Go to the urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the definition it gives you.

1.Your name? stephen
Greek in origin, I've come to the conclusion that Stephen is just about the coolest male name. Whether it's prnounced 'Stef-an' or 'Steve-en' doesn't matter, it's just awesome.
Steph and Stevie are also the coolest nicknames.
Some famous Stephens include Stephen King, Stephen Fry, and Stephen Hawking.

Stephen is an awesome name.

2. Your age? 17
The right age to start having sex, according to Chef on South Park
Chef: "The right time to start having sex is 17."
Sheila: "So you mean 17 as long as you're in love?"
Chef: "Nope, just 17."
Gerald: "But what if you're not ready at 17?"
Chef: "17, you're ready."

3. what should you be doing now? Masturbating
Self-gratification. The act of "playing" with your genitals, for sexual excitement/pleasure; usually to orgasm.

Can also be accompanied by watching/reading/listening to arousing material e.g Porn, films, novels...

No matter what your gender/age/race, people masturbate. Some people do it everyday and more, some people do it when they don't have a sexual partner (these people are in the minority).

Female: Either stroking/rubbing, caressing (vigorously or not) the clitoris, or using long, phallic like objects to insert inside the vagina, and rubbing it back and forth.

Male: Stroking, rubbing, caressing, apparently also 'slapping' the erect penis.
I started masturbating since when 12 (yeah, I'm sure you wanted to know that) since then I have masturbated at least once a day, I am female.

4. favorite colour? pink
slang reference to the vagina

5. current town? bangor
Birthplace of Paul Bunyan, Bangor is a small city in Maine full of people that don't know how to drive correctly.

6. month of your birthday?october
Tenth month of the year, and also the month of the Libra. Opal is the beautiful birthstone for October. Very exciting month. Fall takes effect, columbus sailed the ocean blue, and you can give a treat or get your azz tricked all in this month.

7. Last person you talked to? tania
this word mean a really pretty girl that falls in love with guys that are sweet and cute with pretty eyes.

8. last thing you drank? tea
A drug stereotypically popular in England. Comes from India or China. Sold in brightly coloured boxes advertising its healthy properties. Highly addictive. Massive advertising campaigns on TV and billboards.
Responsible for the Britiah Empire, but superceded by coffee in the American Empire, due to coffee's more intense hit. Universally drunk by English people.
The best way to drink it is in a mug, with milk and two sugars. Some people only have one, but that's just being in denial. Two sugars or none, that's my motto. Or even worse, one and a half. Come on, who are you fooling? Some people get really kinky and drink it BLACK. NO milk, NO sugar, NO hope. No way. Simply Wrong.

I would recommend undertaking tea addiction. Luckily it is available at every corner store, at very reasonable prices. You may have seen adverts on TV, e.g. "Yorkshire Tea.. the way tea USED to be." Yeah, back in the days before the evil American Empire. When it was the British Empire instead.Tea is one of the best things ever, I love it. I'm drinking it now.

yeooo comment bitches !

Name SIX things you did in the past three days
slept
ate
drank
xbox
geek stuff (Y)

1. Last conversation:
well your mum just leavt , didnt do much talking though

2. Last Peircing :
ear

3. Last phone call:
i cannot in my right mind remember

4. Last text message:
Tania

5. Last song played:
wheels by the almighty Foo Fighters

6. Last bubble bath:
dont think ive ever had one

7. Last time you cried:
if only i knew

8. Last meal:
some toast

1. Have you ever dated someone twice?
yeoooo

2. Have you ever been cheated on?
more than likely

3. Have you ever bought condoms?
what boy hasnt ?

4. Have you ever kissed someone & regretted it?
ask someone else that question could give you a list

5. Have you ever fallen in love?
dude...

6. Have you ever lost someone?
yes.

7. Have you ever been depressed?
when your mum said she wouldnt be round tomoro night

8. Have you ever been drunk and thrown up?
who hasnt ?

List SIX people you can tell pretty much anything to
Ben
Murray
JT
Nathan
Beth
Your mum

List THREE favorite colors
-Red, black and erm i wanna say blue

SO FAR IN 09…

Been to school - oh aye .
Made a new friend- oh aye .
Fallen out of love - .
Done something you swore never to do - oh aye
Laughed until you cried - oh aye
Went behind your parents back - oh aye
Found out who your true friends were - oh aye
Lost Someone You Really Had Feelings For- not really

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF……

1. Bush?
nah has to be trimmed

2. Gay Marriage?
well as long as their not trying to get me "involved"

5. Do you have a crush?
a crush is a bit small ? but cheryl cole i would

6. Who is the best hugger that you know?
do you want me to name and shame ?

7. Do you believe in love at first sight?
nope

8. Is there something you want to tell someone?
oh aye

9. What brand of shirt are you wearing?
nike (united top)

10. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
oh aye

11. Do you have “A thing” for anyone on your top friends?
oh aye

12. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
meh

13. Do you wanna change your name?
frankenstein sounds good

14. What did you do for your last birthday?
lol dont remind me

15. What time did you wake up today?
well i never slept ?

16. What were you doing at midnight last night?
as in last last ngiht or 3 hours ago ?

17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do:
DRIVE

18. Last time you saw your dad?
good question..

19. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself
im too lazy

20. Which hand do you like better?
left for some reason

21. What are you listening to right now?
some old shit on kerrang

22. Have you ever donated money to a good cause?
well i would say your mum is a good cause

23.Have you ever talked about someone behind their back?
i tend not to gossip/bitch

24. Least favorite month?
january is far too cold

25. What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone?
lol i dont think i have

26. Who’s getting on your nerves right now?
could name a view

27. Most visited webpage
well considering i just like rebooted my laptop its bebo . cringe

28. Would you help your best friend fight if he/she is losing?
well more than likely it would be me fighting lol

29. Coke or Pepsi?
Coca cola

30. What’s the worst day of your life?
cant tell you tht

31. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week?
yep....

32. Do you disagree with a lot of things?
yeah i tend to disagree on everything just to be unique yeah

Jokes

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man\'s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,\" Say, Father, what causes arthritis?\"

\"My Son, it\'s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bath.\" \"Well, I\'ll be fucked,\" the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. \"I\'m very sorry. I didn\'t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?\" \"I don\'t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.\"

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Is God Real?

An atheist professor was teaching a college class at Alabama and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, \"God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I\'ll give you 15 minutes!\" Ten minutes went by.

He kept taunting God, saying, \"Here I am, God. I\'m still waiting.\" He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240 pound football player in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, \"What\'s the matter with you? Why did you do that?\"

The football player replied, \"GOD WAS BUSY; HE SENT ME!\"

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BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward
ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house
training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of
face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and
textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It\'s water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was
them.

SYMPTOM: Don\'t recognize anyone, don\'t recognize the room
you\'re in.
FAULT: You\'ve wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don\'t remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

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Schizophrenia beats being alone.