Me-"Rach your driving is after getting shit now that you've a full licence" Rach-"yeah thats cos i don't give a shit anymore!", You know that fella with the thing in his hand and like the sticks in his head is he in New York??" Chris-"the statue of liberty??eh yeah!!Its a woman you tit!" Rach-"is it??I thought it was a thing...like for equality and stuff?" , after eating the pinapple slices from the tin she drinks the remaining juice and then says "mmm tastes like pinapple juice what is it?" "Oh my god guys....did ye know Europe is on the back of the 5 Euro note!!", "Ever drink boiling water..like instead of real water like?", "For fuck sake woman why are your fucking kids on the footpath??They should be indoors!!", "Sadie...you"ve no uteris...you"ve no penis..your an IT...your a THING!", Rachie O to Rachie S. "so did you christen your new bed yet???...Rachie s. "no!!" (goes red)...ten mins later while texting Mark..rachie s." guys how do you spell christen??" rachie o. and kate "ha ha ha ha!!", "Christmas is about Jesus...i mean the Jews have no Jesus...so they"ve no Christmas like", "I must go defish my fanny", "Middleton IS the capital of Poland like"

"Otter, do you have to take your pants off can't you just leave them on?", "Oh god dead on the ground!", "Were there Pound notes oh my god!"...sprays hairspray on her under arm Otter-"Rach thats hairspray you tit!!"..Rach "oh shit really??Oh well better do the other one" tttssss!!Les-"What classifies Asian?" Rach-"Like isn't that if your from countries like China, Japan and Asia like", "okay guys only one person has seen my body okay" Me- "and that was the doctor when you came out of Mir!!" Rach-"No like that was when i was small", "oh my god i just killed a bird i'm bawlin, there was a big bang and loads of feathers, i went back but he was squashed, oh god i'm a murderer Rach!"."oh wouldm't you know you'd like cummy pancakes Kate!", Whispers - "Kate, whats the capital of England???......Is it London..oh i'm wrong aren't i?...oh gd frget about it!", "Am i going up the right one?", "im sooo not wearing the right shoes for this hill!"


"YIELD RIGHT OF WAAY POOOOOLOOOO!!", "These shoes have MRSA...", "Jesus look at all the bacon i got they gave me the whole cow!", "you can't help who you fall in love with...imagine falling in love with your grandad like", "Sadie's promting unprotected sex with her no uteris, puppieees with Murrrrphy, seriously Mam why didn't you get my uteris removed when i was 6 months old??", "awww i've a headache in my eye!", Rach-"Do you've a uteris??" Me-"yeah!" Rach-"well Sadie doesn't so don't rub it in!", Me-"Sadie likes me better!" Rach-"She's my dog, she came from my uteris not yours!", "awww look at that...isn't that just a picture of like......a picture!", "Get off the phone i'm going for a s**t!", me-"i want a swirl it" Rach -"where'd you get them?" Me-"merchants quay" Rach-"Oh right....where do you get McFlurrys so??""Oh Sr Xavier, I love her she brought me into her room to do orals!"

"Yeah Mam where is my Stephen Gately doll??"

1)She strode in the door, exuding the sexual attraction of a tent....by Hugo Boss
2)She was blushing, with a face like a butchers apron....by Hugo Boss 3)
Her voice was deep & husky, like a cat with the sick....by Hugo Boss
4)She had hands as smooth as a carpenters....by Hugo Boss
5)She approached me with the grace of a rubbish truck with a flat tyre....by Hugo Boss
6)Her eyes had become dull & vacant, like a unused handicap parking space in an otherwise full car park....by Hugo Boss
7)Her skin was as a smooth as a secondary counrty road....by Hugo Boss
I noticed her across the room, like a council worker notices an unused landfill site....by Hugo Boss
9)Her face had become all too familiar, much like a traffic cone....by Hugo Boss
10)She had become surplus to my requirements, like a disguarded burger carton....by Hugo Boss
11) That creepy old guy was touching me....by Hugo Boss
12) His shirt seemed strangely familiar, like my grandmother curtains....by Hugo Boss
13)She was runnin like a somalian with a tin beans lookin for the can opener...by Hugo Boss
14) I tried some on the other day in Debenhams but it wasn't that good....by Hugo Boss
15) She danced across the floor, like a dyslexic Russian with the moon in the 7th allignment of Mars....by Hugo Boss
16) Her hair was thick & flowing, like a dog with the mange....by Hugo Boss

1 Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?
6. Give me a nikname and explain why?
7. Describe me in 1 word?
8. what was ur first impression of me?
9. do u still think the same?
10. What reminds u ov me?
11. If you could giv me anything wot wod it b?
12. How well do u no me?
14. would you fuk me?
15. would u kiss me?