So I read a spectacular blog recently- one by my brilliant pen-friend Matt and decided I should revisit mine.

My last post was thought provoking, but sadly unvisited, which leads me to believe I could potentially write anything I like here and obtain no viewings at all. In an almost Frankensteinian effort I have created a monster- a beast of monotony and disinterest that has evaded any acceptance by the public; an impressive achievement in a time when blogs are the newspapers of the youth and the internet makes my life available at the touch of a button.

It has been 357 days since my last post

In 9 days time it will be a full year (including Feb 29th) since I made my last appeal to the masses.

For those who didn't read it (That is everyone), I decided to create an update on my escape from normality and those targets I placed to better myself.

"So, I have decided with great difficulty to set myself targets.

This time (21:15) on Saturday 23rd August 2008 I shall blog once again, and I shall tell of my successes within these targets.

To begin.

I shall speak semi-fluent Japanese.

I will not still laugh when someone says "Knickers"*

I will already be revising for my exams in 8 months time.

I will know at least one coding language.

I will have updated my bebo profile.

To end.

I will still be alive.

I felt that this is a good target to attempt to achieve; after all- If I'm dead, how will I prove my fluency in Japanese?

g'night.

*Although having learned to control my humour at this word in particular, I reserve my right to giggle at such hilarities as "bubble", "spatula" and "spoon". Maybe a little bit of "muffin" too."


For starters, many of the none of you will notice that this is not the 23rd of August. It is in fact the 14th September. I failed target 0.5 already.

1) I shall speak semi-fluent Japanese.

More Japanese than when I set the target? Yes. Semi-fluent? No. I got an A* at Japanese GCSE, but if linking names in one alphabet to another can be considered fluency, then I am troubled by the ability to express oneself in Japanese.

2) I will not still laugh when someone says "Knickers"

True, I no longer laugh at this word. But to say that it is because of a more MAture Jon would be a lie. I am no more mature, but am instead desensitised to the word. I know longer see any amusement, for in the last year I have head it spoken too many times.

3) I will already be revising for my exams in 8 months time.

Ha! No way.

4) I will know at least one coding language.

Over a year of practicing Java. Still the answer is no.

5) I will have updated my bebo profile.

Nope...

6) I will still be alive.

Just about.

As you can see, of my 6 targets I achieved just 2, and only one of those is a desirable achievement. I am still alive. Give it another year. Maybe then I can achieve something.

Or maybe then I won't be alive.

How depressing would that be? It'd be regression!

*sigh*

Jon

Normality.

Isn't it an ugly word? There it be sat, glaring evilly over my blog like an evil thing does. That is precisely my topic for today. It has been 21 days since my last post, and I therefore, starved of inspiration, have decided to write on something that is so precisely lacking in inspiration that I have achieved nothing. Not much at least.

I have achieved, however, an epiphany. A rather large one at that. Impressed, no?

On pondering this topic, I suddenly encountered one huge emotion- fear. I realised that I am in fact normal, in almost every aspect of the word and this something that truly terrifies me. Its not so much being normal, but its the lack of impact that normality has. It dawned on me that normal people never achieve anything noteworthy and never stand out. I am quite possibly just a face in the crowd and will more than likely die that way. Yes. I am 16, and death is already a frequently recurring aspect of my life. Death is everywhere and is of course, one of my many many rational, and irrational fears.

I am soooo totally normal.
I'm average in all of my classes.
I am 5'8.5 ish. That is a measly 1.5" below average.
I have straight hair.
I'm not fat, I have no muscle.
I do not excel in anything.
I am, you could say, a jack-of-all-trades.
I am, you could say, a master-of-none-of-those-trades.

I seriously reevaluated my life, after much consideration last weekend. It dawned on me that I display nowhere near enough talent to achieve the the job I have always longed for, and will most likely end up a teacher. I appreciate teachers are a necessity, but I don't want to be just another 40 something grumpy man, who tells the kids to tuck in their shirts...

I want to do something.

But what?

Where does one start to be great?

A man, who you may or may not know, (he goes by the name of shakespeare- you may not know who I mean) once said 'some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them'.

What he failed to include were those who don't ever achieve something great, nor how one is to go about gaining this greatness. I am therefore stuck.

I am having a midlife crisis at age 16- which obviously, with any mathematical abiltiy, you should be aware, does not bode well for me.

I don't want to be nothing. I am surrounded by people who will undoubtedly get somewhere in life. There are those who have travelled a long way to get a good education and those so naturally talented and blessed with looks that you can't help feeling that God suffers somwhat from overt-favouritism. I see those with intelligence far greater than my own, and those who are just plain happy with their lives.

These are the people who will go far. These are the people who are born great, destined for greatness or just have greatness in bucket loads thrust somewhat forcefully in their direction.

Then where does that leave me? I'm destined to perhaps be nice? Should I just be happy with that, or strive to maybe thieve some of that greatness from others...

Where should I begin?

You tell me...

Meanwhile, can I borrow some of that greatness?

I recently read an article online about teenage sleep issues.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/200708...

I found it really interesting, being one of the teenagers who suffers from lack of sleep myself. I did, however, find the reasoning somewhat odd. It is, essentially, an article of statistics, existing wholly to further the current negativity towards teenagers. It is quite a hot topic at the moment, and for good reason. Who knows what those chavs will do next?

What concerned me was the reasons which the article suggested for lack of sleep. It blamed TV, internet, music etc- areas of our lives as teenagers which is blamed for everything we do wrong (excepting gang warfare- that's the parent's fault). What I found odd was the way in which the article deliberately skimmed over the things that really keep us up at night.

1) We think. If you think, you don't sleep and that causes us problems.

2) We have to get up early. If I am to get the reccomended 9 hours sleep, I would have to go to bed at 9:30 and fall asleep immediately or be late for school.

3) We worry- most notably about not sleeping and how we will look if we don't get to sleep for the next hour or two.

My point is that why make the article about something it is completely impossible to avoid and that is wholly unrelated to the reasons suggested.

Its sort of like this blog post. It doesn't really exist for any reason other than to promote negativity towards the media which is about promoting negativity towards the media.

What's more- I have done so by proving its point. It is far later than I should be awake, and it is the media which is keeping me up.

What a paradoxial world in which we live...