When God said "Let there be light", Jimbo said "Say please."

Jimbo does not have kidneys. Instead, he bench presses impurities out of his blood.

All world records are currently held by James Fleming. The Guiness Book Of Records simply records the closest anyone has ever come to beating him.

Jimbo once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Jimbo once delayed the cruise liner he was on for three months because he got bored and decided to swim against the cruise liner, pushing it in the other direction.

There are no such things as steroids in sport...only athletes Jimbo has breathed on.

Jimbo's urine contains all the elements of the periodic table.

It was once believed that Jimbo actually lost a fight to a junkie, but that is a lie, created by Jimbo himself to lure more junkies to him.

Jimbo will let you give him a blowjob ONLY if you can beat him in an arm wrestle. Consequentially, To this day Jimbo has never received a blowjob.

When Jimbo gets the Flu, smallpox, Ebola or any other illness/disease, he spends an hour in the Gym bench pressing it out of his system.

When Jimbo does pushups,he doesnt push himself off the ground...he pushes the earth down.

Every time Jimbo flexes a bicep, another ship is lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

James Fleming ate the last slice of pizza. What are you gonna do about it?

James Fleming just stuck his finger up your nose. What are you gonna do about it?

James Fleming starts bench pressing you. What are you gonna do about it?

James Fleming won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

You know the Holocaust? Jimbo.

Jimbo cooks meat by staring it down until it cooks.

Jimbo's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

If Jimbo were a hot dog, he would eat himself. And then miraculously appear the next day in a cave sealed by a boulder.

Jimbo knows there is a God, because Jimbo kicks his ass at their weekly triathlon. Events include Full Skip Tossing, Bicep Flexing Contest, and Testicle Truck Pull...simultaneously.

Jimbo knows.

Jimbo has two speeds, walk and kill.

Jimbo is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Jimbo smoked 15 packs of cigarettes and 10 cigars a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by bench pressing for 30 minutes.

Jimbo is the 113th element of the Periodic Table.

Jimbo and Chuck Norris are fierce enemies, and have been fighting since the dawn of time, possibly earlier. The original reason for the conflict has been lost, but it has hypothesized that universe was created when Chuck gave Jimbo a roundhouse kick to the face, and Jimbo survived. He is the only person other than Mr T and Vin Diesel to be able to take the full force of the Chuck. Jimbo swore revenge, and he continues planning till this day.

Jimbo was originally cast as King Kong's for the new movie of the same name, but the roll was recast because the director couldn't get Jimbo to drag out his fight scene with T-Rex for more then 13 seconds. Besides, all the female cast members were impregnated.

When Jimbo goes to jail, he passes go and collects 200 dollars.

Jimbo can bench press three cows.

Jimbo can bench press the Matrix.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact bench pressed to death by Jimbo.

Sharks don't live in the ocean because they like it there. Sharks live in the ocean because Jimbo doesn't.

Jimbo does not go out hunting, as the word "hunt" infers the possibility of failure. Jimbo goes out Killing.

If you ask Jimbo what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he snaps you in half and uses your muscle to make a protein shake.

If you can s

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