I just wrote a pure paragraph in my 'about me' section. I guess I'm realising all my flaws.. but really they're not really flaws.. just bits of me. I am who I am and I probably won't change. Sure the way I act makes friends lose trust in me. And I don't even remember if I actually did the things was accused of doing.. I mean, I don't think I did.. but I might have. It was probably one of thise things I said that was meant as a joke but I got the tone of my voice all wrong. Mary doll points it out regularly "It's not what you said Jennifer, It was the tone of your voice when you said it." People shouldn't take me seriously anyways.. I don't take myself seriously so why should anyone else? Makes no sense at all tbph.

Maybe I should start taking myself seriously, or I'll get nowhere in life. I thought I would do drama after school. But I never considered the idea it could all go wrong. Like firstly, you need higher English. I'm re-sitting int 2. And I still can't be bothered with all the essays and shit. What will I do instead of Drama though? I have no back up at all. Will I end up working behind a bar or in shitty clothes shops all my life? No, wait, you need a National insurance number to work.. and I still haven't called up about the lack of mine and my birthday was way back in february.

Halloween? Halloween costume? Fuck that. One. you need money. Two. You need something to do. Three. I have neither. (N) FML!!!!!

That'll do.
xoxox

A
- Available: Yes.
- Age: 16
- Annoyances: People.
- Afternoons or mornings: Afternoons.

B
- Best Friend: LOUD.
- Beer: Sometimes.
- Birthday: February 24th 1993
- Best month: July. Long lie ins.
- Best day: Tuesday.

C
- Crush: Fuck knows.
- Candy: Lollies.
- Colour: Green/Blue
- Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
- Criminal Record: :S

D
- Day or Night: Night.
- Dream Vehicle: Jag XL:
- Dream: happens when sleeping.

E
- Easiest Person To Talk To: No one every one has to have an opinion.. It's difficult.
- Eggs: in a cup.
- End of the line: ________________________ is just there.
- Everday Routine (briefly): Wake up- Computerness- Friendsness- Sleepness.

F
- First Crush: Angel or Spike. (H)
- Fuck vs Feck: I choose Fork.
- Fave piece of clothing: Jeans.
- Fave song: Suna no Oshiro - Kanon Wakeshima
- Future: Act.

G
- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Eeee... hard choice.. JELLY TOTS!!
- Giver or Taker: Er.
- Greatest moment in life: Erm
- Gold or Silver: Gold

H
- Hair: See Photies.
- Happy: Mostly.
- Hat: Erm.. Black.. and hattish.
- Hugs: Not a fan.

I
- Ice Cream: Rasberry Ripple or Cookie Dough.
- Instrument: Voice Box.
- Is there anything you would tell yourself 3 years ago: Things just get harder. Deal.
- Invisible for a Day: hmm.. Fun?

J
- Jewellry : Crown Ring, Bow Necklace, Cross Necklace.
- Job: - Less.
- Jeans: Skinies.

K
- Kids: They both annoy and fascinate me
- King for the day: God. I'd be.. Horrible.

L
- Lie ins: = Love.
- Longest Car Ride: Er.. Dunno.
- Life!: = Hell & Heaven all in one.

M
- Milk Flavor: Milky...
- Music: Musicy.

N
- Number Of Siblings: One
- Number : 7
- Note to self: Be happy.

O
- One Wish: To be perfectly happy without caring about anything and everything.
- One Phobia: Spiders.. No. Insects. Eugh.
- One song: chop Suey - SOAD
- One love: Japaneseness.

P
- Part Of Your Personality That You Like: Actually cares.
- Physical Feature on yourself you like: Eyes.
- Physical Feature on opposite sex you like: Eyes.

Q
- Quick or Slow: In which context?
- Queen for the day: See king for the day.

R
Reason 2 Smile : Friends.
Reason 2 Cry: Life.
Rolos vs Refreshers: Rolos.

S
Song You Last Heard: In Too Deep - Sum 41.
Song You Are Hearing: Still Doll - Kanon Wakeshima.

T
- Tattoo: At least three.
- Time Now: 00:18
- Time For Bed: Non-Existant.
- Time of Birth: Fuck knows.
- Treat: Sweeties.

U
- Useless: Bells.
- Unusual: Vampires.
- Umbrella or hood: Both

V
- Vegetable You Hate: Most.
- Vegetable You Love: Er.. Carrots.. but only when boiled and cut small...
- Vertigo: Nah.

W
- Worst Habits: Almost everything I do.
- Worst Day: Mondayyyyyy.
- Worst Person: Hmm.. Dunno.
- Worst thing you own: Dunno.
- Why?: I like almost everything I own.. do it must be good.

X
- X-Rays: Only had ones for my teeth.
- Xylophone: Sounds pretty.

Y
- Year It Is Now: 2009
- Yellow: Too bright for me..

Z
- Zoo Animal: Lions and Tigers and Jaguars.
- Zodiac Sign: Pisces. Sup.. I'm two fishes in a bowl.

See I'm a happy person right? But honestly is it such a bad thing for me to sad sometimes? Not like I'm gonna be all suicidal over a lost friendship or an ex being irritating or anything. Fair enough some people are like that.. but I'm not like that.. those who know me know I'm a bit different, like with the whole bad superstition thing and the minor OCD thing and the vampire/jdorama obsession. So, no that minor immature event which you thought was pretty big at the time (prolly cause you were pished) didn't really have an epic effect on my life. And really the friend you were defending bitches more about you that I ever have so it was pointless anyway. You could have come up with something more drastic though.. juice has about the same amout of harm as air. Honestly.. *sigh*. [A Primary 4 could have been more imaginative].

BUT... The things that get to me are things happening in my head like the what if's...
Like What if I died tomorrow..? How would people react? Would they even care?
Or What if that person who's been with me through everything gets bored of me and leaves me?
Or What if something happens to that person who hates me.. They may never forgive me..

I'm not being completely crazy am I? I'm way to pessamistic.

JErroch.