Joanna Ryde
-
Female,
600
- from Finglas in Dublin
- Down for Whatever
- Profile views: 52,744
- Member since: January 2006
- Last active: 4 weeks ago
- www.bebo.com/JoannaRyde
close About Me
- Tagline
- Check this hand coz I'm marvelous!
- Me, Myself, and I
- How's yizer donkeys?
I'm Joanna Ryde! Yeh might recognise me as Alternative Miss Ireland 2007 or from the Podge & Rodge Show or the All Ireland Talent Show or from me web-series Gaffs but then again yeh might not so I'm tellin' yiz about it now amn't I!
I do be around the country doin' numbers although mainly in Dignity in Waterford lately (UP THE DEISE) but I could pop up anywhere!
I'm spearheading the campaign to bring Mosney back! Its called Project Mosney!
I'm doin' computers in the FAS so I've loads going on here!
Check out me website - www.JoannaRyde.com
Follow me blog - www.Blogspot.com/JoannaRyde
Follow me on Twitter - www.Twitter.com/JoannaRyde
Yiz are all MAFIS!! - HOWAYIZ!!
- Look at me videos,
Look at the pictures,
Read random shite,
Leave me a comment - WEBSITE
- www.JoannaRyde.com
- BLOG
- http://JoannaRyde.Blogspot.com
- YOUTUBE
- www.YouTube.com/JoannaRyde
- www.Twitter.com/JoannaRyde
- BOOKINGS AND SHITE
- To book me for the bit of entertainment or DJing or your nephews Barmitzfah contact JoannaRyde@gmail.com or visit www.joannaryde.com
- LEGAL DISCLAIMER!!!
- Joanna Ryde is a fictionalish character. Any similaralities to people what are dead or alive are tough fuckin' luck. Build a bridge. Copyright owned by FL!RT Media unless I stole it but sure don't I steal everythin'! Anyway, if yeh don't like it, yeh can talk to me agent (Gloria Holle), sue me or kiss me arse! Not that I give a fuck. Sero like, I DON'T.
- The Other Half Of Me
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We're a duo!!!
close Blog
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Flush The Toilet lyrics!
Everytime yeh take a piss yeh keep on missing
Yeh soak the fucking bathroom every time you’re pissing
Yeh never shut the door so I have to listen
Yeh always leave stuff on top of the cistern
I have to say at this stage I’ve a pain in me hole
The way yeh always use all the toilet roll
I’m sick of always cleaning up after you
Its always fucking worse when yeh have a poo
I have to wait for ages when you’re going for a shite
I’m standing at the bathroom door for half the fucking night
And when I go to use theres a real disgusting sight
Yeh think that you’d flush the toilet and then turn off the light
If you’re finished with the loo
Yeh better flush the toilet after you
Or you’re gonna stink out the room
And no one else can use it after you
I have to say your poos are really smelly
I can smell it downstairs when I’m watching telly
What in the name of jayzis have you been eating
It nearly makes me sick coz the smell is rotton
I have to wait for ages when you’re going for a shite
I’m standing at the bathroom door for half the fucking night
And when I go to use theres a real disgusting sight
Yeh think that you’d flush the toilet and then turn off the light
If you’re finished with the loo
Yeh better flush the toilet after you
Or you’re gonna stink out the room
And no one else can use it after you
If you’re finished with the loo
Yeh better flush the toilet after you
Or you’re gonna stink out the room
And no one else can use it after you
Now at this stage I’m pissed off
You’re still a smelly bastard
I even bought that spray
Will yeh fucking use it
I have to wait for ages when you’re going for a shite
I’m standing at the bathroom door for half the fucking night
And when I go to use theres a real disgusting sight
Yeh think that you’d flush the toilet and then turn off the light
If you’re finished with the loo
Yeh better flush the toilet after you
Or you’re gonna stink out the room
And no one else can use it after you
If you’re finished with the loo
Yeh better flush the toilet after you
Or you’re gonna stink out the room
And no one else can use it after you1 Comment 762 days
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FLATS OF BALLYMUN!
