General:

"What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"
"You'd sacrifice this beautiful woman for a moderately attractive ape? You've been smoking some bad granola."
"If we can hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards...Checkmate."
"You win again, gravity!"
"And now for the battle plan. As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise.....Surprise!!" (pushes the button of the trapdoor)
"Stop! The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."
"We don't know anything about their race, history, or culture, but one thing's for sure. They stand for everything we stand against."
"Wow, one day a man has everything...,then the following day he blows up a $40 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It really makes you think."
"I like your style, Fry - you remind me of a young me, not much younger mind you, perhaps even a couple years older."
"She's a beatifull ship alright. Shapely, seductive. I'm gonna fly her brains out!"
"I'm the man with no name... Zapp Brannigan."
"Mister and Mrs. Wong! You give me FAR too little credit."
"Ah, she handles like a steakhouse, but she flys like a bistro."
"I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law, I merely enforece it!"
"Where's the little umbrella Kif? That's what makes it a Scotch on the rocks!"
"Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky, By jackknifing from one to the next at breakneck speed, we might just get some kinda gravity boost.....Or something."
"That's the problem with Neutrals - you never know where you stand. Damn them and their neutrality."
"...but paper covers rock and rock crushes scissors... kif, we have a conundrum. get me some paper, a rock and some scissors."
"Yep, that's whatever you were talkin about for ya."
"Lower...lower...lower...TO LOW!...lower"
"I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about!"
"Fly the white flag of war"
"All right amatuer hour's over. Let me show you why they call me the Velour Fog...."
"That young man fills me with hope. And some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing."
"Good fundamentals, you're killin' me-AMAZON WOMAN HITS HIM WITH CLUB-oh GOD! you're killin me!"


Advice:

"In the game of chess you can never let your opponent see your pieces"
"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in."
"Kif, this is my personal book of compliments for women, say as many of them as you can, as fast as you can and you're in!"
"We're sure its a women this time? Right Kif."


Pickup Lines:

"im about to try the new lotion you recommended, if i should accidentally put too much on my hands, perhaps i could rub it onto you"
"if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a bit?"
"We both know you won't get halfway to Vergon 6 before THE CRAVING sets in. Then, you'll come crawling back for some sweet, sweet candy. .....BAM."
"Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast"
"Can you ask a little more-sexfully?"
"Have some more Champag-en?"
"I've always thought the most sensual part of a woman was the boobies."
"Welcome to my humble lair, or as i like to call it, the lovenasium."
"I'll have two steaks, and the ladies will each have a very sensual salad with a very low-fat sensual dressing."
"Leela, perhaps this is an ackward time, but if things don't work out with this pipsqueak here, I want you to know that I'll be there to score you on the rebound."
"I'll be all over you like a fly on some very seductive manure..."
"It's real Velour, let yourself go.."

Conversations:

"Kif, what's the worst job in the world?"
-"Being your assistant?"
"WRONG!! BEING YOUR ASSISTANT!!"

Zapp: Kif, get me ten cases of Pert and Popular.
Kif: What shall I do with your Jergens, sir?
Zapp: Squirt it on some homeless man with dry el