Me=

Tunney=

Joey=

Conor=

Andy=

Ross=

Rally=

Ward=

Dill=

Creego=

Liamo=

Craig=

Stevie=

Al=

Nathen=

Tarig=

Sammy=

Keith=

Happy=

Shero=

Gareth=

Wallace=

McGoldrick=

Jambo=

# When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

# Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

# Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

# There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

# When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

# Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

# A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

# When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

# Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

# Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

# When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

# How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

# Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

# In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be

# Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

# If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

# Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

# The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

# A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

# Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

# Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

# When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

# While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

# Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

# When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

# When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

# Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

# Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

# Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

# For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

# Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

# When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

# Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

# When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

# Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

# On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

# Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. E

-Harry Potter And The Royal Mail Strike
-Harry Potter And The Gringott’s Bank Job
-Harry Potter And The Over-Hyped Film
-Harry Potter And The Clever Marketing Campaign
-Harry Potter And The Never Ending Stream Of Merchandise
-Harry Potter And The Spinning Grave Of Tolkien
-Harry Potter And The Long Lost Father - Mr. D Vader
-Harry Potter Solves Manchester United Defence Problem
-Harry Potter Repairs The Ozone Layer
-Harry Potter And The Raising Of The Titanic
-Harry Potter And The Lurve Potion No. 9
-Harry Potter And The Dragon’s Breath
-Harry Potter Scores a Hat Trick and wins the World Cup for England
-Harry Potter And The Broom of Doom
-Harry Potter And The Mysteries of Windows 2000
-Harry Potter Solves Third World Debt
-Harry Potter And The Enchanted Cheesegrater
-Harry Potter Launches His Own Cook-in-Sauce
-Harry Potter And The Freak Broom Handle Accident
-Ron Weasley and That Kid With The Scar
-Harry Potter and the Terrible Shock He Receives When Hermione Granger Finally Gets Credit For Saving The Day
-Harry Potter, In All 500 Pages Of This Book, Is Not Once In Mortal Peril
-Harry Potter Does Not Win The Quidditch Cup
-Harry Potter Becomes Rabid and Foams At The Mouth
-Harry Potter Misplaces His Brain
-Harry Potter Murders My French Teacher
-Harry Potter Learns Ron and Hermione's Birthdays
-No One Cares About Harry Potter Anymore, And Harry Likes It This Way
-Will The Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up?
-Breakfast at Harry's
-Harry Potter Reads the Harry Potter Book Series
-Colin Creevey: I Stalked Harry Potter
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Whiskey
-Harry Potter Falls Into Concussion After Draco Malfoy Asks Hermione Granger To Marry Him
-And the Sequel!-Ron Weasley Murdered Draco Malfoy After He Asked Hermione Granger To Marry Him
-Hermione Granger Fails the Sixth Year But Crabbe and Goyle Pass [Frederick Black]
-Harry Potter, Ron Weasley Is Jealous of You But Always Keeps His Mouth Shut and I Don't Think You Are
-Treating This Talented Kid With Enough Respect, He Already Has To Put Up With His Brothers
-Harry Potter Develops His Own Line of Hairspray [Frederick Black]
-Harry Potter and the Unnecessary Long Stupid Predictable Idiodic Stream Of A Title [Tiger8711]