From a lonely tower block
I heard a youngone calling
Jacinta get in for your tea
Now the youngones shout no more
Coz the flats have hit the floor
Now all that’s left instead is history
Low lie the flats in Ballymun
Where once we looked down on everyone
But the council came around
And they tore them to the ground
And the people all got moved to Popintree
From a lonely tower block
I saw a youngfella throwing
A rock down at a poor gobshite below
But the rocks they fall no more
From the 13th fucking floor
And theres no one left to throw them at but me
Low lie the flats in Ballymun
Where once we looked down on everyone
But the council came around
And they tore them to the ground
And the people all got moved to Popintree
From a lonely tower block
I heard a youngfella shouting
Whats the story for a bit of gear
But theres no more left around
Not an E tab to be found
So they’re all mad off their face on Panadol
Low lie the flats in Ballymun
Where once we looked down on everyone
But the council came around
And they tore them to the ground
And the people all got moved to Popintree6 Comments 1152 days
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D'ya wanna know the story of Joanna?
Howayiz. I suppose I better give yiz all a bit of an introduction to Joanna.
I was born in 1987 in the Rotunda hospital on a freezin' cold night in January. Me ma said only for she was in labour she wouldn't have left the gaff. I was reared in Finglas and me ma Betty and me da Joe were only deadly. I have a big sister Anita, shes 24 and has 2 kids, Pola and Amiya, that she had to a Nigerian fella called Numchuck but he got deported there a while ago coz he was caught with counterfeit Ukrainian money for some reason. I have another sister Wanda thats only a year older than me and a 16 year old brother called Andy. He's a mad youngfella although I'm a bit worried since I caught him using me hair straightener.
3 years ago of a Paddys Night, I met a Swedish fella called Bjorn in what was then Coyote on Dolier Street and he was only mafis. We went for a walk in the Phoenix Park and ended up doin' the business. He gave me his number but it was the wrong one and I ended up not seein' the bastard again. I was left with no knickers and a little baby growin' inside me. On Christmas day, Phoenix Park was born, just after the Only Fools and Horses Christmas special and I love her to bits. It meant I had to leave school and never got to do me leavin'. I'm on the dole at the minute and earn a few quid cash-in-hand down the Spar makin' the rolls and I do a bit of wheelin' and dealin' on the side so if you're lookin' for an X-Box 360 then gimme a shout.
I do enjoy a bit of shoppin' (once I can get the auld 5 finger discount) goin' to the pictures and fuckin' Starburst Joosters at people up the front and havin' a mad nigh' out, especially with all the gayers that me sister Wanda works with in Peter Mark.
After winnin' the karaoke competition in the Village Inn in Finglas on New Years night, I'm hopin' to release me first single this year so look out for me. If you don't buy me single, I'll rob your handbag. I'm gonna be enterin' the Miss Finglas competition too coz I'm only mafis so I could make it all the way to Miss World. What can I say, I'm a ryde. The question is though -
ARE YOU A RYDE???2 Comments 1329 days
close Video Box
Joanna Ryde's Gaffs - Episode 26 - Charmin's Apartment Building
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AMI 2009
(40)
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Waterford February 2009
(28)
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All Ireland Talent Show Live
(12)
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QueerID Awards 2009
(43)
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Waterford - New Years 2008/2009
(12)
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Mr Gay Ireland 2008
(49)
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FL!RT Cork October 2008
(7)
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Mr Dundalk 2008
(24)
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FL!RT Cork September 2008
(28)
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FL!RT Dundalk August 2008
(23)
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FL!RT Cork August 2008
(15)
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FL!RT Waterford 11th July
(19)
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FL!RT Cork 4th of July!
(49)
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FL!RT Cork 4th of July (part 2!)
