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* I wish my lawn were emo, then it'd cut itself.

* How do you fuck an emo? * Give it a knife.

* What do you call a crap female emo? * A man.

* How many emos does it take to change a light bulb? * None, they just sit in the dark and cry. * 2: One to change it and one to write a poem about how much they miss the old light bulb.

* Why did the Emo cross the road? * Because his girlfriend dumped him, and he wanted to make this fact evident to passing traffic.

* Did you hear about the emo pizza? * It cuts itself!

* How do you get an emo out of a tree? * cut the rope

* (to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it...") * If you're emo and you know it, slit your wrists!

* When is the only time you wink at an emo? * When you're staring at him through a sniper scope.

* Two emos jumped off a cliff, which one lands first? * Why the fuck would I care?

* I heard the Simple Plan concert didn't go too well, apparently a lot of long haired, glasses wearing and pale kids were crying.

* What do you call a dead emo? * A fucking good start.

* Two people are walking down a street, suddenly an emo is shot and dies as the other emo runs off crying. The first person says "Oh my god, someone just shot that emo! Did you see?", the second person replies "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention, I was too busy reloading my gun".

* What do you call an emos diary? * 1. Their will. * Stupid

* Did you hear about the Emo who miscarriaged? The fetus was removed and they found a knife.

* What do you say to a crippled emo? * Nothing, you already told him once.

* What is the special time of the month called when an emo girl bleeds? * Seeing other people.

* What do you say at an emos funeral? * Good riddance.

* What has 4 eyes, 4 limbs and draws blood? * An emo

* Why can't a female emo perform oral? * The only thing they think about sucking is life.

* What do you call a dead 16 year old emo? * A delayed Miracle.

* An emo walks into a fountain. Better known as a My Chemical Romance concert.

* How do you get an Emo to open up? * give him a knife