*Michael Jackson's death has just been announced on the news*
Katie: "Rianna got me such a good Michael Jackson t-shirt...I need to get her one now. I need to beat it."

Robert: "You know when I was dead..."
*laughter*

Rianna: "Is that a hedgehog? Eww!" *turns car around and stops* "No it's just poo..."

You, Me & Dupree: "It's your name with ness on the end!"

*Rianna picks up TV Magazine*
Rianna: "Who reads magazines about the tv!?"

Katie: "Do you have your dildo"
Rianna: *sarcastically* "Oh I forgot to pack that"
*laughter*
Rianna: "Oh! I need batteries!"

Ryan: "Rianna, the only thing girly about you is that you're a girl..."

Ryan: "Rianna you need to pack"
*Rianna makes lunch*
Ryan: "Rianna, you still need to pack"
*Rianna picks up Bop It*
Rianna: "I need to pack"

Katie: "Rob, you're so immature!"
Rob: "I know you are but what am I!?"

Ryan: "I'm going to buy a ukelele..."

*everyone writes/draws in Ryan's notepad*
Ryan: "Don't you dare turn the page!"
*James turns page and draws OGC logo*
Ryan: "That's it! You've all lost drawing priviledges!"

Rianna's Mum: "Rianna! There's a good comedy on BBC2!"
Rianna: "What is it?"
Rianna's Mum: "I don't know...I can't remember!"

Random Black Gang Guy: "You better watch out..."

I've been around the world
I've seen a million things
I've fought in countless wars
And dined with many kings.

I've seen the northern lights
I've counted all the stars
Been in 'n' out of Saturn's rings
And started life on Mars.

I'm fluent in every language
I've tasted each cuisine
I've stayed in every palace
And lived what people dream

I was there when it began
And I know when it will end
My only enemy is man,
Yet you are still my dearest friend.

I invented evolution
I gave you your first breath
I was there at your conception
And I'll be there at the time of death

Marcus Pete Robert Welfare

So there's this neutron, right? And he walks into a bar all like "HEY MUTHAFUCKA! YERMUM'S MY GOLDMINE! How much for a drink in this shit hole of an excuse of a bar...min?"

Yeah, the bartenders all like..."Shiiiit, I can't ask this guy to pay...he's a fucking neutron mannnnn! What am I gonna do? Shit! Shit! SHIIIIT!"

Obviously, the neutron gets a bit pissed off waiting for a reply, so he's all like "HEY MOFO! I ASKED HOW MUCH FOR A MUTHAFUCKIN' DRINK YA CUNT! I'LL PURE CHIB YE IF YE DINNAE ANSWER ME MIN!"

Then he shoots the bartender IN THE FACE.

Then the bartender falls over. He appears to be dead.

Several (really dramatic) minutes pass. In a dramatic sort of way. And all this time, this neutron's looking tough and pointing its gun at folk and getting EVEN MORE pissed off cause it can't CHARGE around!

All of a sudden, the bartender GETS THE FUCK UP and says to the neutron "OI FUCKTWAT! FIR YOU, NO CHARGE!" and he throws a meat cleaver at the neutron. It hits your mum, cause she has her own gravitational field and all that.

But my mum savagely deflects the meat cleaver because of her sheer mumness! Her indestructibility is rivalled only by the magnitude of YOUR MUM'S FACE! (Which is buried somewhere in that field btw...I think, I can't quite remember where I buried her face after I severed it from her mutilated corpse...)

Anyway, the neutron suddenly sprouts an amazingly amazing superman cape, and flies through the skies of Yermumsajew-ville at speeds approaching that of photons in a magnetic field...of doom!

The electron beams from his eyes and the fire quarks from his arse were more than enough to terrorize your mum's severed body parts that are the only inhabitants of Yourmumsajew-ville!

However, the neutron turns out to be a SLOW NEUTRON, and is hardly moving at all - fitting, as photons do bugger all when placed in a magnetic field too! And my mum gets up again (with all the different body parts reuniting) as ZOMBIE MUM and slowly lurches after the slow neutron, terrorising the streets of Yermumsajew-ville... but not nearly as much as YOUR MUM'S FACE would do, even without the zombieism!

Suddenly, with a burst of activity, the zombie grabs the slow neutron's foot and hangs on for all it's worth. It groans a warning to the neutron...:

"I ISH A DEAD ZOMBIE MUM OF DEAD-LIKE DEATH AND I'M GONNA EAT YOUR STRANGE QUARKS YOU LITTLE SON OF AN ATOM!"

Almost-dumbstruck, the neutron mumbles only one singular, isolated, itsy bitsy, amazingly miniscule, ridiculously under-sized, sizeally challenged word:
"Jew?"

Suddenly! Ryan's mum's amazing face of destiny appears in the middle of Yourmumsajew-ville! And thus commences the battle of Hahaeyerapedyermaw...

The HORRENDOUS and EVIL Eye that raped Yermaw (a small man who lived in a bungalow on the outskirts of Yourmumsajew-ville) quickly won the battle of HahaEyerapedYermaw, causing great mirth amongst the two onlookers. After that, the zombie and neutron wandered off to a (different) bar to get a few pints and talk about their adventures of bravado and sex to each other.

Meanwhile, in his evil rooftop lair, Henry (also known as the Eye that raped Yermaw...) was hatching a plan with which to kill Ryan for his bad physics jokes.

However...Ryan quickly learned of the hatching of Henry's plan from its strange, Yoshi-like metaphorical egg! So, he dispatched his super-duper-cool sidekick, the radioactive cat with eighteen half-lives, against Henry and his fiendish egg!

Using sonic powers of destruction, Ryan (coupled with the radioactive cat with eighteen half-lives) raped Henry in the face...thus deeming his hatched plan a complete and utter FAILURE!

Meanwhile, in that different bar...the neutron had a sudden relapse of the gay variety, and was left crippled from the up quark down. Due to her sudden loss, Steve's zombie mum came back to life and wept solemnly for the neutron, who just so happened to crash into a nearby helium nuc