WHAT IS THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR SURNAME?
A- I ATE..
B- I LICKED..
C- I SAT ON..
D- I PEED ON..
E- I HUMPED..
F- I CHASED..
G- I TACKLED..
H- I SHAT ON..
I- I STALKED..
J- I RAW AWAY WITH..
K- I FELL IN LOVE WITH..
L- I HAD A CRUSH ON..
M- I WANKED OVER..
N- I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH..
O- I PUNCHED..
P- I BIT..
Q- I SCREAMED AT..
R- I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH..
S- I WROTE A LOVE SONG ABOUT..
T- I TIED UP..
U- I HAD 69 WITH..
V- I SUCKED..
W- I POKED..
X- I SLEPT WITH..
Y- I MADE A MOVE ON..
Z- I WENT ON A DATE WITH..

FIND THE SECOND LETTER OF YOUR MIDDLE NAME...
A- A PROSTITUTE..
B- MY TEACHER..
C- GEORGE BUSH..
D- A RAT..
E- A TRAMP..
F- A SHEEP..
G- MY PLUMBER..
H- MY COMPUTER..
I- MY FINGERS..
J- A RABBIT..
K- A LEMMING..
L- AN APPLE..
M- TONY BLAIR..
N- A VIBRATOR..
O- A DILDO..
P- A MOVIESTAR..
Q- MY EX..
R- A BANANA..
S- A CUCUMBER..
T- A TUB OF VASELINE..
U- A PORNSTAR..
V- MY BARBIEDOLL..
W- AN ACTION MAN..
X- SOME CHEESE..
Y- A RANDOM GUY..
Z- SOME RANDOM WOMAN..

NOW FIND THE COLOUR OF THE UNDERWEAR YOU ARE WEARING...
RED- IN A TAXI..
BLUE- IN A BUSH..
GREEN- IN THE BATH..
BLACK- IN MY PARENTS BEDROOM..
WHITE- WHEN I WAS FIVE..
PINK- ON LIVE TV..
BROWN- WHEN I WAS A BABY..
PURPLE- ON THE BUS..
YELLOW- IN A CANDY STORE..
GREY- UNDER A COW..
ORANGE- IN A PIGSTY..
OTHER- BEHIND YOUR SOFA..

NOW FIND YOUR HAIR COLOR...
BLONDE- BECAUSE I WAS HIGH ON COCAINE!
BLACK- BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!
BROWN- BECAUSE IT TURNED ME ON!
GINGER- BECAUSE I'M MAD!
RED- BECAUSE I'M BORED OF THE USUAL!
STRAWBERRY BLONDE- BECAUSE I CAN'T FACE THE FACT THAT I AM GINGER!

!!*LEAVE UR SENTENCE IN A COMMENT I DONT THINK IT WILL BE FUNNIER THAN

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity!


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8 . Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Please feel free to add anything on how you manage to keep you insanity in Accordance With The Prophecy.

1) if u have a large order, please DO NOT ask for one drink at a time.....ask for them all together.
2)DO NOT wave money in my face to get attention.
3)DO NOT click your fingers in my face to get attention.
4)if you DO NOT want ice in your glass please specify this before i pour it.
5)DO NOT ask the bar staff to choose your drink.
6) DO NOT ask for cocktails at 1am on a saturday night.
7) DO not ask for 7 different cocktails.
DO NOT high five me, it wasnt funny at 7pm its still not funny at 2.30am.
9)DO NOT pretend to walk away without paying me...its not big and not clever.
10)DO NOT stand at the bar for ages then when i serve you turn and ask your friend what they are drinking.know before hand.
11)DO NOT order a drink and then realise you cannot pay for it.
12) DO NOT assume we remember what u have been drinking all night...and say "same again."
13)DO NOT try and dance with me over the bar.
14) DO NOT ask me to participate in any game/dare/debate u may be having with your frind...i dont care.
15) DO NOT tell me to smile or cheer up....im am frowning because YOU pissed me off.
16) DO NOT act like your my friend.
17)DO NOT act like i got your order wrong...we are sober and remember.
1 in the event of the above DO NOT watch us pour the drink and then say.
19)DO NOT ask me the price of 6 different drinks and then not order any of them.
20)DO NOT accuse us of not putting alcohol in your drink....its not our fault u cant taste it anymore.
21)DO NOT hold out ur palm with coins because u are too drunk to count...chances are ill charge you double and keep the change as a tip.
22) DO NOT forget to use your manners.
23) DO NOT cover your mouth when ordering a drink, part of our skills is to lip read your fucking wispers.
24)DO NOT in anyway use the bar as a prop in your sex romp....i will soak you with the water gun.
25) DO NOT stand at the no service end of the bar and expected to be served.....you are not staff.
26) just beacuse you are in campus EVERY night DO NOT expect to get served quicker than anyone else.
27) DO NOT abuse the staff in any way.
2 DO NOT bitch about the person that served you...chances are someone else will hear you thus resulting in no one serving you for the remainder of the night.
29) DO NOT hang about the bar if you have no intention of buying a drink.
30) DO NOT make eye contact with me so i have to walk all the way over to you for you to say "im being served." a simple hand in the air implies you have been served.
31)DO NOT try and pull every girl in campus then retire to the bar and ask us for our numbers. you are a creep. we are not intrested.
32) DO NOT ask for water at 3.05am. the bar is shut.
33) DO NOT attempt to join in any banter that the bar staff are having.you are no included.

STICK TO THESE SIMPLE GUIDELINES AND YOU WILL RECIEVE SERVICE WITH A SMILE....BREAK THEM AND YOU WILL DEHYDRATE.