Find your birthday and its corresponding tree.

Then, see the meaning behind it below. Do you recognize yourself?

Dec 23 to Jan 01 ------ Apple Tree
Jan 02 to Jan 11 ------ Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 ------ Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 ------- Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 ------- Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 -------- Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 -------- Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 ------- Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 ------- Lime Tree
Mar 21 --------------------- Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 ------- Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 --------- Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 --------- Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 --------- Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 ------ Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 ------ Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 ------- Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 -------- Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 -------- Fig Tree
Jun 24 --------------------- Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 --------- Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 ----------- Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 ----------- Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 --------- Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 --------- Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 --------- Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 -------- Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 --------- Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 --------- Lime Tree
Sep 23 ---------------------- Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 --------- Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 ---------- Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 ---------- Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 --------- Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 -------- Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 -------- Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 -------- Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 -------- Fig Tree
Dec 22 ---------------------- Beech Tree

APPLE TREE (the Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

ASH TREE (the Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.

BEECH TREE (the Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

CHESTNUT TREE (th

The other day, in the park, I was wondering why Frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you.

And then it hit me.

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I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

Bad golfer goes *whack*, Fuck it; bad skydiver goes Fuck it, *whack*

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Why are chimps always frowning?

They know that after a million years of evolution, some of them will end up as chavs.

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Why are Chavs like Slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

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A vauxhall nova with three chavs inside crashed into the sea last night, killing all three of them. Why is it a waste?

A nova seats four.

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Why should you never run over a chav on a bike?

It's probably your bike.

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Why did the chav get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

Because on the box it said 'From 2-4 years.'

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A pretty blonde walks into a bar and asks the handsome fellow at the bar what he's drinking.
He says, "Magic beer. You want one?"
"Aw, that's stupid. There's no such thing" she says.
"Look, I'll show you". He takes a big swig and proceeds to throw himself out of a nearby window, where he proceeds to fly up and around the building, and back into bar window.
"That's incredible! I don't believe it!" she says.
"Hey barkeep, throw me another one o' them Magic Beers". The bartender shakes his head and pours another beer and slides it down the bar. The man chugs about half of it and proceeds to leap out the window and circle the building again.
"Here, you try it" he says to the blonde.
She takes a big draw on the glass, jumps out of the window, and falls about 30 feet to the ground - breaking both her legs - and begins screaming in pain.
The bartender says, "Superman, you're a real bastard when you're drunk."

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Did you hear about the inflatable boy that went to the inflatable school with inflatable desks and inflatable classmates, etc..?
One day he took in a box of tacks and before he knew it he got hauled into the principal's office... "You've let down the school, you've let down the class, you've let down your teacher...."

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A group of four-year olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?"
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done
"I took a ride on a choo-choo."
"No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words." She said. She then asked little Alex what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

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A little boy is playing with his train set,
when mum overhears him say,
"All you bastards getting off, can fuck off. All you bastards getting on better fucking hurry up".
Mum sends him to his room for 2 hours until he learns
to be nice. When he starts playing again 2 hours later,
mum hears him say"Those disembarking, please
mind the step and have a nice day. Those
boarding please enjoy your journey, and those

Haha whilst browsing a forum, I found a thread about peoples pornstar names and thought it would be fun to do my own one here.
Everyone has to put a comment down, whether I know you or not, I don't care, of their porn star name
To work it out you use your first pet's name and your mother's maiden name.

Mine would be:

Buster Morrison

or

Midnight Morrison

Hehe

Do it or die!

Love you all x