- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".

- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem …

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything prod

A message to those that don't know what a motorcyclist is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw you,
hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.

But, you didn't see me,
put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.

I saw you,
pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk.

But, you didn't see me,
washing dishes for charity.

I saw you,
change your mind about going into the restaurant.

But, you didn't see me,
attending a meeting to raise money for hurricane relief.

I saw you,
roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by.

But, you didn't see me,
driving behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.

I saw you,
frown at me when I smiled at your children.

But, you didn't see me,
when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.

I saw you,
roll your eyes at our leather coats and gloves.

But, you didn't see me,
and my brothers donate our old coats and gloves to those that had none.

I saw you,
look in fright at my tattoos.

But, you didn't see me,
cry as my children were born and have their name written over and in my heart.

I saw you,
change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere.

But, you didn't see me,
going home to be with my family.

I saw you,
complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be.

But, you didn't see me,
when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.

I saw you,
yelling at your kids in the car.

But, you didn't see me,
pat my child's hands, knowing he was safe behind me.

I saw you,
reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road.

But, you didn't see me,
squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.

I saw you,
race down the road in the rain.

But, you didn't see me,
get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.

I saw you,
run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time.

But, you didn't see me,
trying to turn right.

I saw you,
cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in.

But, you didn't see me,
leave the road.

I saw you,
waiting impatiently for my friends to pass.

But, you didn't see me.
I wasn't there.

I saw you,
go home to your family.

But, you didn't see me.
Because, I died that day you cut me off.

I was just a motorcyclist,.....

A person with friends and a family.

Time to take notice and see me for what I am...

Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise in pure hypocrisy
I'll instigate I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time

God hates us all, God hates us all

You know it's true God hates this place
You know it's true he hates this race
Homicide - Suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered

God hates us all, God hates us all
God hates us all, God hates us all

Yea! he fuckin' hates me

Pessimist, terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding on hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world fuckin' dies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow

Man made virus infecting the world
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the fuck up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy

I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation - seperation
Just me in my world of enemies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow

I'll never be the one to bear the cross - disciple

I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place