You KNOW your obsessed with NCIS when...

.Your computer malfunctions and you're looking around for McGee to fix it.
.Your reason for never getting a cold is because no virus/germ/bug would dare to even get near you - 'cos if Gibbs can get away with it, so can you!
.You wander the convenience stores hoping to find Caff-Pow.
.You have an overwhelming desire to head slap anyone who ticks you off
.You find yourself scanning bookstore shelves for a copy of "Deep Six"
.You find yourself calling the office junior 'Probie'

.You see everywhere someone who reminds you of an NCIS character, you could swear they were their double, when they're probably nothing like them!
.You actually consider a spider web tattoo on your neck
.You begin building a boat in your basement just like the one Gibbs has
.You super-glued your co-worker's fingers to his keyboard and then left the room
.You look on the Internet for a Mighty Mouse stapler
.You postpone needed surgery because you might still be under when the show comes on
.You ask a bunch of nuns if you can bowl with them

.You take to drinking strong black sugarless pop by the gallon
.You teeter on impossible stilettos
.You confuse English expressions
.You start talking to any dead creature
.You talk to your PC, CD player, TV and all other forms of technology in your life
.You hold conferences with your neighbours in the lift in your block of flats
.You drive at breakneck speed ignoring traffic and traffic signs

.You take to wearing a dog collar with studs or spikes instead of pearl necklaces
.You dye your hair red
.You're convinced your life will be complete if only you can obtain a farting hippo stuffed toy that you can name Bert
.You dye your hair black and wear it in pigtails
.You become a Goth
.You start wearing black lipstick
.You have a penchant for long winded stories

.Your catchphrase becomes "D'ya think?" or "On it boss!"
.You write novels using your workmates as your source of inspiration
.You get into forensic science
.Your favourite hat is a bright orange beanie
.You only notice young men who wear Italian designer label suits/footwear or silver-haired blue-eyed men who buy their clothes from Sears
.You start referring to water cooler gossip as 'scuttlebutt'
.You refer to the loo/restroom as the 'head' -- and you were never in the Navy

.You talk about 'zulu time'
.You 'profile' any potential friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/custom
 er/neighbour
.The idea of building a boat in your basement, even though you will have no way to get it out of the basement when completed without demolishing several walls, seems like a sane, rational, intelligent thing to do.
.You discover you can instill fear in people simply by glaring at them
.When a friend asks for support you say 'on your six'
.You start looking for DiNozzo, Kate, Gibbs and Col. Mann when you see service members in uniform. (And DiNozzo among the Village People!)
.You hit the Internet/library to find out what poison ivy looks like because you don't want to end up like poor McGee. (You also find the proportions for the baking soda/vinegar paste, and/or keep a bottle of calamine lotion with you at all times, just in case.)

.You hunt perfume counters looking for one that smells like gunpowder or bourbon (even though you know Abby made them... you still hope to get lucky).

Quotes from Tim "Probie" McGee, Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo, Ziva David, Abigail "Abby" Sciuto and of course THE master of the 'Gibbsmack'...Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The crew that makes up the NCIS Family.

Abby: [Abby's playing loud music and has locked herself in her office] I can't hear you McGee!
McGee: If you can't hear me, why'd you answer?

Ziva: What's wrong with this picture?
McGee: Besides Tony showing up before us ... AND doing *actual* work?
DiNozzo: I *can* hear you, you know?

DiNozzo: [to Ziva] If I needed cheering up, I would've put superglue on McGee's keyboard.
McGee: [with his finger stuck on his keyboard] You put superglue on my keyboard!

Gibbs: [whispers in Abby's ear, because she and McGee are asleep in front of the computer] Your computer's on fire.
Abby: [snaps awake] McGee! My baby's french fryin'!
McGee: [wakes up] Checking internal systems...
Abby: [sees Gibbs, Ziva, and Tony standing there] That's not funny...

DiNozzo: [as they're entering a car] That's original McGee. Is there any part of your brain that's original?
McGee: At least I have one, Tony.
DiNozzo: What's that supposed to mean?
[puts the key in the ignition]
McGee: Nothing.
DiNozzo: We're not going anywhere.
McGee: [exhales] What? Until I apologize?
DiNozzo: No! Not until you apologize.
[gets out of the car and looks around the lot]
DiNozzo: We're in the wrong damn car!

McGee: Did anyone else see what just happened with Abby?
DiNozzo: Yeah, she stole my dollar!

McGee: The camera must'a added about ten pounds to me.
DiNozzo: Actually, that was your refrigerator, Probie.

McGee: Why would I give flowers to a dog that attacked me?
Abby: Um, maybe because dog is man's best friend. Or maybe because I'm a forensic scientist and I could boil you from the inside out and never leave a trace.

McGee: You know, the last time you were dying of a horrible disease, you were a little more stoic about the whole thing.
DiNozzo: I was younger then... carefree.
McGee: It was two years ago.
DiNozzo: Last time I almost died someone blew up my car! So that's twice I've almost died, and this is the *third* time! And bad stuff happens in threes! And I'm out of almosts! I'm telling you, man! This time I'm *dying*! I *know* it!

DiNozzo: [rubbing his feet on the carpet as he walks up to McGee, in a singsong voice] Friction makes a static charge.
[shocks McGee]
McGee: Would you stop that? I'm still humming from the Taser.

Ziva: I told you I couldn't program the navigator. I'm a *driver*!
McGee: Ziva, I've driven with you before. I'd rather be lost than dead.

Here is the single most heartbreaking fight Goren & Eames have hadd and probaly will ever have. 6 months after being suspended and sent for a psychiatric evaluation, Bobby's trapped in "Purgatory" and will do whatever it takes to get out. Alex finally breaks down and stands up to Bobby and unleashes 8 years worth of pain, angst and emotion after nearly shooting him, while undercover. Everyone, except Alex knew what Bobby was up to. A fact that, in Alex's eyes was the ultimate betrayal. This lead to their relationship taking a turn for the worst. What will S8 bring for 2 of NYC and MCS' best and brightest?

Law & Order: Criminal Intent - "Purgatory"
Season 7
Episode 11

Bobby: Eames. I'm Sorry.
Eames: That's all you have to say to me? I could've blown your head off back there. Eight years I've had your back, and I don't even get the courtesy of a phone call.
Bobby: I was trying to protect you.
Eames: Since when?
Bobby: And there were rules that–
Eames: Rules. (laughs) You gotta be kidding me. You managed to get word to the captain, you contacted the Chief of Ds, but just not your partner?
Bobby: This was my only way back. I mean, how else am I gonna get my shield? You're not gettin' it.
Eames: I get it. I get it. You're the genius, and I just carry your water, right? You have any idea how many times I've lied for you, covered your ass?
Bobby: I was in a deep hole here.
Eames: And who's fault was that? All your wounds are self-inflicted.
Bobby: I know, I tried not to drag you into this one.
Eames: And what would you have done if I hadn't burst through that door? If it wasn't me, you'd be dead.
Bobby: I didn't look for this.
Eames: You could've fooled me, Detective. I hope it was worth it.

An epsiode and a scene no-one will EVER forget!