_+880________________________ ____ _ _++88________________________ ____ _ _++88_________Fuck Yeah!!!_________ _ __+880_______________________ __++ _ __+888_______________________ _+88 _ __++880______________________ +88__ __++888_____+++88__________++ +8__ __++8888__+++8880++88____+++8 8___ __+++8888+++8880++8888__++888 ____ ___++888++8888+++888888++888_ ____ ___++88++8888++8888888++888__ ____ ___++++++888888888888888888__ ____ ____++++++88888888888888888__ ____ ____++++++++000888888888888__ ____ _____+++++++000088888888888__ ____ ______+++++++00088888888888__ ____ _______+++++++088888888888___ ____ _______+++++++088888888888___ ____ ________+++++++8888888888____ ____ ________+++++++0088888888____ ____ ________++++++0088888888_____

Guy's Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Finally, some guy has taken the time to write down the guys side of the story.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you look fat, you probably do. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine . . . Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. To my wife: Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Tooo funny..
CAN YOU READ THIS?????? 10 days ago


Can you read this???
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 58 plepoe can (including me).
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs Put it on yuor bolg!!!!!

IF YOU CAN RED THIS THEN PUT IT ONTO YOUR BLOG


0 Comments 19 days ago



Being a Maori, haha as if
yOu kNoW yOuR a mAoRi wHeN.....

· Every restaurant is an ‘all you can eat’ place

· A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose

· Boil up is your preferred health food choice

· Breakfast is left over boil up from the night before

· You’re sent to pick watercress for the tangi at 3 o’clock in the morning, you go the watercress patch at 3.30 am and the marae down the road have already beaten you to it

· You organise a get together for 2 o’clock and everyone shows up at 5

· You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks

· You visit cuzzies, and someone’s wearing the clothes you left behind last time you were there – and your undies are hanging on the clothes-line but you know you haven’t been wearing them

· You and your cousins sit around, and diss everyone who walks past

· You have 6 people in the back seat of a two door sports car

· In a photo, someone’s pulling some kind of gang related hand signal

· Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting nits

· You’re at a party, and someone in your whanau turns the stereo off and starts playing the guitar

· You know all the words to Ten Guitars

· You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae

· The words ‘oi’, ‘ow’, ‘umm’, ‘chur’, ‘sweet’, and nah-yeah’ are all part of your vocab

· You go to school to eat the other kids lunch

· You think your tribe is the best in the world

· Your dad cuts your hair, gets hoha and leaves the other half for the next day after school

· Your older brother makes you cry and you’re the one who gets a hiding for crying

· All your marbles are ball bearings, and you try to pass them off as steelies

· Hello and goodbye are both said by raising your eyebrows

· Your jandals/gumboots are: your running shoes, your work shoes, your flippers and your going out shoes

· Your swimming togs are shorts and a t-shirt (and you’re in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear are bikinis)

· You run to do bombs at the public pools where it says “no running and no bombs”

· Brushing your hair is………putting on a beanie

· You can’t speak Maori but are fluent when you’re drunk

· You laugh at everyone who can’t sing

· You laugh at everyone who can’t dance

· You laugh at everyone who can’t do both at the same time

· You’re at a party with the guitar and everyone only knows the chorus to the songs you sing

· You go to a party and at least a couple of your relatives are sleeping on the table

· You go to the same party three days later and its still going

· You go diving with one flipper, a broken snorkel and no goggles

· Gumboots, jandals, and a swandri are all considered #1’s

· The whanau hangi rocks, sacks and baskets get passed down to you

· You use your whakapapa and tino rangatiratanga stance to get into a public event and finally.....

· You know you’re definitely a Maori if you’ve read this right to the bitter end, because Maori's don’t like to miss out on anything!!! Chur!!!!!