Dear John and Cian,

It's sickening to think that you'll never be famous; at least, not as famous as you deserve to be. There'll never be discussions on radio about the ambiguity of certain lyrics, or the sources of certain beats, and the controversial topics which you so cleverly deal with will never be debated by posh muppets with brown leather coats and oak pipes. Your faces won't be iconic and you won't have slogans on T-shirts that reference your songs.

Instead of all this, which you may not want but do deserve, you have myself and a few thousand others who are listening. Really fucking listening. We're listening and we're taking notes and we're using this knowlege to live our lives, and for some reason that should make everything else unimportant.

As a tribute I say this; thank you for playing small gigs and giving us moments, intimate moments, laughs and warm sensations. Awesome live show, awesome banter before and after. You don't owe me one.

-Neil.

P.S. I'm sorry if it was awkward to talk while you were on the shitter.

Name: Neil
Age: 18
Ethnicity: Whiteboy
Height: 5'11"


Favourites:

Favourite colour: Green Ranger
Favourite drink: Milko!
Favourite food: Salmon. Oh lordy lord!
Favourite clothing brand: Too many
Favourite foreign country: Scotland, and I've been around...
Favourite band: Biffy Clyro, unconditionally and absolutely
Favourite song: You Can Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac (post blues-era, for shame).
Favourite poet. Steven Patrick Morrissey
Favourite author: I haven't read enough of anyone to give an answer that isn't J.K. Rowling
Favourite director: The Q-master


Beliefs:

Believe in god: No.
Jesus: He lived, of that I'm sure.
Buddha: I don't know, but probably not
Hare krishna: Maybe? Therapy?
Moses: He lived
Mohammed: He lived

For/against

Right to bear arms: Four bear arms, awesome!
Death penalty: Depends on the crime and all that.
Abortion: I'm pro-choice, man.
Euthanasia: It's all down to circumstance, but I suppose I do.
Fox hunting: I'm not too pushed either way.
Vegetarians: It's a choice.
Immigrants: Having been one in the past, I have to say for.
Breastfeeding in public: Deary me, no.
Private schools: They breed demons and steal my friends, but they are necessary I suppose.

Currently...

Watching: out for my fellow man.
Listening to: Weezer
Reading: Twilight. Not even a bit ashamed.
Eating: butterflies and guilt.


What is the fourth sentence of the 144th page of the nearest book to you: "I gestured toward him."
What is the fourth track of the nearest cd: 'Stop Touching myUnit' - S.H.!.T.
What was the fourth item of clothing you put on this morning. I'm still in my PJs.
What were you doing four days ago: Drinking in Tralee
What will you be doing in four days time: Probably drinking in Tralee


Do you have body issues: Slight ones, yeah.
Have you ever been on a diet: Apart from the Oxegen Diet, no.
Do you think your pretty? Not as pretty as Jesus.
Are you shy? Yessir.
Are you an angry person? Only when I'm recklessly drunk; I lost it about 5 times over the Summer...
Are you opinionated? The most opinionated free man on Earth.
Are you tidy? It ebbs and flows...

What are you scared of? The dark, losing touch, going crazy, losing people, the future, consequences, confessions, public speaking, horror films, rollercoasters, ghost trains, heights, speed, house fires, murderers and facing my own trivial problems.
What are you least scared of? Shoes
What are you best at? Sitting still.
What are you crap at? Saying the right thing, making decisions. (How clichéd...)
What is the most you've spent on anything for yourself? I spoil myself far too often...
What is the most you spent on someone else? All my time, energy and devotion. It's not enough, apparantly.

1. What's your natural hair colour?
Blondey-Brown

2. Where was your display pic taken?
The Greyhound

3. What's your middle name?
Michael

4. Your current relationship status?
According to bebo, it's 'not saying'. Whatever that means

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
I hope so.

6. What is your current mood?
Nervous, tired and content.

7.What colour underwear are you wearing?
Blue and white like toothpaste.

8.What makes you happy?
Laughter, both my own and other people's. (But mine is louder)

9. If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?
Underwear colour.

11. If you had to be an animal for one day, what would you be?
Charizard

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Sort of I suppose.

13. Something you do a lot?
Interrupt.

14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Convex, Concave by Biffy Clyro

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Steven and Jess

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Mikael Akerfeldt from Opeth, I think.

17. When was the last time you cried?
I can't remember.

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Spider sense, I really like tingling.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
That they're dense and boring.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Never been, I'm not trendy or thirsty.

22. What’s your biggest secret?
Hairdresser.

23. What's your favorite color?
It's not about colours, it's about combinations.

24. Do you act differently around your crush?
Probably not.

25. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
Yes

27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
My saliva. Mmmmmmm

28. Do you speak any languages?
Absolutely now.

29. What's your favourite smell?
Rain.

30. If you could describe life in one word what would it be?
Ill-conceived

31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug.
Last night I think. Excluding bear hugs and other assorted wrestling moves.

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
I believe so. Stupid rain...

33. What are you thinking about right now?
A clever answer.

34. What should you be doing?
Sleeping or saving the world.

35. What was the last thing that made you upset?
Not thinking of a clever answer in Q. 33. Curse you, 33!

36. How often do you pray?
Never. I gave it up for lent.

37. Do you like working in the yard?
I'd like to work my penis into your yard. (Vagina)

38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Fightmaster.

39. Name 5 things in your room
Hand-Painted portrait of Colonel Sanders, Ghostbusters badge, Dutch Gold sticker, stacks of lyrics, many instruments. I'm so hip and deep, right?

40. When was the last time you told a lie?
Earlier today. Easy.


Top 4:
1: Easy Lynch
2: Chriiis
3: Paulo
4: Murph

How long have you known 1? About 10 years

How did you meet 3? Through the Murph man

Best memory with 4? Pink Champagne, you beast.

Ever traveled anywhere with 3? Oxegen.

Describe 2 in 3 words: He's a lumo.

Why are you friends with 1? Because God has a plan.

How often do you see 2? Not enough, lately.

Have you ever kissed 3? Dunno, have I?

Is 1 in a relationship? Hopefully not with a girl, but we're pretty tight.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as 4? I wouldn't call it a bed, but it was a sleeping arrangement.

When was the last time you saw 1? 6 hours ago.

What was the last thing 3 said to you? "I have your umbrella" or something/

Are you and 2 best friends? Yes please.

Inside joke with 3? Crafty...Sticky.

Do you have a nickname for 4? Murphy and that.

When are you going to see 1? Tomorrow.

Do you have any classes with 2? Well, he's been in my class for like 1000 years, but after this year it's unlikely to happen again.

Do you trust 3? WIth my life and my broll