נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т ¢нιℓℓ, ωє ∂єн уααн єαѕу.
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т ¢нσρ gυяℓ, ωє ℓσσк gιяℓ.
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т ѕмα¢к υ, ωє ƒυ¢к υ υρ.
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т gσ тσ α ραяту, ωє gσ αн ∂αη¢є.
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т נυмρ ρєσρℓє, ωє ∂υη ∂єм вσмвσ¢ℓαααт
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т ѕαу ωнαтz ρσρριη, ωє ѕαу "ωααн gωααη؟"
jαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т ѕαу gєт тнє ƒυ¢к συттα нєяє, ωє ѕαу "мσνє уυн вℓσσ∂¢ℓααт ƒяσм уα ѕσ"
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂ση'т ѕαу нє'ѕ gαу, ωє ѕαу "вαтту вℓσσ∂¢ℓαααт вωσу gσ ѕυ¢к уυн мα∂α"
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂σηт ωσяк, ωє נυggℓє..
נαмαι¢αηѕ ∂σηт ѕαу ℓσσѕєя, ωє ѕαу "уυн α ρυѕѕунσℓє"

тнαтz ωну ρєσρℓє ℓσνє ωє ¢υѕ ωє ∂σηт gινє α ƒυ¢к , ωє 100000% נαмαι¢αηѕ тσ ∂є ƒυℓℓєѕт!

GYALS WAT U SAYIN !!

WAT U FINK OF ME ND AWNSER TRUEFULLY

NUFF LOVE

Worth.E

xxxx

No offence Lynn but technically, your life isn't worth insuring.
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Context: Alan is introducing his south-african buisness partner to Lynn.
Quote: This is Lynn. Lynn close your mouth
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You look awful cheery on the first anniversary of your mother's death.
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Context: Alan's giving a talk at a school and is embarrased by his ex-friend who is now the teacher of the class.
Quote: Well... at least I didn't get the lab-assistant pregnant and then never see the child... Back of the net!
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Context: Trying to impress Irish TV producers.
Quote: Der's more to Oireland.. dan dis.
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Context: Alans talking to the Builders in his new house about his marital status.
Quote: I'm divorced... I've got access to the kids but they dont want to see me!
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Context: Michael gives alan a cup of beans.
Quote: Michael: I put a sausage in it for you. Alan: It's like a savoury 99.
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Context: Alan showing up security at Choristers.
Quote: Hello, I'm a communist with a gun, I hate you lot. I've just thrown the royal family off a plane. Can I use your toilet please?
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Im 47, My girlfriend's 33, she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!
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Context: Alan is talking to one builder about the other.
Quote: (yorkshire accent) He thinks I'm a right indecisive tit!
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Context: Alan and DJ Dave Clifton try to score points off eachother again during their link.
Quote: Alan: "And now it's Dave Clifton in his fictional nightclub"
Dave: "Better than sitting in a fictional bath Alan"
Alan: "Not as bad as having fictional listeners Dave"
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Lynn could you have a word with that builder - yesterday his jeans were so far off his backside you could more or less see his anus.
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Context: Alan is eating an apple pie that Lynn has microwaved for him.
Quote: Alan: "How long did you put it in for?" Lynn: "8 minutes." Alan: "It's hotter than THE SUN!"
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Context: When showing how bad the security is at the Counrty Club.
Quote: I'm an arsonist, with a big box of matches - please let me in so I can set fire to your staff. [Gate Opens] Unbelievable!
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