How many Auckland school students does it take to change a light bulb?

Diocesan: 1. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her

Papakura: 2. One to change the bulb and the other to figure out how to get
high from the first

St Kentigerns: None. They're all too arrogant at first to notice that its
dark, and even when they spot a hole they just put their penis in it.

St Cuthberts: 1. She'll call the maintenance staff because there is no way
she's going to do any manual labor.

Corran: 3. One to change it, one to hold her handbag and one to make sure
everyone is reapplying their lipgloss sufficiently

Kings: 71 - One to change it and 70 to protect them from the bad people over
the fence

Epsom Girls: 5. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are
still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times

Otahuhu: 5. Four to break into the store and steal the bulb and one to
install it.

Macauley: None. Its too unsafe for pregnant girls to do such a dangerous
task.

Henderson: 10. One to change the bulb, one to call the dealer and eight to
have a session while they wait.

Waitakere: None. Everything that hasn't been welded down was flogged long
ago.

Metro: None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging school.

Carmel: None. They only have to give head to the Rosmini boys and its done
for them.

Mt Albert: 4. One to change the bulb and three to count how many times he
talks about rugby or fucking someones mother.

St Pauls: none, dey dont have light bulbs in da islands aye?!

Selwyn: none, whats the point in lighting a classroom when no one goes to
class?

Howick: the whole school- all they ever want is a screw!

Green Bay: none, no one can read the instructions on how to do it

AGS: 101 + 1 teacher - 1 to actually change the bulb, a teacher to assess
his performance and another 100 students to measure and rate him against.

Sacred Heart: 2 + 1 Brother + 1 lawyer. 1 Polynesian import to change the
bulb, 1 white kid to explain how to him, the Brother to molest them both and
the lawyer to ensure that it all stays 'hush, hush' and the school's
reputation is in no way adversely affected. Oh yeah another white guy trying
to be black, just for decoration.

Takapuna Grammar School: 45 + a riot squad to defend the local neighbourhood
when binge drinking students discover the light bulbs are more effective as
weapons while at the local out-of-control Shore party that is enevitable
come the weekend.

Kristin: None, the light from their personal laptops lights up the room just
fine.

Rangitoto: 100 + a team policing unit + parents - 100 kids to use the dark
as an excuse to steal their parents alcohol, have a party and trash the
house. A team policing unit to break up the party and arrest them.Parents to
vehemently deny that their precious darlings would do such a thing.

Westlake Girls: None - the staff at the abortion clinics do that sort of
thing.

Baradene: None - ugly chicks must be kept in darkness

Westlake Boys: None - they would use the dark as an opportunity to do
something latently homo-erotic

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