1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY BAG/COAT IS.

2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY ASS
WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE HOTEST DANCE MOVE AROUND

3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY
BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO THE LOO, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. BURGER KING CHEESE BURGER ON THE FLOOR, PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT (AS I FEEL IF I DONT GET FOOD ASAP I MAY DIE OF STARVATION)

6. I START DRUNKEN BONDING TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO
MUCH.

7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN CLAPPIN MY HANDS EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO ME

9. I HONESTLY BELIEVE I HAVE DEVELOPED A CLOSE FRIENDSHIP WITH MY NEW BEST FRIEND THE DJ AND REFUSE TO LEAVE HIM ALONE UNTIL HE PLAYS "MY SONG"

10. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH (PERHAPS SCORIN) APPEARS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE......HOWEVER WHEN THE LIGHTS AT THE END OF THE NIGHT OR PHOTOS DEVELOPED.....WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.....WE ARE TALKIN SHREK

11. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING
OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.........

12. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP
THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

13. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

14. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST
WHITE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE VODKA.

15. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN
FLOOR

16. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE
WRONG WAY BUT..." OR ELSE SPILL EVERY SECRET/GOSSIP I HAVE EVER BEEN TOLD

17. I FAIL TO CHANGE INTO PJ'S ON MY ARRIVIAL HOME SAME APPLIES TO TAKING OFF MAKE-UP...MORNING AWAITS

My mum - Big Linda yeeoooo!!!!
My dad - Big John lol!!!
My brother - That would be stevy!!!!
My sister - SUZIE!!!
My twin - Nearly Suzie!!!!
My uncle - Harvey!!!
My auntie -RYAN G!!!
My cousin - RYAN G!!!!!
My brother-in-law - tibbles LOL!!!!
My sister-in-law - socks /tink LOL!!!!
My best friend - STEPH AKA BABY HIPS!!!
My girl friend - EMMMMMMMM!!! LOL!!
my boy friend - no need for them
My bit on the side - Pass!!!
My worst enemy - The bitch!!!
My neice - The wee devil - ERIN!!!!
My nephew - Matthew!! ha ha ha
My guardian angel - Jesus
My drinkin partner - Everyone from Annalong an AHOHO!!
My personal drinks maker - GORDON HA HA HA HA
My fairy god mother - Tibbles
My pet dog - Ryan G!!
My pet monkey - Ryan G!!!
My il b ther for you friend - Steph + Aine + Lyndsay!!!
My sexi gal - Too many to name!!!
My god mother - Tony!!!
My god father - Lost!!!
My beautiful flatmate - Steph xox
My biatch - Tara Dunger!!! ha ha ha
My chillin bbz - Hips!!!
My funky kik ass person - Suzie!!
My hot admirer - Il Pass!!!
My super cool person - My wee sis clare!!
My cleaner - Tony!!!
My krazee m8 - Gordy!!!!
My really dead on mate - PATRICK XOX
My friend 4 life - STEPH AGAIN!!!
My toy thing - dat wu be tellin !!!!

sainsbury's flavoured condoms...making life taste better

tesco's condoms...every little helps

nike condoms...just do it

peugeot condoms...the ride of your life

New galaxy textured condoms...why have rubber whn you can have silk?

kfc condoms...they're finger licking good

malteser's condoms.... they melt in your mouth not in your hands

abbey national condoms...because life is complicated enough

coca cola condoms...the real thing

duracell condoms...you can just keep going and going

pringles condoms...once u pop u cant stop

burger king...home off the whopper

goodyear condoms....for a long ride go wide

muller light condoms...so much pleasure but wheres the pain?

flash condoms...just sit back relax and let Flash do all the hard work

halifords condoms...we go the extra mile

andrex condoms...soft strong and very long

renault condoms...size really does matter!

carlsberg condoms...dnt do condoms bt if dey did deyd probably the best condom in the world

pepperami condoms...its a bit of an animal

winders condoms....screaming 4 more,

pc world's condoms...we're with u every step of the way

halifax condoms...who gives you extra?

charmin condoms....break the habbit

telletubbie condoms.... again again!!!

cadburys condoms...give in2 your happiness

red bull condoms....gives u wings

cadburys creme egg flavoured condoms...how do u eat yours?

craig david flavoured condoms...wots ur flava?

heinz salad cream condoms...its all goin on!

sure crystal condoms....unbeatable against white marks

uci cinema condoms.....coming soon

lynx condoms...because you never know when

treseme condoms .....used by professionals

insette condoms....for that extra hold

gillete condoms....the best a man can get

churchill car insurance condoms....ooooo yeshhh!

kit kat condoms....have a break