1. Never leave a fellow crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
2. Never use your real name.
3. Never confess.
4. No one goes home alone.
5. Never let a girl get between you and a fellow crasher.
6. Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
7. Blend in by standing out.
8. Be the life of the party.
9. Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
10. Invitations are for pussies.
11.Sensitive is good.
12. When it stops being fun, break something.
13. Bridesmaids are desperate - console them.
14. You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
15. Fight the urge to tell the truth.
16. Always have an up-to-date family tree.
17. Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
18. You love animals and children.
19. Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
20. The older the better, the younger the better. (See Rule Below)
21. Definitely make sure she's 18.
22. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
23. There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there is enough women to go around.
24. If you get outted, leave calmly. Do not run.
25. You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
26. Of course you love her.
27. Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
28. Make sure there's an open bar.
29. Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
30. Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
31. If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow crashers know.
32. Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
33. Never go back to your place.
34. Be gone by sunrise.
35. Breakfast is for closers.
36. Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
37. At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
38. Never hit on the bride! It's a one-way ticket to the pavement.
39. The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
40. Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
41. Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
42. At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to the wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row smells like crashing.
43. Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it. Allude to it. Then walk away. She'll follow.
44. Always remember your fake name!
45. The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
46. You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
47. Make sure all the single women know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiance.
48. Always work the following into a conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
49. Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
50. Always pull out in time.
51. Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
52. Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive." Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
53. Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.
54. If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle Ned. Everyone has an Uncle Ned.
55. Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up.
56. When seeing a rival crasher, do not interact-merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.
57. The Ferrari's in the shop.
58. If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.
59. No "chicken dancing" - no exceptions.
60. When crashing out of state, request permission from a local Wedding Crasher chapter.
61. No more than two weddings in a

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.”
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this
will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls
are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If
she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and
every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then
when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “**** you” and grab the other
girl’s ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.
When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you’re
really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she
starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and
whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick.” Women love those
special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket,
because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say
“if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to be
bitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she’ll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all
night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10
minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes
home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give
her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.
17. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings
or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This
way, she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interrupt
and say “no, she’s not hungry.” Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy
that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls
love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on
it (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I’m talking
about).

21. When it’s raining, keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say “no, it’s just the rain.” Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday,

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