(11)
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FL!RT Galway launch
(45)
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Last FL!RT in Ultimate
(6)
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Cork Pride 2008
(34)
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Bingo May 2008
(16)
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At Home With Joanna
(16)
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Posters and shit!
(13)
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Joanna Art
(5)
Hey hey JoJo :-) ......oooh I get ta give ya your 600th love ya mad ho lol xox
are ya still doing the gay nights in kilkenny????
HI (Joanna Ryde)
Thursday 12th November
Burn beach club presents
SEBASTIEN LEGER
Sébastien Léger is a French house DJ and producer. His singles "Hit Girl", "Hypnotized" and "Aqualight" have become hit dance singles played in clubs across Europe.
For one night only.....
For bookings email info@burnbeachclub.ie
Drinks promotions and loads of quality elecno tunes
Roar......club rules apply.......always drink responsibly...
Doors 10.30pm
Pay at the door event
__________________________________
___
ASLAN LIVE SUNDAY 15TH NOVEMBER
DOORS 8PM
TICKETS ONSALE FROM:
FOOD 4 THOUGHT ON THE HILL IN STILLORGAN, CO.DUBLIN
OR
ZIP DRY CLEANERS IN DUN LAOGHAIRE, CO.DUBLIN
OR MON, WED, THURS, FRI & SAT NIGHT @ BURN BEACH CLUB FROM 9PM
EMAIL: info@burnbeachclub.ie
CALL: 0860569766
Hey, If you're around Kilkenny this Saturday, you can catch us in Dignity Bar. We're an all girl band from Limerick. Check out our page for details!!
Hope to see you there!
Heeeeyya....ramdom love for ya ...mwah X
haha x
i say u have other lads to mind u x
lol x
Yeah i know x bet u miss me haha xx
Hey hows u, hope things are going great for u and your keeping busy.
hey hun x
how was pride after i left x
hope u had fun ttyl hun x
haa i missed it last night
did i miss much??
how did IGT go??
LoOvee
tell the truth u...u did steal the llamas,
lol be 1st ones in fineglas like...
bring back awfully haunted......
love u jojo..xxxxxx
heard you played hot&cold for me
deadly
x x x
fab babes
talksoon
hey you....
xxxxxxxx
when is this years dragiators??
has it cum & gone..??
xxxxxx
hey gawjus
hows u
hey baby fanx for acceptin
wow ur gawjus
hows u
KILKENNY PRIDE 2009
23/09/09 - 27/09/09
Kilkenny’s 1st Pride Event brought to you by PINK Kilkenny
Wednesday 23rd Sept 09
PINK PRIDE MOVIE & POPCORN NIGHT
"Mama Mia Sing Along”
Venue: “The Set”, Langtons, John St @ 9pm, Free Event !
Thursday 24th Sept 09
Have you got the “PINK FACTOR” Kareoke Competition
Venue: Dignity2, Parliment St @ 9.30pm, Fantastic Prizes
Friday 25th Sept 09
POP ELECTRIK DRAG SHOW
Venue Dignity2, Parliament St @ 9.30pm
Saturday 26th Sept 09
PINK PRIDE SPORTS DAY
Rainbow League Basketball Tournament
Venue: The Watershed Sports Complex @ 2pm
Fun Sports @ Castle Park at 3.30pm – 5.00pm
SINEAD MULVEY LIVE IN DIGNITY2 @ 9.30PM
Venue: Dignity2, Parliament Street
Entrance Fee €5.00
Sunday 27th Sept 09
PINK PRIDE HANGOVER SUNDAY
Hangover Lunch in Langtons @ 1pm
Games Sunday in Dignity2 all afternoon.
MONSTER BINGO in Dignity2 @ 9.30pm
For up to date info keep an eye on www.gaykilkenny.com X
heya hun how are u
fair play to ya yeah im on the face book
have sum random red stuff joanna babes xxxxxxxxxxxx