1. “Aberdeen; the silver city with the golden, green and glowing sands and bronze bimbos.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Aberdeen
2. “The best niteclub in the world ever”
~ Paddy Irishman on liquid niteclub
3. “Thirty Three and a Third”
~ Paddy Irishman
4. “What's an Aberdonian's favourite drug? Ken fit a' mean!”
5. “And those bastards don't even miss me. Oh bugger! Wrong Aberdeen! I wanted the one in Hong Kong!”
~ Kurt Cobain on Aberdeen
6. “Its so grey, I can hide easily.”
~ Nelly the Elephant

The city takes has been nicknamed the Granite City as the majority of buildings have been built from kryptonite (but none of the locals can spell "kryptonite", so they chose to call it "granite" instead. This was chosen by architect Archibald Simpson (Lex Luthor in disguise) because of its incredibly drab, unattractive appearance when even slightly wet (although it glows bright green after some of the local cuisine). In the sunshine however, the buildings sparkle wonderfully although this dazzles local drivers, explaining why Aberdeenshire is one big accident blackspot, especially since with all the kryptonite, Superman can't enter the city to save anyone. The majority of the city's kryptonite originates from Rubislaw Quarry, this being the third largest man-made pit in Europe, with nearby Peterhead being the second largest, narrowly behind Dundee which is rumoured to be Satan's armpit.

The "granite" also makes Aberdeen the world's most radioactive city and the Geiger counter was invented here by James Clerk Maxwell, former professor at the ancient University of Aberdeen who also discovered the major rules behind electromagnetism, the kinetic theory behing gases and founded Cove Rangers FC in 1857. Microbiologists at this institute in the 1970s were also responsible for using this background radiation to develop genetically engineered seagulls the size of small labradors. These can still be found at Aberdeen beach and the city retired undefeated in 1997 with UK's highest 'death by seagull' mortality rate. This technology was soon outlawed by the Turkish government before the revolutionary work was used to build the Dounreay nuclear power station in Caithness.

At some point in the 21st century a previously undocumented Irish tribe called the O'Pharmacys launched an aggressive campaign on the village of Aberdeen, although their first target was Edinburgh but were repelled by an already existing clan; the O'Physicians. The arrival of the O'Pharmacys resulted in the alcoholic content of the village quadrupling to 80% overnight, coupled with the tribes astonishing knowledge of mood altering compounds such as cabbage wine, Aberdeen now contains more langers than Cork and a commonly heard phase is "Tis no Cork". These cunning Irish used their chat-up line of "Thirty Three and a Third" to seduce Scottish maidens. Upon their initial arrival the inebriated Irish staggered into its administrative centre "City Hall" and proceeded to erect posters proclaiming the status of the town to be "Under New Management". The first act of the new council was to rename City Hall as Paddy's Bar. The Aberdonians themselves never protested as they were all out shagging sheep and the only occupants of the town were the pungent Polish who accepted their new masters with glee in the hope of kinder working condtions, alas they would live to regret it as the now infamous "Union Street Massacre" would prove.
For decades it has been an Aberdonian tradition to dig up the most attractive areas of the city such as Rubislaw in order to build urban catastrophes such as Torry or Northfield on the outskirts of the city. The most recent urban blight is the Stewart Milne development at Kepplestone; known locally as 'Tillydrone West'. This concrete and steel tribute to 1960's council houses completely over shadows all else on Queens Road. For those who have purchased a Kepplestone Manor apartment, or those who are just visiting, rumou

Pharmacology...the love of my life
Pharmacology is the branch of science that deals with the study of drugs and their action on living systems. It has enormous importance for our everyday lives. Drugs have always been, and remain, one of the main ways of treating and preventing disease. However, the exciting discipline of pharmacology has an importance that goes beyond that of providing a basis for the use drugs to treat patients. It is also concerned with the use of drugs as probes for elucidating cellular and physiological process. As a discipline, therefore, pharmacology underpins many of the medical advances that have led to improvements in quality of life

The aim of the UCD pharmacology course is to develop a deep understanding of the mechanism of drug action in the whole animal as well as at a cellular and molecular level. The information about drugs and their effects is presented in the context of related biomedical sciences such as biochemistry, physiology, microbiology and pathology. In addition, students are introduced to many key areas of pharmacology research which provides the basis for the development of better drugs for the future.

1. Pharmacists do it over the counter.
2. Pharmacists are Rx rated.
3. They find new routes of administration.
4. Pharmacists do it qds prn.
5. Pharmacists do it orally, vaginally, rectally, topically....
6. Hospital pharmacists do it on every floor.
7. They like easy-off tops.
8. Pharmacists do it with side effects.
9. They have a long duration of action.
10. They do more than just lick and stick.
11. Pharmacists do it a dose at a time.
12. Pharmacists do it with drugs.
13. Pharmacists do it with a grinding motion