Walk up to random people in the street and shyly ask in a baby like voice "will *you* be my fwend?"

Go to the Bingo, when you win, jump up and shout " HA!, I conquer you elderlies!"

While on the bus, eat a whole lettuce as if it were an apple.

When talking to someone, look over their shoulder and suddenly freeze, look terrified as you say "Don't. Move." start to back away. say " I'll get help" and run off. (my fav one hehe!!)

Put your head in a candy floss machine...see what happens.


Go around saying, "I'm sane, I swear."

Stare at a spot in the ceiling and see how many other people you can get to do it.

Watch a black and white movie, mute it, and make up your own dialogue for it.

Take the powder from Fun Dip, throw it at people and say, "Evil begone!"

Tell people they have dead spiders following them.

Read the dictionary backwards and look for any hidden messages

Write "out to lunch" on your forehead.

Bill your doctor for the time you spent in the waiting room.

Eat soup with chop-sticks

Scare random people in the street with the Scream Mask.

Smash glasses and glue them back together.

1. Firstly, never drink or do drugs and stay a virgin. Boring!

2. Never say that you'll be right back because you won't be.

3. Always make sure that your car has a fresh battery so it will start immediately in times of crisis.

4. When you're searching a house because you think there's something dangerous there, for God's sake turn the bloody lights on!

5. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

6. Big breasts and blonde hair are a death-wish.

7. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

8. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.

9. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

10. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

11. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, that was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.

12. Always check the back seat of your car.

13. If on a stormy night, you find a window open which you thought was previously closed, do not close it. It may be your only way out when whatever has come in through it is chasing you.

14. If you come into possession of a strange old artifact and any exotic person (old wizened oriental, gypsy, indian medicine man) warns you to do/not do something, do not do just the opposite in order to demonstrate how silly they are.

15. Anniversary nights of executions, horrible murders, or terrifying rituals should be viewed with fear. Especially on the spot where the event took place. Most especially on even century anniversaries. And certainly if you or a friend is somehow descended from one of the original participants.

16. If your friend turns into a demon and then suddenly turns back to normal, kill them because they are not normal!

17. Kill the person in the group who suggests that you split up. They will eventually get you killed.

18. Never be with the group who plays vicious pranks on the shy strange new kid, those pranksters will soon meet their doom and often in a horribly gory way.

19. Go ahead and slap the screaming hysterical girl, she will be the one to distract everyone when there really is danger.

20. Nothing is ever over if it is still night-time.

21. Take heed of all warnings from animals and children. They usually know more than you do.

22. Never run to the top floor of any building if you are being chased by a maniac/monster. Your only way out will be to jump.

23. Never publicly announce your plans for the future if you make it out alive. It guarantees that you have no future.

24. Never under any circumstances run upstairs if you are being chased.

25. If you find Brad Pitt dressed as a vampire, dont forget to forward him my email address! area51newmexico@hotmail.com

26. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

27. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum or any other house of the dead.

28. Do not take *anything* from the dead.

29. Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine.

30. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, smoldering irons, band saws or any (possibly deathly) device made from deceased companions.

31. Listen closely to th

SIGNS U'VE HAD TO MUCH COFFEE!!!!


1. Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

2. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

3. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

4. You sleep with your eyes open.

5. You watch videos in fast-forward.

6. You lick your coffeepot clean.

7. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

8. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

9. You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

10. You can jump-start your car without cables.

11. Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low.

12. You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.

13. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

14. You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

15. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

16. Instant coffee takes too long.

17. You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

18. You name your cats Cream and Sugar.

19. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

20. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an IV hookup.

However research shows that apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning!
but that will never make me stay away from the coffee...its to good!!lol!