SoCoDu
-Go to Krystle(claim to know Bucko & Brian)
-Brian O' Driscoll(you followed his career since the 'Rock days...)
-Date a Sothside Irish model preferably one with daddy's cash behind her
-Drive a mini if you're a chick, a Golf GTI if male.
-Claim that your job is more high powered than it really is. i.e. If you answer the phone in a marketing department, pretend you're an exective.
-Lunch in The Gables, Avoca or Itsa Bagel
-Bleach your teeth in Smiles
-Walk the pier
-Talk about having "the fear" on a Sunday, or after a night in Krystle....
-Talk about moving out, but have no intention of it.
-Work in Brown Thomas at any stage of your late teens/early twenties
-Dabble with class A narcotics, but never make it into a habit (pretend you're drunk when spotted in Red Box by your mates who are also blotto on pills)
-Walk your Shitsu through Blackrock Village
-Walk around Dundrum "to kill an hour". Refer to it as "GlumDrum or The Drum"
-Buy clothes in random village boutiques
-Bitch about the price of a latte on Baggot Street
-Secretly read Ireland on Sunday aka "The Renards Weekly", Buy "The Sindo" but only for Barry Egan's page & to see Glenda's latest shoot
-Have an affair with your best friend's boyfriend/girlfriend
-Holiday in Marbella, Portugal or Connemara
-Claim to know/have met Bono
-Buy your Jesus Christ flip-flops for Electric Picnic, book Pod Pad, Have trouble sourcing weed coz you're too old & your drug dealer died several years ago.
-Have a Dart pass but never use it because you prefer to sit in traffic in your BMW
-Keep your electric shaver in your car coz you're just soooo busy....
-Use the word "random &banter" frequently
-Ask people where they went to school
-Grow your hair & say "loike" a lot
-Have an identity crisis by thinking you live in The O.C.
-Throw a birthday party in the style of "My Super Sweet Sixteen", even if your parents have to remortage their house.
-Have a fit if Daddy doesn't buy you a pony/Gucci dress/hire Girls Aloud to sing
-Remenisce about your days in The Pav/UCD bar
-Be good looking simply through the effort you put in- fake tan,highlights,gym,clothes. But really you're maxed out & a sham with no make-up on.
-Be "morto" if spotted in the Merrion Centre with no make-up on.
-Slag off girls that shag around when really you're a right tart yourself
-Lie about the amount of Rock boys you've slept with.
-Own high tech gadgets- a flat screen, the new Nano, a new Nokia...
-Blank potholes in Searsons coz you're not in the mood for random banter
-Jeer at underagers in Leggs, try & get your hole.
-Smack your rugger mates on the arse in the Bective shower rooms with a twisty towel
-High five your mate Gavin for having a huge dick, nickname him Tripod
-Trash at least one free gaff



SoCoDon't
-Cross the river
-Have a child out of wedlock (or several from different men)
-Have en engagement ring from a|wear
-Date the ultimate Northsider, Irish models-YOU KNOW WHO U ARE!!
-Claim the dole or welfare for any of your illegitimate children
-Have a medical card
-Shop on Henry Street
-Drink in your front garden
-Have a mate called Git, Spud or Anto
-Call your baby Rocco, Jay, Britney, Teagan or Brooklyn
-Drink in Temple Bar
-Work in McDonalds EVER!
-Prefer TV3 to RTE
-Ring up late night radio talk shows
-Read The Mail,The Sun or The Star
-Sunbathe on "The Dollyer" i.e. Dollymount Strand
-Befriend your taxi man
-Have at least 2 stray trollies on your road
-Let your kids play in the traffic
-Fight with your neighbours at 2am
-Breed pigeons
-Apply for affordable housing unless it's in Killiney or Dundrum
-Shop in "The Blanch"
-Wait for an early house to open
-Plan to set several tents on fire at Oxygen, tout tickets outside for a heafty sum
-Shave your head (yourself)
-Have a farmers tan around where you weat your celtic jersey
-Have missing/no teeth
-Claim to know loads about current affairs, talk through your arse.
-Walk your pit bull

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