(bear with me on this one, I know my reputation for geekiness ;-) )

Economic models...
Using COWS

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
then throws the milk
away...

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow
has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.
You then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so
that

you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for
five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are via an
intermediary to a Cayman
Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder.
He then sells the rights to all seven cows back to
your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on
one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the
roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
'cowkimon' and market
it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years.
Eat once a month.
And milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
But you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment...
High bovine productivity...
And arrest the newsman who reported the real
situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows.
Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of
cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you.
They bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part
of a Democracy...

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

Thank you anyone who voted for me to be head girl!

Sorry for anyone who was offended/ put down by my speech. It wasn't intended or expected, and it's hard to get it right when you've no idea what eveyone else is saying. I'm not up my own bottom really!

Thank you again everyone!

Music quiz thing: Revoltion!


1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Add in your real answer to see if they are alike at all!

What does next year have in store for me?
Catch 22- Pink
Oh the shame...
could be true though. I's tryin so hard I'm risking going round in a circle back to the beginning. The again, I might not and be wicked. We'll see huh?


What does your love life look like?
Long tall Sally- Little Richard
I don't even know this song...
Looks like my love life is me, but nicer. Hmm. My lovely bevan makes me feel like a pretty, longer, taller sally perhaps? x (puke )

What do I say when life gets hard?
All you can do- Willy Mason.
So true! The line is "Hope is all that you can do". It's practically my motto, freaky neh?


What do I think of when I get up in the morning?
Mizunderstood- Pink
Ergh, I really don't have that much pink. And she spells it with a "z"...
I am straight away in gear and ready to grab my bag, board the bus and enjoy an enjoyable and educationally fulfilling day at school. lol. No, I think of how many minutes of snooze I can get away with. Although, to be fair to my geekiness, I do work it out in multiples of 7 because that's the average length of a dream.

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
High Flying Bird- Toploader
I could get used to this (*Sally sways around her room holding the thin air lovingly. Bumps into chair. Stops, feeling a little silly). Actually this is near impossible to dance to. Hows about Au Privave, Charlie Parker lol. Or man i feel like a woman, for old times' sake!

What do you want as a career?
Wednesday Morning, 3AM- Simon and garfunkel
Looks like I'm working night shifts. I quite like the night actually- its peacefulness seems to soak up anything that's wrong. I love stars. Oooh dear getting soppy now, QUICK, next question

Your favourite saying?
Hello Goodbye- The Beatles
Lol, shows my short attention span! No, I like: "You must be the change you want to see in the world"- Ghandi and "Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrment as one goes along"- Samuel Buter

Favourite place?
Pumping on your stereo- Supergrass
It's true (although it sounds a little rude!). I'm content when I have my music, always.


What do you think of your parents?
Take your mama- Zutons live lounge cover
Freaky deaky...
Well, actually my mama and papa are the ones that need to take me out! And my opinion of my ma and pa: both lovely individually, both rubbish whenever they have to notice each other in any minute way. Or when they're stressed, but that can't be helped can it?


Where would you go on a first date?
Summer Breeze- Jason Mraz
Oh yes, I'm going to summer on my first date!


Describe yourself?
File me away- Badly Drawn Boy
I just felt a little sniff come over me. *sniff. Please don't, that's how I'd describe myself. I like my freedom, to be out of the file, or to file myself away, thank you v much!


What is the thing I like doing most?
The Return of the Blues Cowboy- Joe Strummer
That makes no sense. maybe I like doing cowboys? Wouldn't say no... (sorry bevan )
I like listening to/ playing music most. And having a good conversation, or a good bear hug.

The song that best describes the president?
Comfortably Numb- Scissor Scistors.
Oh, pass me a tissue, I'm crying from laughter! First lines: "Hello? is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can here me. is there anybody home?" ha ha ha ha ha etc etc

The song that will be played at your funeral?
Dreams be Dreams- Jack Johnson
"She's just waiting for the summertime when the weather's fine."... "Well summertime came along and then it was gone and so was she"... "Don't let your dreams be dreams"
Do I commit suicide or something? Oh that's sad Don't play this at my funeral, please.

The song you'll put as the subject?
Flying Sheep- Monty Python
"Those are sheep aren't they? Y