1) That's not right ......................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.............................. .. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man ................................ Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse ............................... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? .................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table .............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift ..............Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here .................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ............. Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight ..................... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile ............. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great .................................. .. Fa Kin Su Pah

The Ledge Tht Is Smeato 9 days ago


1. A cobra bit John Smeaton's leg.After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died

2. John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton

3. John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone

4. Superman wears John Smeaton Pyjamas!

5. John Smeaton isn't afraid of the dark........the dark is afraid of John Smeaton

6. Smeaton doesn't read books.. He just stares at it until he gets the information he wants.

7. Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience

8. John Smeaton never re-treats, he just attacks in the opposite direction

9. John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in two moves

10. John Smeaton went into Burger King and asked for a Big Mac... He got one

11. We don't care if our girlfriend thinks about Smeaton during sex.... We do too!

12. When John Smeaton has sex with a man it isn't beause he is gay, it is because he has ran out of women!

13. John Smeaton masturbates over a picture of John Smeaton only!

14. John Smeaton lost his virginity before his Dad did!

15. Smeaton does not sleep...He only waits.

16. John Smeaton is not hung like a horse...Horses are hung like John Smeaton!

17. When Smeaton jumps into a river he does not get wet.... The water gets "Smeatoned".

18. Did u know that Smeaton was the Fourth Wiseman!

19. John Smeaton recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beveridge... This is known as Red Bull !

20.If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: John Smeaton!

21. On the 7th day, God rested.... John Smeaton took over.

22. If you want a list of John Smeaton's enemies. Just look in the extincted species list.

23. John Smeaton has never blinked in his entire life... Never

24. John Smeaton owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1993 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

25. John Smeaton does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

26. John Smeaton is Luke Skywalker's real father.

27.John Smeaton actually died 5 years ago... but death was to scared to tell him.

28. The boogey man checks under his bed for John smeaton at night.

29. Did you know that John Smeaton's tears can cure cancer?....Shame he never cries.

30. John Smeaton has counted to infinity...twice

31. Guns don't kill people. Smeaton does

32. The leading causes of death in the Uk are: 1.Heart Disease 2. John Smeaton 3. Cancer

33. John Smeaton is the reason that Wally is hiding.

34. John Smeaton doesn't wear a watch.. HE decides what time it is.

35. John Smeaton gave Mona Lisa that smile ... =)

36. John Smeaton can slam a revolving door!

37. John smeaton does not get frost bite... John Smeaton bites frost!

38. John Smeaton once ate a whole cake before his freinds could tell him there was a stripper in it!

39. When John Smeaton was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he flykicked the place so hard it became Burger king.

40. John Smeaton can divide by zero.

41. John Smeaton grinds the coffee with his teeht and then boils the water with his own rage!

42. If you Google search "John Smeaton getting his arse kicked" you will get zero results. It just doesn't happen.

43. It takes John smeaton 20 minutes to watch for 60 minutes.

44. John Smeaton once swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills....He blinked.

45. Superman was watching the news one night when a video showing john Smeaton killing a terrorist started showing.... He cried himself to sleep that night.

46. John smeaton can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.. at night.

47. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is John Smeaton.

48. John Smeaton CAN believe its not butt

How to make a girl smile....
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone.