There is this girl who is sixteen, she is the youngest of four children lets call her Jess. She has a question that she wants to be answered ‘how can she be alone in a room full of people?’ This is her story, her thoughts and the way she feels.



How can I be in this big, bright, humming feeling room with the light shining through big opened windows casting shadows on the colourful furniture with people I know talking, laughing and having fun together and feel like I don’t belong, that I’m an outsider? I know theses people; they are my family and friends. I have to belong so why do I feel I don’t belong?
"I think it’s because I don’t belong mentally."



I have my whole life been the girl at the back of the room of people longing to belong. I hear these people talking, getting on wonderfully, and enjoying each others compony.



A year ago I was a completely different girl; I was the girl who let people do what they wanted to do, be used. I was the girl who used to paint, not any old painting of a sunset but of myself, This painting showed what I thought I should of have been, happy all the time, without a care in the world.



One day the painting became washed away with tears. This girl no longer wanted to be who she was showing the world so she decided to start fresh, to wash the old away, and start a new painting of her life.
Always being the girl at the back of the room, whilst everyone else was having fun Jess decided enough is enough and she needs to let people know how she feels, that she does not belong!



Jess starts to write her most inner thoughts down, she starts to pour her heart and soul out hoping that when it’s all written down and she has shown someone she will feel better. She will be able to show her family and friends how she feels hoping she will no longer feel this way that she will no longer be alone.



Jess decides she will give this letter of her most inner thoughts and feelings to the one person she knows she can trust and will understand her! She gives this incredibly descriptive letter of every thought and feeling to the guy who means everything to her, he happens to be her best friend.
This boy who has known this girl for so long reads her heart felt letter of her pain and feelings and is not able to understand whilst Jess feels this way he has never noticed, no one had!



This boy, her best friend goes and sees her and he holds her in his arms embracing her, telling her how sorry he is for not noticing her pain and that he wants to help her feel better, to feel like she belongs again!

NaNnY wEnT tO HeAvEn, BuT i NeEd HeR HeRe ToDaY,
My TuMmY hUrTs Nd I fElL dOwN, i NeEd HeR rIgHt AwAy,
OpErAtOr CaN yOu TeLl Me hoW tO fInD hEr In ThIs BoOk?,

Is HeAvEn In ThE YeLlOw PaRt, I dOn'TkNoW wHeRe To LoOk.,
I tHiNk My MuMmY nEeDs HeR ToO, aT NiGhT i HeAr HeR cRy.,
I hEaR hEr CaLl HeR nAmE sOmEtImEs, BuT i ReAlLy DoN't KnOw WhY,
MaYbE iF i CaLl HeR, sHe WiLl HuRrY hOmE tO mE,

Is HeAvEn VeRy FaR aWaY, iS iT aCroSs ThE sEa?,
ShE hAsNt BeEn GoNe A lOnG, lOnG tImE, bUt ShE nEeDs To CuM hOmE nOw!,
I rEaLlY nEeD tO rEaCh HeR, bUt I sImPlY dOnT kNoW hOw,
HeLp Me FiNd ThE nUmBa PlEaSe, Is It LiStEd UnDeR "HeAvEn"?,
I CaRnT rEaD tHeSe BiG, BiG wOrDs, YoU wOuLd FiNk I aM oNlY sEvEn,
I'm SoRrY oPeRaToR, i DiDnT mEaN tO mAkE yOu CrY,
Is YoUr TuMmY hUrTiNg ToO, oR iS tHeRe SoMeThInG iN yOuR eYe?

If I cAlL mI cHuRcH mAyBe ThEy WiLl KnOw,
NaNnY sAiD wHeN wE nEeD hElP, tHaTs WhErE wE sHoUlD gO,
I fOuNd ThE nUmBa To Mi ChUrCh TaCkEd Up On ThE wAlL,
ThAnKyOu OpErAtOr, IlL gIvE tHeM a CaLl.