Tagline

rub ma belly and al ge birth tae a horse

Me, Myself, and I

When a was a young lad got maself a goat! bloody thing ate all ma curtins! so i shot it in the leg we a elastic bandy! bloody goat never ate ma curtins agen!

I have vacated aberdeen to the shit hole keith! i choose the places! bloody banged into a cow shopping for tampons and deens shortbread cause he disna like walkers! silly cow!

am stil a chef! just fukin stoopid job shooda been a train designer or a golfer!

adolf hitler was a bit o a tit like! woodna push at cunt a fag or buy him a pint! wood help if a smoked tae start we a supose!

sally stole ma fountin pen a buckie paper! ana kane y sumkin aboot the raft race in tabet! wat ever makes u happy love!

BLUE GUM EARS ARE FUKIN MAJIK! UP THE LOT O YIZ

mikey j and jade goody............... well ats the world 2 wankers less wat a great year!

if yer a dude and wear makeup then u have issues like! y nae wear a bra and pants and call yerself shona red pudding

ana like horses or cows! but chuck norris does

toodlesX

Music

Nae point in listing wood take ages! i play drums! be jelis!

bands i have saw live!

greenday
new found glorey
80'z matchbox Bline diaster
slayer (gods)
slipknot
mastidon
Hatebreed
kill switch engadge
rise against
story of the year
the used
funeral for a friend
Dragonforce
Edguy
Trivium
Godforbid
Mendeed
ocean colour scene
the star 69
BIFFY CLYRO
airogram
foo fighters
serje tankian
my chemical toilet

ges fit i can dee

a can fart and cause a third world country tae get wiped ot! fukin best

Scared Of

anya the germin ifey fae ma work!
whoopy her dog! the 3 legged cat! stoopid cat

annoying stuff

ald ladys on scoot zoomers they are fuds!! ald folk pushing infront of me at the bus station! and FORWARDS are annoying take the hint

moment in history

when the first ever kool caveman (who wears trousers not capes) discovered milk boooya!

My Donkey

am gn tae sponer a donkey and call him !dunky also known as Elvis" majik eh

The Other Half Of Me

Scuba Steve

fukin love my mulet

Paracetamol by Blue Gum Ears

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