Ellie (within only hours of being back at uni - starting early, you see.): I realise I am wearing a velour cardigan, but i actually quite like it, before you say anything.
Kerri: I've been with you most of the day, if I was gonna take the piss I'd have said it by now!

Kerri: Yes, we should start getting ready.
*Kerri dances to the other side of the room*
Ellie: Kerri, the straighteners are there."
*Kerri turns, mid-dance, and dances back again.*

*Kerri burns herself with the straightners leaning to look out the window 'cause she thinks she can see the ice-cream van*
Turns out it was just a bus.
A hotel on wheels, to be precise.

While in the Sociology lecture
Kerri: It's the hulk!! And she has a mini hulk friend!
Ellie: Gee's yer phone!
*Ellie tries to take a picture*
Kerri: That's a video!
Ellie: Aw, shiiiit.

Kerri: I think they're gay.
Ellie: His hair is thinning.
Kerri: They are gay! He's touching him!

In Studio waiting for our Chips and Cheese.
Ellie: Oh it's that woman that's a ray of sunshine...
Kerri: A ray, A RAY I tell you! More like a sting ray!
Ellie: You can get a chicken burger AND chips and cheese, thats like HEAVEN ON A PLATE!
Kerri: Oooooh, heaven on a plate from the sting ray!

Walking home and laughing at the man in the beastin winter coat.
Kerri: We should really stop taking the piss out of everyone, you know.
Ellie: I kane, it's nae like I'm an oil paintng.

While out on Drunken Tuesday.
Ellie: Fatty's moved to upstairs.
Kerri: Bet she moved the barrier.
Ellie: Bet she ate it.

Kerri: I know we said should stop taking the piss out of people, but she is no oil painting - there wouldn't be enough oil to paint her!

While bra shopping we found a gold one covered in beasting gold sequins.
Kerri: That looks like you should be in a drag show. In Las Vegas. Singing Tina Turner.

Looking at a scary black and blue laaaacy bra.
Kerri: If you bought that you'd look like a prostitute, you know wearing that and a black silky robe - not that I picture you like that...

Walking to the shop as it was a lovely day and Ellie wanted Lucozade.
Kerri: It's so nice, I wanted to put on a summer dress, pick daisies and braid peoples hair.

Ellie being a general skank
Ellie: Eeew.. this juice has dust in it..
*Ellie drinks the juice*

Ellie: Awww man! My bread's mouldy and I've gone and made soup and have nothing to dip in it now. Guttted..
*Matt picks up Ellie's bread and goes through to the other part of the kitchen returning soon after*
Matt: Here you go, I cut the mould off.
Ellie: I'm not eating THAT! It's mouldy!
Matt: What do you think mould is?!?
Ellie: ...mould..?
Matt: PENICILLIN!!
Ellie: I'm still not eating it.
*Ellie eats the bread.*

Friiiday Night at mine.
Kerri: That's the purple stew. Why am I singing that? Did they ever come to your school? Did they?! Did Barbie ever come to your school?! She's dead.


MSN-ing.
Kerri. [ And It's The Stars, The Stars That Shine For You. ] says:
i mean, he might kill you or something..
Ellie Loves Marti
. Our eyes are always open, devoted to perfection, through silence... says:
lmfao
Kerri. [ And It's The Stars, The Stars That Shine For You. ] says:
you won't be laughing when you are dead.
Ellie Loves Marti
. Our eyes are always open, devoted to perfection, through silence... says:
HAHAHAHA
Ellie Loves Marti
. Our eyes are always open, devoted to perfection, through silence... says:
that is going in the blog.
Kerri. [ And It's The Stars, The Stars That Shine For You. ] says:
you better hope he doesn't find it, might spur on your death


More MSN
Kerri. [ And It's The Stars, The Stars That Shine For You. ] says:
but i'm re

Kerri : How can he have never eaten a cheese sandwich?! Everyone in the world has eaten a cheese sandwich!! Ok maybe not everyone, like Eskimos
Ellie : Kerri, you do know eskimos don't live in igloos?
Kerri : Yeah i know That, but where do they get the cheese from?
ellie is typing
Do they have snow cows?
Ellie : I don't get how he can't have eaten a cheese sandwich..SNOW COWS?!?!
Kerri : Yeeeah! They're like abominable snowmen, but cows!

Kerri : I am going to make you a mob-eel.
Ellie : Isn't it a mobile? Isn't a mob-eel, like an..auto..?
Kerri : Yes. An auto mob-eel. But mob-eel just sounds cooler.

Ellie and Kerri are in the shop buying drink. Kerri is buying beer and Ellie decides on Blue WKD.
Ellie : I'm picking a blue one. OK?! Wooow, look at that giant pack of jaffa cakes!!
Ellie and Kerri gaze at the jaffa cakes and wait for ages in the queue. Kerri pays for her beer and Ellie goes to put her bottle of blue wkd on the counter and realises she's picked up a bottle of smirnoff ice instead..
Ellie: OH. Kerri, we're having this.
Both errupt into laughter.

While Me and Ellie are discussing the outcome of our chain smoking (which was our solution to boredom)
Kerri: I don't want to have skin with more lines on it than a road map, because of smoking like that woman in clochan.

On MSN, while Ellie is essaying.
Ellie: Whats the word i want, i want to say the ..... of capitalism, but outbreak is wrong, capitalism int a disease.. lol
Kerri: Put outbreak in the thesasuafbdfjgns and see what it says
Kerri: btw, i cant spel thesudfbs
Ellie: thesaurus

Whilst Kerri is getting her glad-rags on
Kerri: Ellie! I can't wear THIS!
Ellie pisses herself laughing as Kerri sticks her chest out and the top falls down

While Kerri is under the desk picking up all the bits of paper she dropped when she dropped the hole-punch
Kerri: I feel drunk, although I probably still am, since I've drunk enough to kill a fish! Eeeeew why have you got a bean on the floor?!
Ellie: It's a chocolate raisin you fanny. Did you think it was a baked bean?!
Kerri: Noooo, like a plant bean!!

While we were speaking about someone's job.
Ellie: He was a K.P.
Kerri: A what?
Ellie: You know, a K.P in a hotel.
Kerri: Is thaaat what he did..a whaaat?!
Ellie: A kitchen porter, did you not know what a K.P was?
Kerri: No, I thought you meant like a peanut.

Ellie: *Sings* You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out. In out, in out and shake it all about.
Kerri: You do the hockey cockey...
Ellie: And DIE. It's the hockey cockey for terminally ill children.


Please note, we were completely sober during all of these above conversations.


Ellie: Feel My Eyelashes!
Kerri: Ooooh!!!

Kerri: Ew, why does it taste flat?
Ellie: Mine doesn't.
Kerri: Go taste it.
Ellie: Ugh. Mine doesn't taste like that.

Kerri: Oh woop...Happy Christmas. Here's a coat.

Kerri: I just looked down and was like OH! I have an errection!

Kerri (while she is dancing with a guy): Please tell your friend to stop licking my friend.

Once the guy who was licking Ellie, stopped licking her started dancing up and down her leg
Kerri: What is he doing?! He's not a dog in season!