CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T MAKE HIM DEAD. IT JUST MAKES HIM ANGRY.

CHUCK NORRIS WOULD VOTE FOR HILLARY CLINTON TO BE PRESIDENT JUST SO HE COULD ASSASSINATE HER.

CHUCK NORRIS DOES THE SUNDAY NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE IN INK.

WHEN GOOGLE CAN'T FIND SOMETHING, IT ASKS CHUCK NORRIS FOR HELP.

IN 96 HOURS CHUCK NORRIS HAS KILLED 93 PEOPLE AND SAVED THE WORLD 4 TIMES.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE?

THERE IS THE RIGHT WAY, THE WRONG WAY, AND THE CHUCK NORRIS WAY. IT'S BASICALLY THE RIGHT WAY BUT FASTER AND MORE DEATHS.



WHY DID THE TERORRIST CROSS THE STREET? TO GET HIT BY A CAR BEFORE CHUCK NORRIS COULD GET HIM.

WHEN CHUCK NORRIS WATCHES A POT, IT BOILS IMMEDIATELY.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE KILLED A GROUP OF SAMURAI WARRIORS WITH ONLY A BALL POINT PEN. THIS LEAD TO THE PHRASE "THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD."

IN KINDERGARTEN, CHUCK NORRIS KILLED A TERRORIST FOR SHOW AND TELL.

IT WOULD ONLY TAKE 1 BULLET FOR CHUCK NORRIS TO KILL 50 CENT.

CHUCK NORRIS HAS BEEN TO MARS. THAT’S WHY THERES NO LIFE ON MARS.

WHEN THE BOOGIE MAN GOES TO SLEEP, HE CHECKS HIS CLOSET FOR CHUCK NORRIS.

CHUCK NORRIS CAN ASSEMBLE THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF AN IKEA STORE WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS OR AN ALAN KEY.

SCISSORS ARE SCARED TO RUN WITH CHUCK NORRIS.

CHUCK NORRIS GOT HELLEN KELLER TO TALK.

PEOPLE WITH AMNESIA STILL REMEMBER CHUCK NORRIS