Continuing to Live

Continuing to live -- that is, repeat
A habit formed to get necessaries --
Is nearly always losing, or going without.
It varies.

This loss of interest, hair, and enterprise --
Ah, if the game were poker, yes,
You might discard them, draw a full house!
But it's chess.

And once you have walked the length of your mind, what
You command is clear as a lading-list.
Anything else must not, for you, be thought
To exist.

And what's the profit? Only that, in time,
We half-identify the blind impress
All our behavings bear, may trace it home.
But to confess,

On that green evening when our death begins,
Just what it was, is hardly satisfying,
Since it applied only to one man once,
And that one dying.

Philip Larkin

Private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Hotel bedroom, Japan:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Doctor's surgery, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Zoo, Hungary:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Resaurant, Nairobi:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Men's lavatory, Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

Poster:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

Maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

Cemetery
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Restaurant menu, Switzerland:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

Bar, Tokyo:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Temple, Bangkok:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.

Hotel bedroom, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel bedroom, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Hotel, Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery):
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

From the Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

Newspaper, East Africa:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Black Forest, Germany:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED

Laundry, Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Hotel bedroom, Moscow:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Dentist's advertisement, Hong Kong:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Airline, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt your wearing?
A charity shop, tis where all the best clothes hang out.

How many bathrooms are in your house?
2

Can you throw a football?
Yes but what's the point?

Does anyone in your family have tourettes?
No

What time is it?
Half six.

Have u ever killed an animal?
I killed a fish. It was tough going. Damn my veggie nature.

Who are you currently dating/liking?
The Shaunmeister. He had a flash car and a nice hairy face. I just want to steal both really.

Do you like the smell of vanilla?
Yes, I like it and I smell of it.

Whats the closest thing to you thats orange?
The mouse pad. It has a leopard on it too. It informs me that leopards will carry their kill into trees and they are spotted because they want to be rockabilly.

Whats your favorite sport to play?
Tonsil tennis.

Who is jealous of you?
No one. Except maybe Michelle. She wants my amazing ability to pun on the spot about portraits of her niece.

Do you like nailpolish?
Yes, black & red mostly.

Can u lick your elbow with your tounge?
Nope although I have tried. Not as much fun as asking girls to touch their elbows behind thier back though. Hours of fun that.

Who do you look up to the most in your family?
All of them. Except Elayne, she's only five foot tall.

Do you like the smell of new shoes?
Sure why not

Whats your favorite food?
A tea

Do you believe in ghosts? or angels?
A little. Not so much the angels though. They must be crap if they're impressed with Angel Delight.

Do you know anyone named Earl?
No, but it's a nice piercing

What about Alyssa?
Nope

Or Tony?
Tony Fish. He bought me boots and we've never even met. Cool.

How many best friends do you have?
Lots. My friends are all too fabulous.

Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme?
Neither

Save the forest or save the whales?
Can't we do both? Save New Order.

How many lamps are in the same room you're in?
None

What kinda of shoes do you have?
Boots mainly, ranging from new rocks to fuck me (or fuck you) boots.

Do you consider yourself lucky?
Usually

Do you live in a house or apartment?
House

Do you know both your parents?
Yup

Who always says your name wrong?
Some people with certain foreign accents. It's a tough one to get apparently.

Can you tell when people are lying?
Usually

Can you play golf?
Yup but it's crap and so am i

Whats your thoughts on gay couples?
I like them, I think they're good, just like current affairs

Is bush a good president?
Does anyone?

Are politics exciting to you?
Only sexually

Who sits behind you in english?
What?

Have you ever put a lot of thinking into killing yourself?
Nope, just a passing fancy when in the presence of creationists or the like

Which Superhero do you wanna be?
Spider. I don't care if he's not technically 'super'

Whats your 3 Favorite movies?
Little Shop of Horrors, Old Boy, The Crow

Is anyone in your family a chef?
Nope but my dad is a mean cook

Which is better.. Duracell or Energizer?
As long as they keep it vibrating I don't care

Which tastes better?
What, the batteries?