SING IT GIRLS!!!! At first i was afraid i was petrified, When you sed you had 10 inches, lord i almost died! But i spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that i grew strong, and knew that i could take you on... But there you are, another lie, i woz ready for a big mac and you brought me a french fry! I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream should have known there was no anoconda lurking in those jeans! Go on now - go, walk out the door, dont you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4! Wernt you a prat to think i wouldnt find you out? Dnt you know were only joking when we say size doesnt count? I will survive, I will survive! Cos as long ad i have batteries, my sex lifes gona thrive! I will always have good sex, with a handful of latex! I will survive! I WIL SURVIVE! YEH HEY!

6 Truths Of Life:

1: You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tounge.

2: All idiots after reading the first truth try it.

3: The first truth is a lie.

4: Your smiling now, because your an idiot.

5: You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6: Theres still a stupid smile on your face.

Things I hate about everybody....


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time .... I know where my watch is mate, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken burger gets blank looks...........Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright? Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off

15.when someone calls you on your landline and asks " are you at home?" no im in iraq i jus took my landline wiv me

16.when people put pictures and write "im ugly", "im fat" because if you were, why would u put them on in the first place!!!





Jooooooke!!!